Standoff between new cat and resident cat

[shanticat]

Almost six weeks ago I brought a new cat home. We already have a 1-year-old Maine coon cat who's very sweet and sociable. Well, the new cat was a stray and she's maybe a year older than Navi, the male cat, but smaller than him. She's also a calico and pretty reserved. I went through the gradual process of separating them for nearly a month, feeding them on opposite sides of a door, rubbing towels on either one and swapping them, etc. I'm at my wits' end!!! The female is very resistant; she won't let him go within a few feet of her and refuses to go downstairs. She's up in the bedroom next to hours almost 24/7. She always wants to be up on the cat tree or some other higher location; she's especially wary of him when they're both on the floor. I've tried getting her to play around him and vice versa, but nothing's working. She's always trying to get away from Navi and he's starting to chase and swat at her.
What could I do to help these cats get along with each other?

 

[rad65]

With an unsocialized stray, it's going to take much much longer to introduce and make her feel comfortable than it would with a normal cat. It sounds like she is acting perfectly normal for a stray, unsocialized cat. She is going to want to be higher up so she can see everything that is going on. Not wanting to be on the same level as your other cat tells me she is not comfortable in her new territory yet. The best thing to do is give her some time, which may be weeks, and she will eventually started venturing out past her bedroom. Feliway spray sometimes helps calm down cats. Females tend to be more territorial than males, and a cat who was living outside is going to be even more territorial than normal.

 

[taryn]

Mama, when she was inside(she is one of my outside feral, but she was recovering from spending a week in the hospital and since she knew what a litter box was and it's intended use I let her out into the house to explore) was very cautious about Maude. The first time they saw each other she manage to scare Maude by inflating herself(she has very long very fluffy fur so she already looks big of course half of her was shaved bald but that end wasn't facing Maude) and hissing and banging on the floor aggressively with her paw. Now Maude weighed about 3 times what Mama did(Mama was 5 lbs, Maude was 15ish) but Maude steered clear of her. After that Mama walked into the living room, saw Nuts and promptly whacked him upside his head, which ironically enough was the exact same response Maude had to him the first time she saw him. Mama was Attitude and Nuts' grandma so they knew who she was and to leave her alone(Mama runs the show outside.) Maude still held a grudge over us bringing Attitude and Nuts inside and she wasn't about to be friendly with another cat so her and Mama just ignored each other.

In this case the 4 worked out a treaty immediately, they all just ignored each other. I don't know if Maude ever accepted Attitude and Nuts but she would tolerate them as long as they didn't bother her. She accepted Attitude more than Nuts which is funny since they say 2 female will get on worse than a male and a female and both Maude and Attitude were female and Nuts was male.

Mama refused to get on the furniture(I guess in her past life her 'owner' didn't allow her on furniture) but Maude, Attitude and Nuts all played the who can get up higher game.

They'll work it out, it is just going to take time. Let her stay in her bedroom until she is ready to leave and just let them figure each other out.

Taryn

 

[shanticat]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses. The only thing that distresses me is that our 1st cat, Navi, is pretty down about this situation. He meows dejectedly and just keeps following the new cat, trying to hang out with her, but she wants no part of him. It would help if there were another cat -- maybe a male that's younger than him. Both of you who responded to my question have more than two cats and I can't get a third cat. How can help my 1st cat ride this situation out?

Forgot to mention that I had a pheromone diffuser plugged in for a month -- no effect whatsoever on the new cat.