Skittish Kirby

[KingKirby]

I've had Kirby for 1.5 months now. He was trapped as a stray when he was about 4 months old, found to be FELV+ and had lived at a shelter before I took him. Hes now close to 1 year old.

It could be his personality or the trauma of being trapped but he's very skittish. He has opened up a bit, eats well, uses his litterboxes consistently. He's also gotten more comfortable with me in the room and will play when I engage him with a wand toy. I try to get in at least half an hr of play with him everyday. He also plays on his own with the truckload of toys I've put in his room.
He does not let me pet him. He will try to avoid me, so far he's not been aggressive other than hissing a bit. He will stare at me with suspicion if I so much as rub my nose or move my leg while playing with him. When I stand up he normally bolts and hides under the sink almost immediately. If there's a sound that comes frm outside while we are playing, he would still stare at me with suspicion and you can see him deciding if he should run and hide.

My problem is he's not neutered and I had plans to, but now I'm really having second thoughts. It took a long time for him to be how he is now, and he's still really skittish. Having me grab him and wrestle him into a carrier and off to the vet will probably traumatise him more. I'm not sure if he would ever trust me again after that, given how little he trusts me now even though his life is fairly stable and comfortable now. Oh and I'm already into my second Feliway diffuser bottle.

I'm not sure what more I can do to get him to be comfortable around me, maybe this is as good as it gets. But what do I do about the neutering...? Is it okay not to neuter him? He never goes outside so the worst thing that can happen is he'll start spraying.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

 

[ArtNJ]

If you don't, big risk that he will start marking everywhere with urine. There is absolutely no way to prevent that, it can start at any random time with an unneutered cat. Tomorrow, next month or in six months. Once it starts however, it is often too late. Neutering does not fix it. Cat breeders do NOT let unfixed male cats wander about their home for this reason. You might get lucky, but its not something to gamble with.

Neutering is also known to help with behavior problems. Not necessarily anxiety, but it is known to help with so many different behavior problems that this is a real #2 reason to do it. There are other reasons as well, but those will likely be the big ones for you.

I can't guaranty it won't be an issue for this cat, but most cats get over the added stress from the procedure pretty quickly, especially if you don't make them wear the cone. In any event, yes, you really do need to do it.

 

[susanm9006]

Please go ahead and get him neutered as soon as possible. Getting picked up, stuffed in a carrier and taken to the vet isn’t going to be appreciated but better to get it out of the way rather than waiting until he starts to trust you and then having to bring him in.

My girl was a semi feral I adopted nine years ago as a one year old. She was exceptionally skittish and distrustful but over the years she has made great strides in relaxing and enjoying human company and attention. She is pretty much always in the room with me, and loves to cuddle next to me in the recliner. But I still cannot walk through a room quickly or be anywhere near her when she is eating without her heading for the hills. I just accept her and her fears and do things on her terms.

Patience and time will also help your guy.