Today I came to the conclusion that I was being a skittish cat guardian, and not striking any sort of balance between discipline and the lack thereof. By discipline, I mean the literal definition, which is training to adhere to a rule - not punishment, which people often confuse the two with. Self-discipline is not punishment, and neither is discipline of any other living creature.
I was training Lux with a clicker to accept brushing, which he used to loathe. He would yowl horribly any time I got near him with a brush or claw clippers - for the latter issue, I began by incorporating petting of the paws in regular petting. I also started petting him more in the areas he was less comfortable with - belly, legs, chest, bum, tail - slowly desensitizing him to this. I know it's not in their instincts to get up close and personal with hoomans, let alone to let them touch very sensitive parts of them, so I was patient. But it took me months to get to the point where he didn't flip out when I touched those parts, and when he enjoyed brushing. He was developing issues from having to lick up all the loose fur on his body, and viciously attacked himself with grooming many times a day - I actually saw the clumps of fur on his tongue during some of these sessions. It was the opposite of the languorous grooming cats are famous for, and that I used to see him enjoy. He looked pissed. I decided we weren't going to do this song and dance anymore.
I drank some herbal calming tea, because grooming always gets me jittery and that invariably transfers to the cat. I do this regularly however, so it was definitely not my jitters that affected him before. I sprayed some lavender essential oil freshener, turned on some classical music. I set him on a medium-height table with treats and grooming supplies, and used classic cat groomer positions to get at the parts he never let me brush. Being firm with him yielded results like never before. I even got to clip some of his claws today, which I have been avoiding for months because of the previous bad experiences. After these mini-sessions, I gave him some playtime and fed him a snack (I'm transitioning from free-feeding). He was acting much less "crazy-cat" than he has been in the past little while, and seemed much more relaxed yet also still very loving. He was a lot more receptive to playtime than he has been in weeks. He was a bit wary approaching me again for the first time afterwards, looking at me like he thought I was going to grab him, but I just looked away and kept reading and he curled up next to me on the bed. He is more receptive to petting now, too.
Honestly, I think cats can become brats. They are our darlings and our wonderful, intelligent friends, but at the same time, we are also their guardians. We are responsible for carrying out everything that this role implies, and that includes the temporarily uncomfortable things that will yield mutually beneficial results in the long run. They don't understand that in the future, after the grooming session is over, they will have fewer hairballs and not get their claws stuck in things, and this will be easier on them. They are incapable of reasoning this. All they know is that they don't like what is happening, and that you will let them get away with their protesting and reinforce that behaviour by letting them go, i.e. giving them what they want. I never let Lux get to the point where he was genuinely distressed and began vocalizing, and gave him frequent breaks. He was hopping on the table himself by the second mini-session.
Essentially I put my foot down. And...I think he respects me more now.
I would love to get some feedback about this.
I was training Lux with a clicker to accept brushing, which he used to loathe. He would yowl horribly any time I got near him with a brush or claw clippers - for the latter issue, I began by incorporating petting of the paws in regular petting. I also started petting him more in the areas he was less comfortable with - belly, legs, chest, bum, tail - slowly desensitizing him to this. I know it's not in their instincts to get up close and personal with hoomans, let alone to let them touch very sensitive parts of them, so I was patient. But it took me months to get to the point where he didn't flip out when I touched those parts, and when he enjoyed brushing. He was developing issues from having to lick up all the loose fur on his body, and viciously attacked himself with grooming many times a day - I actually saw the clumps of fur on his tongue during some of these sessions. It was the opposite of the languorous grooming cats are famous for, and that I used to see him enjoy. He looked pissed. I decided we weren't going to do this song and dance anymore.
I drank some herbal calming tea, because grooming always gets me jittery and that invariably transfers to the cat. I do this regularly however, so it was definitely not my jitters that affected him before. I sprayed some lavender essential oil freshener, turned on some classical music. I set him on a medium-height table with treats and grooming supplies, and used classic cat groomer positions to get at the parts he never let me brush. Being firm with him yielded results like never before. I even got to clip some of his claws today, which I have been avoiding for months because of the previous bad experiences. After these mini-sessions, I gave him some playtime and fed him a snack (I'm transitioning from free-feeding). He was acting much less "crazy-cat" than he has been in the past little while, and seemed much more relaxed yet also still very loving. He was a lot more receptive to playtime than he has been in weeks. He was a bit wary approaching me again for the first time afterwards, looking at me like he thought I was going to grab him, but I just looked away and kept reading and he curled up next to me on the bed. He is more receptive to petting now, too.
Honestly, I think cats can become brats. They are our darlings and our wonderful, intelligent friends, but at the same time, we are also their guardians. We are responsible for carrying out everything that this role implies, and that includes the temporarily uncomfortable things that will yield mutually beneficial results in the long run. They don't understand that in the future, after the grooming session is over, they will have fewer hairballs and not get their claws stuck in things, and this will be easier on them. They are incapable of reasoning this. All they know is that they don't like what is happening, and that you will let them get away with their protesting and reinforce that behaviour by letting them go, i.e. giving them what they want. I never let Lux get to the point where he was genuinely distressed and began vocalizing, and gave him frequent breaks. He was hopping on the table himself by the second mini-session.
Essentially I put my foot down. And...I think he respects me more now.
I would love to get some feedback about this.
usually after a bath he throws up for a few days, and won't eat right...but he was good, he was normal, and he was hungry! lol 
