Sooooo Ive got an issue in my life thats bugging me and I cant really bounce the idea off BF because it ties into his own family issue that I already know how he feels about.
Basically the jist of the story is that I dont know who my biological father is. I finally (after 11 yrs) got the guts to ask my mom what his name is, where he is from etc. Well I googled him and if I got it correct he passed away a couple years ago. 2006 I believe. But when I told my mom about it she said that I have a half sister and I should try looking her up. She knows that this bugs me because the father I was raised with was a jerk and I mean a class A royal JERK to me. I really wanted to know my biological father or atleast try and make contact with him to get his side of what happened. All my mom told me was that she got pregnant (in the AF) told him, they were happy planning on moving in together the whole shebang, he went away on vacation back to his hometown, came back married to the other woman he had a kid with. Yada yada yada fast forward to now. The Martic Eric Carn I found that passed away had a brother whom I could probably contact thru his work email, basically I just want to ask him if his brother was in the Air Force stationed in North Dakota in 83 and 84. If he was then more than likely he is the Martin Carn that is my biological father. I would also like to look up his first wife, based on the obituary they seem to be estranged, his first daughter wasnt mentioned at all but his 14 yr old son was...His son would now be 18, and his first daughter would be about 28 or 29, she was three yrs older than me.
I do want to try and contact them, maybe try and find out more about what my biological dad was like, see a picture of him stuff like that. But Im really worried about the rejection. Obviously something bad happened between him and my mom and really I wouldnt put it past my mom to be the jerk and keep me away from him even though he wanted to be in my life. Its not that far fetched if you knew my mom. But at the same time what he if never wanted anything to do with me. Its not as if I can say lets get a DNA test done if it has passed away. But maybe going thru his brother would be a better bet to atleast start the root of my investigating. Geez I dont even know if google is the best option to start. I just googled his name, and his hometown in Alabama and an obituary came up and when I asked my mom and told her the age she said that its very likely that it was him the age was right.
I just dont know what I should do, should I let it go and keep going as I was or should I risk the rejection and try and find my half siblings and try and contact them. I would ask BF but he just says do what you want because his mom abandoned him and his brother and he refuses to have any contact with her at all because of what shes done and the fact that she took their half sister away knowing she was being abused. Its something that effects him all the time and even at his sisters wedding he was miserable because his mother was smack dab in front of our faces the whole time trying to corner him and his brother when neither of them want anything to do with her.
OPRAH.....MONTELL......MAURY....HELP ME! lol
I just needed to vent this all out and try and talk around it.....Maybe someone can give me some online searching help to even just try and find them...from there I guess I could decide what to do...I dont know but thanks for listening guys!!!!
Basically the jist of the story is that I dont know who my biological father is. I finally (after 11 yrs) got the guts to ask my mom what his name is, where he is from etc. Well I googled him and if I got it correct he passed away a couple years ago. 2006 I believe. But when I told my mom about it she said that I have a half sister and I should try looking her up. She knows that this bugs me because the father I was raised with was a jerk and I mean a class A royal JERK to me. I really wanted to know my biological father or atleast try and make contact with him to get his side of what happened. All my mom told me was that she got pregnant (in the AF) told him, they were happy planning on moving in together the whole shebang, he went away on vacation back to his hometown, came back married to the other woman he had a kid with. Yada yada yada fast forward to now. The Martic Eric Carn I found that passed away had a brother whom I could probably contact thru his work email, basically I just want to ask him if his brother was in the Air Force stationed in North Dakota in 83 and 84. If he was then more than likely he is the Martin Carn that is my biological father. I would also like to look up his first wife, based on the obituary they seem to be estranged, his first daughter wasnt mentioned at all but his 14 yr old son was...His son would now be 18, and his first daughter would be about 28 or 29, she was three yrs older than me.
I do want to try and contact them, maybe try and find out more about what my biological dad was like, see a picture of him stuff like that. But Im really worried about the rejection. Obviously something bad happened between him and my mom and really I wouldnt put it past my mom to be the jerk and keep me away from him even though he wanted to be in my life. Its not that far fetched if you knew my mom. But at the same time what he if never wanted anything to do with me. Its not as if I can say lets get a DNA test done if it has passed away. But maybe going thru his brother would be a better bet to atleast start the root of my investigating. Geez I dont even know if google is the best option to start. I just googled his name, and his hometown in Alabama and an obituary came up and when I asked my mom and told her the age she said that its very likely that it was him the age was right.
I just dont know what I should do, should I let it go and keep going as I was or should I risk the rejection and try and find my half siblings and try and contact them. I would ask BF but he just says do what you want because his mom abandoned him and his brother and he refuses to have any contact with her at all because of what shes done and the fact that she took their half sister away knowing she was being abused. Its something that effects him all the time and even at his sisters wedding he was miserable because his mother was smack dab in front of our faces the whole time trying to corner him and his brother when neither of them want anything to do with her.
OPRAH.....MONTELL......MAURY....HELP ME! lol
I just needed to vent this all out and try and talk around it.....Maybe someone can give me some online searching help to even just try and find them...from there I guess I could decide what to do...I dont know but thanks for listening guys!!!!