Spoiled cat demands attention, strikes back by 'bombing' the floors

[crazycatlass]

We've got a problem with our younger cat, Skidd...or rather, his behavior.

Skidd's not a kitten, maybe a couple or few years old, but has serious anxiety and abandonment issues. We have another cat--a female about six years--whom he is constantly trying to 'teach a lesson' without provocation. They get along about half the time, and the rest of it, he's chewing on her. :\

Anyway, the problem regards Skidd's demands for attention when I'm WORKING. Because of his separation issues, I made the mistake of allowing him to get used to sleeping between me and the computer anytime he wanted to. He'll curl up half on my chest, half on the keyboard, purring, snoring, and worst of all, passing gas in his sleep, and his considerable weight puts my right wrist and entire left arm to sleep. If I even appear to be considering  relocating him, he bites me. And as if all this weren't bad enough, he lays there beating me with his tail, shedding on my face and eyes, and repeatedly whacks keys and the mouse--it takes twice as long to type our a single paragraph with him here as it does to type several without his  'help.'

Any time I so much as step into the den, even if I'm just ducking in to empty the trash bin or find a book, he comes racing in after me, hops up in front of the computer, and howls, as though trying to convince me to sit down at the desk and let him lay on me. If I latch the den door with him on the other side...well, I'm sure you know how well that goes over--he is a cat. He howls and wails, pounds on the door, and beats up his sister, and we hear about the racket from our neighbors. (I'm pretty sure we have at least one neighbor who thinks we're torturing him.) If I leave the door open but refuse him a spot on the desk, he'll try sneaking around the area I've blocked off and 'accidentally' knock things off until I either throw him out, (see portion about locking him out) put him back on the floor, (Rinse, lather, repeat) or just give in and let him sleep on me. The worst bit, though, comes when I consistently refuse to let him have his way. If he gets barred access to the desk a few times in a row, he'll storm off in a huff to some random part of our apartment, squat on the floor, CRAP on it--usually less than a foot away from a clean litter box!--then wander around howling until I realize what he's done, follow his happy butt to the mess, and clean it up like a good little cat servant. Even when he doesn't 'bomb the floor' like this, he wanders around wailing like he's been abandoned, and it disturbs our neighbors--he is VERY loud, and we can hear his crying all the way at the opposite end of the common hallway, in the elevator! No one's filed any complaints yet, but I know he's driving everyone as nuts as he's driving us.

When he first started defecating on the floor, we worried he might be sick, and took him to the vet. The vet found nothing wrong with him, and confirmed it's a behavioral deal, especially since he still urinates in the boxes. So far, nothing we've tried has stopped this behavior. The only way I've found to keep him off the desk is by burning incense nearby, but even that only lasts a few minutes, and the stuff isn't free. Also, he rarely wants anything to do with me unless I'm at my desk

We have only the two cats, both are fixed and partially declawed, and they are by no means lacking for toys, treats, food, or entertainment. There are no children in the home, only myself and my fiance, and he works out of the home five days a week. I can't think of any specific changes that occurred shortly before he began this behavior. Just in case the doc missed something last time, we're taking him in tomorrow morning for a followup.

So, if anyone has any advice, please, PLEASE tell me, because this is driving us crazy and destroying our floors!

 

[crazycatlass]

Oh, good grief. Right as I posted this, I caught him at it again. All FOUR boxes were freshly cleaned, and he had plenty of access to all of them. He stood in one for a minute, squeaked, hopped out, butt-scooted to the door, then dropped a stinkbomb right there in the hallway...all because I wouldn't let him have his way. Spoiled cat....please help?

 

[lykakitty]

I know you don't want to hear this, but the only way to fix this problem is to let him go until he stops. Keep him out of the den and do not under any circumstances cave in when he's pounding at the door or howling to get in. Every time you do he learns that if he acts this way long enough he'll get what he wants, and he'll just keep getting worse. Once he's quiet and calm let him in for some attention time, take a break from working and give him undivided attention and treats for a little bit (start with a good amount of time and slowly make it shorter as he gets better at the door). When you're not working and he's at the computer yowling ignore him until he stops, then give him lots of attention. This method teaches him that being polite and quiet gets him the attention he wants, and it may take some time but I promise it does work.

You mentioned that when he gets frustrated with being locked out he attacks his sister. I recommend separating them when you're working (or otherwise doing whatever would make him have this reaction) to keep her safe and keep her from becoming scared of him or retaliating, which will only make things worse. As he gets better with his demand problem you should be able to let them be loose together again. It sounds like his frustration is being redirected towards her and that's not good for anyone.

As far as the defecating problem...well that's an odd one. First off you need to know that cats do not have a concept of revenge or retaliation. He doesn't go do this because he's mad at you. I'm guessing he's doing it because he's learned that it gets him attention. Like the other problem you need to break this cycle to fix it or he'll get worse. It's hard because you need to clean it up, but I'd say absolutely ignore him while you do. Don't talk to him, don't look at him, nothing. Clean it up without interacting with him in ANY way and go right back to what you were doing.

It'll get worse before it gets better. He'll try everything possible to get you to stop ignoring him and it'll be really hard to but as long as you stay consistent it will get better. There's no way to say how long it'll take but that's the only way to fix the root of the problem and not just have a temporary fix.

I know it sucks, I've gone through it multiple times, but keep at it. Good luck

 

[crazycatlass]

Excellent advice,LykaKitty. I do have some questions, though...we have an apartment with limited space, and the only rooms with doors are the den, bathroom,and bedroom. Whenever Skidd gets too rough with Goldie, we usually put him in his crate for a while to calm down--works like a charm, and usually puts him right to sleep. We keep the crate in the den. So first off, would crating him suffice, or would we need to bring Goldie in and lock him out? We always worry about locking him in the bedroom because of all the places he could hide a 'surprise.'
And yeah, he takes it out on Goldie. She's not old, per se--maybe five to seven?--but she's very fat, lazy, and prefers cuddling to fighting. Of course, she starts fights, too. >_

 

[lykakitty]

For general play if he gets too rough the crate sounds like it works fine, but for his yowling at the door then attacking her problem I'd keep her in a different room and him loose while he's doing it, wherever would be most comfortable for her to spend that time in. That way she'll be sate from him and he'll get the opportunity to learn. As he gets better you should be able to let her out sooner and sooner, and after a while maybe even start having her in the den with you when you let him in for his reward, so he can learn to share attention, too. I'd hold off on that until he's made some real improvement, though.

 

[cocobutterfly]

I second what Lyka said: cats do not have a concept of revenge or retaliation. She offered some great advice. Have you tried Kitten Attract or Cat Attract litter? We were having some litter box issues with Coco eliminating outside her box so we set up three different boxes each with different kinds of litter in various parts of the house. She ran right into Cat Attract, and she goes in there constantly, even when she doesn't have to go but just to scratch it and mark the walls of the box. We've switched all the boxes to Cat Attract, and since then no elimination problems outside the boxes. Kitten/Cat Attract has pheromone in it that attracts cats and creates calmness and contentment. It's certainly working for us. She seems much calmer and less needy since we made the switch. You could also try Feliway diffuser.

 

[crazycatlass]

UPDATE: As mentioned, we took Skidd to the vet 'just in case;' we have a plan with them, so the visit was free anyhow. The vet checked everything including glands--there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. It is most definitely a behavioral issue.

We've picked up a Feliway diffuser and are keeping it going in a central area of our home, are following the advice we've received both by the vet and on here, and next time we go shopping, we're getting some more fresh litter, just in case that's the issue. They both avoid one of the boxes, so we'll be replacing it as well; it's scratched on the inside, and might be holding odors even after several thorough scrubbings. :\ I've also taken to spending more time out of the den than in there, and encouraging Skidd to seek attention while I'm working on mending and needlepoint, or watching TV with Eric. He seems to be doing a little better. There've been a couple incidents lately, but we've not been finding several 'plotzes' a day, which is a big improvement. Whenever it happens, we do ignore him completely while cleaning it up, and give him attention when we see him leave the litter box after doing his thing.

Also, the whole 'retaliation' thing was a joke--I'm quite aware that they don't think in terms of getting back at people. My usual response to something that makes me upset is to find the humor in it, which in this case is 'Skidd's throwing a toddler tantrum over not getting attention, and plotzing on the floor in protest.' This response is a large portion of why we chose his name--Skidd Rowan. Though Rowan was originally chosen for its meaning, a friend pointed out that put together it sounded like "Skid Row." We use his full name when he's in trouble, and that full name makes us laugh every time, thus, less stress no matter what he's gotten into.

 

[crazycatlass]

We FINALLY found the answer!!!
Yep, it's been ages since I was on here, and in that time, we finally figured out the story behind Skidd's bathroom issues. Here's the story.
Our usual vet wasn't able to figure anything out and didn't seem too inclined to fix the problem, so we had an appointment with a different vet in the same office...she solved the problem with one visit, whereas he took spent literally months of appointments just trying to make us spend as much money as possible. Turns out Skidd's not plotzing on the floor because of a behavior issue - he's prone to constipation! This has been happening because he gets 'blocked up,' tries and fails to get it out in the box, then winds up making a mess on the floor. It seems standing on a hard surface made it easier to get going gone.
Needless to say, we've switched over to that vet permanently and have been able to work up a plan to prevent this from happening. Skidd now gets a weekly dose of an OTC hairball gel to keep him regular, and we keep training pads out in a couple of his frequently bombed spots just in case. This has solved so many problems of his! He's not wandering around howling, he's not being quite as aggressive or clingy, and so long as we don't miss his weekly dose, we don't find little landmines all over the place!
Thanks to everyone who offered their advice, and I hope y'all have a great Fall!