Socialising a stray to our family and our cat

Adhake

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Hello all,
I’m back again for some advice.. you guys helped me with how to socialise my feral kitten.. well we fell in love with a stray female cat that started coming to our feral feeding station. We watched her and she was not as fearful as our ferals so we knew she has had contact with humans before. .. she is very shy but lets me and sometimes my husband pet her. She LOVES our kitten who is almost a year now.. and I mean loves her!! So we trapped her and I mean she just walked into a dog kennel 🤣 she flipped out for a bit but then settled she was pretty angry with us until after she got spayed 2 days later.. then she warmed up to us petting her that same day! We have been trying to get her to warm to us and get her(Petal) and our kitten (Pea short for Sweet Pea) use to each other at the same time. She is super keen to be with Pea but she really only comes out of her hiding spot( under the dresser) for Pea and sometimes if I get her focused on a toy. Which isn’t easy as she is not use to toys she is kinda leaning how to play with them.. We had our first non barrier interaction today. We have followed all the steps and we think we did well at our first meet this morning. ( I will attach a video to show how it went) it lasted about 5 minutes before Pea had had enough. They started to swat at each other but didn’t talk so I feel like it was a win. Petal keeps advancing onto Pea trying to rub on her but Pea just doesn’t know what to do with it 😝 After we got Petal back in home base Pea ran zoomies and kept going to Petals screen door and kinda playing crazy and then jumping off in the other direction to play in a different spot. They sleep a couple times a day on each side of the screen together not up against it but a couple feet apart. I’m not super worried about them but want to make sure I’m doing the right thing. Also will it be ok if they get use to each other and can roam freely before Petal lets us into her heart?

Pea is darker and bigger than Petal ☺
[URL="https://thecatsite.com/media/img_1101-mov.425570/"][/URL]
 

Mamanyt1953

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Well, drat. The video did not work. HOWEVER, from what you are describing, they're doing just fine. I'd let them have supervised time together, for sure. They can't learn each other's ways until you do! As for your last question, by all means let them have their time! Petal will learn from Pea that you aren't nearly as scary as you sometimes seem to her. They DO learn from each other, you know.
 
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Adhake

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Yeah I know they do I just wanted to bounce this off of everybody and make sure I wasn’t rushing anything. I see the video isn’t working but if anyone wants to watch I did type pea and petal in the search and it popped up and played.. not sure why happened to the one I attached.
 

Mamanyt1953

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There's no set timeline, other than, "You cannot go faster than the most reluctant cat." If someone seems overly fraught, slow down. Use your best judgement on this, and remember that you can backtrack if needed. Cats are very generous with their "do-overs."
 
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Adhake

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Ok so a little update. I need some help with my stray Petal. She seems to be doing well with being inside and happy to be our cat. Her body language seems more relaxed than when we first brought her in. She even is playing with us a little ( she loves ribbon and this other toy that looks like a mouse tail but bigger) I’m really stressed cause she isn’t eating much. What she is eating I’m having to hand feed her to get her to eat.. she was eating better when both cat were on opposite sides of the screen. Also when she was outside I was also feeding her and she ate 3 times a day the whole plate of food and now getting her to eat 1 serving is taking the whole day.. I have tried different foods even went back to what she was eating outside. But nothing seems to be making her happy to eat. She will only eat the liquid treats with gusto and doesn’t even like any other treats I offer her. She has been to the vet and her labs are good as well. She dose not seemed stressed to not eat. She even ate when she was in the feral trap and super stressed. I’m really worried and don’t know what to do. I’m already worried all the time about the two cats being together as my cat seems either disappointed at petal cause she dose not play the same as our cat ( sweet pea) . Sweet pea try’s to get her to chase and play but she just flops on the floor. And the rest of the time sweet pea just sit across the room and watches petal like why are you here? When petal engages she is purring and wants to rub or head butt sweet pea but she just taps her in the head like no I don’t want that… I’m worried I have made a mistake somewhere and don’t know what to do. I want them both to be happy and healthy more than anything!
 

Alldara

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She's still recovering from her spay. Perhaps she's in pain? Did the vet provide pain medication for her?
 
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Adhake

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I would say that was a possibility if she didn’t play and roll around on her abdomen like she dose. No they did not. It will be 2 weeks on Friday as well. I would hope that any pain she had has gone.
 

Alldara

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I would say that was a possibility if she didn’t play and roll around on her abdomen like she dose. No they did not. It will be 2 weeks on Friday as well. I would hope that any pain she had has gone.
Is there any redness around the wound?
 
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