This is only my second post here. I'm hoping this is the right thread. If it's not, please feel free to move ir. And I apologize in advance if this post is too long. I'll try my best to keep this to only relevant info:
I live with a roommate. This is a new situation, sort of. I've lived here as a tenant in the same bldg on on different floor, as a tenant with my husband. Martin was terminally ill and died Nov 2021. I've known my "landlord" (he was really more of a best friend than a landlord) for 25+ years but I've only lived here abt 8 years, again, with my terminally ill hubby, Martin. Martin's death necessitated certain changes in living arrangements that recently included my "landlord/best friend" and I becoming room mates i.e. we now live on the same floor, in the same apt and each have our own bedroom. We are not a couple and never have been.
"Frank" "landlord/best friend" took in a feral abt 7 years ago now. Her name is Maggie. She's abt 13 years old and she spent the first 6 years of her life outdoors. She walked into his house (before I ever lived here) one day and decided to stay. She's still mostly very feral because he hasn't tried to domesticate her, which I don't agree with, but I also see her as his cat, so I do my best not to interfere in his dealings with her. It's hard sometimes bc I used to foster and rescue animals and have recently gotten back into it alittle. Bc of my background rescuing/fostering, I have very definite ideas on how to care for a foster, even a feral. We don't agree, but if it's not hurting her and it's helping her, I stay out of it. (Just as a quick example: If I were Maggie's person, and she walked into my house, I would have started trying right away (s l o w l y) to domesticate her on some level. I know you can't domesticate all ferals and some not at all. But I feel it's an obligation to at least try. Why? For example - if you can get them used to being picked up, you can out them in a carrier and take them to the vet when needed. If you don't bother trying to teach them this behavior and they need the vet one day, there's going to be an issue just to even get the poor thing into a carrier. And, again, I do know that you cannot "teach" all ferals this kind of thing. I believe you should at least try.)
So, cutting to the chase here, Maggie cut her tongue pretty severely on something. No clue what, she's basically a feral house cat. I started noticing things that were worrying to me - her chin and mouth looked like they were turning black (she's white and grey) and she was dropping weight at a pretty quick clip. So, I said something.
I should mention at this point that Frank had a very serious car accident (in 2006) where he ended up in a coma and nearly died, so he has some medical concerns. He can walk, he can drive, but he's got some concerns. As do I, by the way, but mine is due to a dx.
Back to Maggie: I said something to Frank abt getting Maggie to the vet and he basically said that I could, but that he "won't be able to" administer any meds to her bc, well, #s 1 thru 1,000 he's sick and he "can't" and excuse #1001 - Maggie is a feral and he'd never be able to pill her, certainly not for several days in a row. He goes on to say that he's got dental stuff and he deals with the pain, so how bad can it be for Maggie. Back to the Excuses Sermon #1002 thru #1Million as to how he's sick and he can't. How do I even know she's suffering? She seems mostly ok to him? (((What?!?)))
Horrified. I was positively Horrified/Mortified/Livid. Not once did he say that he'd even just try. Not once.
Just All abt Him, Him, Him, Him and his "pain."
I have known this person for 25+ years. I never thought in a Million Years I would hear this Tripe out of his mouth.
Since I now live on the same floor as him, I felt this was basically making me an accomplice in his (non)treatment of this cat. Which made me Really Angry and Really Sad. So, I decided: I will take Maggie to the vet and take over all of her care. He no longer gets a say, since if it was solely up to him, she wouldn't even be going to the vet (he actually said that - bc "he can't, bc he's sick")
I took Maggie to the vet. Her tongue is almost cut in two and she has stomatitis. Doc gave her a dose of antibiotics in one shot that will last abt 2 weeks and sent us home with pain meds and an anti-inflammatory. I've been able to give her the pain med. I think this is only bc Maggie has figured out that it helps her pain. She mostly doesn't take the anti-inflammatory.
The Major problem is she is not eating. I have tried mousse consistency food, really stinky fish smelling foods, pureed baby food, broths. She is mostly not eating or drinking. I bought some high calorie liquid for cats that I syringe feed her but she only tolerates that a couple of times per day and it's not nearly enough. I feel like she's going to die from not eating alone, which the vet told me is possible from this type of injury alone. They debrided the wound but the vet said they need the antibiotics to take hold, before they can even do surgery. Then they would do the surgery, then it's at least another 2 weeks before she would be able to use her tongue, even a bit. But she's already not eating. Likely bc she's in ridiculous pain, ven with the pain meds that I'm dosing her with. I also had the vet do a full blood work up to see if there's anything else going on with her. I should know those results tomorrow. I've been thinking abt asking the vet to put her on a feeding tube, even if it's only for a day or two, But would that be cruel to Maggie? She's already suffering and I don't want to prolong her suffering, if that's what I'm doing. If this is "just" a rough patch of not eating and she'll be fine otherwise, then I want to do that. I just don't know what to do for Maggie.
As an aside, 25+ years of "knowing" Frank and this whole deal with Maggie has shown me a side of him that I wish I had never seen. I don't know this person. I feel like I'm living with a sociopath. Or at least a narcissist. And I don't know what to do abt that now either. I can hardly even look at him now. Truly. And really was someone I considered my best friend. He was an important person in my life too, since my Martin died. I'm at a complete loss.
If you have any ideas that I can try that I haven't mentioned to feed Maggie, please post? Any ideas/advice on the rest of this would also be appreciated. Sorry so long.
I live with a roommate. This is a new situation, sort of. I've lived here as a tenant in the same bldg on on different floor, as a tenant with my husband. Martin was terminally ill and died Nov 2021. I've known my "landlord" (he was really more of a best friend than a landlord) for 25+ years but I've only lived here abt 8 years, again, with my terminally ill hubby, Martin. Martin's death necessitated certain changes in living arrangements that recently included my "landlord/best friend" and I becoming room mates i.e. we now live on the same floor, in the same apt and each have our own bedroom. We are not a couple and never have been.
"Frank" "landlord/best friend" took in a feral abt 7 years ago now. Her name is Maggie. She's abt 13 years old and she spent the first 6 years of her life outdoors. She walked into his house (before I ever lived here) one day and decided to stay. She's still mostly very feral because he hasn't tried to domesticate her, which I don't agree with, but I also see her as his cat, so I do my best not to interfere in his dealings with her. It's hard sometimes bc I used to foster and rescue animals and have recently gotten back into it alittle. Bc of my background rescuing/fostering, I have very definite ideas on how to care for a foster, even a feral. We don't agree, but if it's not hurting her and it's helping her, I stay out of it. (Just as a quick example: If I were Maggie's person, and she walked into my house, I would have started trying right away (s l o w l y) to domesticate her on some level. I know you can't domesticate all ferals and some not at all. But I feel it's an obligation to at least try. Why? For example - if you can get them used to being picked up, you can out them in a carrier and take them to the vet when needed. If you don't bother trying to teach them this behavior and they need the vet one day, there's going to be an issue just to even get the poor thing into a carrier. And, again, I do know that you cannot "teach" all ferals this kind of thing. I believe you should at least try.)
So, cutting to the chase here, Maggie cut her tongue pretty severely on something. No clue what, she's basically a feral house cat. I started noticing things that were worrying to me - her chin and mouth looked like they were turning black (she's white and grey) and she was dropping weight at a pretty quick clip. So, I said something.
I should mention at this point that Frank had a very serious car accident (in 2006) where he ended up in a coma and nearly died, so he has some medical concerns. He can walk, he can drive, but he's got some concerns. As do I, by the way, but mine is due to a dx.
Back to Maggie: I said something to Frank abt getting Maggie to the vet and he basically said that I could, but that he "won't be able to" administer any meds to her bc, well, #s 1 thru 1,000 he's sick and he "can't" and excuse #1001 - Maggie is a feral and he'd never be able to pill her, certainly not for several days in a row. He goes on to say that he's got dental stuff and he deals with the pain, so how bad can it be for Maggie. Back to the Excuses Sermon #1002 thru #1Million as to how he's sick and he can't. How do I even know she's suffering? She seems mostly ok to him? (((What?!?)))
Horrified. I was positively Horrified/Mortified/Livid. Not once did he say that he'd even just try. Not once.
Just All abt Him, Him, Him, Him and his "pain."
I have known this person for 25+ years. I never thought in a Million Years I would hear this Tripe out of his mouth.
Since I now live on the same floor as him, I felt this was basically making me an accomplice in his (non)treatment of this cat. Which made me Really Angry and Really Sad. So, I decided: I will take Maggie to the vet and take over all of her care. He no longer gets a say, since if it was solely up to him, she wouldn't even be going to the vet (he actually said that - bc "he can't, bc he's sick")
I took Maggie to the vet. Her tongue is almost cut in two and she has stomatitis. Doc gave her a dose of antibiotics in one shot that will last abt 2 weeks and sent us home with pain meds and an anti-inflammatory. I've been able to give her the pain med. I think this is only bc Maggie has figured out that it helps her pain. She mostly doesn't take the anti-inflammatory.
The Major problem is she is not eating. I have tried mousse consistency food, really stinky fish smelling foods, pureed baby food, broths. She is mostly not eating or drinking. I bought some high calorie liquid for cats that I syringe feed her but she only tolerates that a couple of times per day and it's not nearly enough. I feel like she's going to die from not eating alone, which the vet told me is possible from this type of injury alone. They debrided the wound but the vet said they need the antibiotics to take hold, before they can even do surgery. Then they would do the surgery, then it's at least another 2 weeks before she would be able to use her tongue, even a bit. But she's already not eating. Likely bc she's in ridiculous pain, ven with the pain meds that I'm dosing her with. I also had the vet do a full blood work up to see if there's anything else going on with her. I should know those results tomorrow. I've been thinking abt asking the vet to put her on a feeding tube, even if it's only for a day or two, But would that be cruel to Maggie? She's already suffering and I don't want to prolong her suffering, if that's what I'm doing. If this is "just" a rough patch of not eating and she'll be fine otherwise, then I want to do that. I just don't know what to do for Maggie.
As an aside, 25+ years of "knowing" Frank and this whole deal with Maggie has shown me a side of him that I wish I had never seen. I don't know this person. I feel like I'm living with a sociopath. Or at least a narcissist. And I don't know what to do abt that now either. I can hardly even look at him now. Truly. And really was someone I considered my best friend. He was an important person in my life too, since my Martin died. I'm at a complete loss.
If you have any ideas that I can try that I haven't mentioned to feed Maggie, please post? Any ideas/advice on the rest of this would also be appreciated. Sorry so long.
That is great news! Just take the tube feeding slowly and I am sure you will get the hang of it in no time! They did tell you that she can also be fed some food by mouth if/when she so chooses? Of course, the timing of that is up to the vet - and to Maggie (and you) as well.
which No one wants. She's a feral, though so I don't know how much she's going to let me handle her and/or sit still.
