Don't worry about it, it's your life and you live it the way you want, not the way is expected of you. You could always turn it round and when they say they want to have kids, nod smugly and say, you'll change your mind.
Originally Posted by moggiegirl
Why is it that whenever I say that I don't want to have kids and that I never will, people belittle my lifestyle choice and say "Someday you'll change your mind." Or "I know someone who was exactly like you. She was career oriented and just as passionate and adamant about not having kids as you and one fine day she got pregnant and now she has kids. I've been there." And I say "No, I mean it. I know myself and I'm not having kids, ever." and then I hear "Yeah right, sure, sure, you'll change your mind someday. You never know." And I say, "I do know." And then people like to grab my goat about it.
I may look young for my age, but what people don't get is that I'm not this young 20 something year old who doesn't know what she wants. I am 32 years old. Usually people in their 30s have a better understanding of who they are and what they want and I know myself. I do not want to have kids ever. I just love my cats. I'm a mom to my cats and I will always choose to have cats over children. I must have my furkids. I do want to have a husband without children so we can enjoy our double income household and do all the wonderful things we want and go all the places we want without kids and have all the pleasures of life we want, without kids. I'm selfish. So what? I enjoy having a good job and making a decent amount of money. And I'm not worried about not having anyone to take care of me when I'm old because that's not a reason to have kids. I will join a retirement home and make friends with other old people when I can no longer care for myself. I'm not against having kids, it's just not for me. But people like to insist my statement is wrong and that I will definitely change my mind when I'm older(Even though after 35 it's not reccommended as much and I'm only 2 and a half years away from that age), and they seem to think that choosing not to have kids is unnatural and that my placing value on having cats over having kids is eccentric. But why don't people believe me? There are people who not only say they don't want children, but stay true to that choice their entire lives and I have a very strong gut feeling in me that I'm definitely one of these people because I've been feeling like this for more than a decade and I haven't changed my mind by now and I doubt I'll change my mind by the age of 40 and beyond. I know myself.
I tried to get sterilized at the age of 27, and went through the process of planning a leave of absence off work but the doctor denied me for the same reason. So because I was unable to provide clinical proof I didn't get my leave of absence and I guess I can say I was spared a drastic operation but thankfully birth control pills have kept me happily unable to have children and I'll keep taking them until I'm about 40 or so, in a doctor's mind the legal age for sterilization. I think after age 35, we're supposed to switch from high estrogen pills to progesterone only pills because of the risk of blood clots associated with high estrogen birth controls but with the progesterone only you have a slight increased risk of pregnancy. Not to be nosy, but I wonder what some of the women here over 35 use as effective means of birth control. In about 2 and a half years I'll have to start thinking about changing birth control.Originally Posted by MuttigreeMom
DITTO!
I swear whenever I hear someone say "Oh, you'll change your mind" I just want to rip their throat out. Harsh? Yeah, probably... but it's quite presumptuous of them... and if I do say so, quite condescending of them to think they know me better than I do. I've lived with this body and mind for 26 years. For all of those 26 years I didn't want kids. I didn't even play house when I was younger. And so help me if I could find a Dr. that would sterilize a 26 y/o who has never had kids I would be over there in a minute... but even the doctors won't do it. Why? Because "Oh, you'll change your mind"
#$%& THEM
Ohh, I think I know which movie you're talking about. It was actually pretty interesting, in my opinion, but at the same time, I'm seeing people like that everywhere, and that's one of the big reasons I'm not thrilled about having a kid. Definitely not saying all kids turn out that way, but still.. I'd rather not have any.Originally Posted by booktigger
I watched a film about teenagers the other night - not my kind of film, and I did think it was something else, but it really really put me off kids - the main character was a nice, shy kid till she got involved with someone, and ended up stealing, taking drugs, drinking, self harming and poss underage sex. And got the blame at the end of it.
I know...I'm 19 & I will NEVER have kids. I find myself getting angry too easily at children, they seem to irritate me. Dogs and cats mature so quickly, I like that. Kids learn so slow...Originally Posted by Moz
Although I'm pretty much half the age of the OP, I know I won't have kids. I've known that since I was little and everyone had toy dolls and pretended that they were their babies. I'd rather adopt, or just stick to cats.