Skittish adopted siblings, help!

[leftiesrock]

My cat of 15 yrs passed away in March. I thought I was ready to adopt again. I adopted two kittens, siblings, brother and sister. First thing first, they both (particularly the boy) have an upper respiratory infection that I must give them medicine for, for the next 4-5 days. So I adopted sick kitties! I'm assuming upper respiratory infections are fairly common, but once medicated, they should be fine? Next, and this is the bigger issue, they are (particuarly the girl) are quite skittish. They won't come to me (yet) and I can only get close to her if she's sleeping or eating. How much time is needed for them to adjust? I understand all cats are different, but what is the norm? I am starting to think I should have fostered rather than adopted, as a new kitten is a 15-20 year commitment, and while I thought I was ready, I am beginning to think I was fooling myself. I'm not sure what to do and I feel like a horrible human being for even considering returning them. I have cried and broken out in hives over what decision is best. :/

 

[kirathecat]

@LeftiesRock      Welcome to TCS!

First, let me tell you how very sorry I am for your loss.

There's a subforum called 'Crossing the Bridge' where you can share memories of your beloved cat and find lots of support

http://www.thecatsite.com/f/19/crossing-the-bridge

And thank you for adopting those kittens. I'm sure they appreciate it even if they are still shy.

I'm assuming you got the kittens from the shelter? Unfortunately, URI are quite common. Unless there's something else going on, the kittens should get better and be fine after treatment. Don't despair!

How long have they been with you? Days? Weeks?

You are correct, it is very different for every cat so there really is no norm, sorry.

  But kittens are usually much more adaptable to change.

You might want to check out this article to help your kittens settle in 
[article="32804"]How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home  [/article]
You are not a terrible person, grieving and mourning the loss is different for everybody. I'm hoping if you give kittens more time to adjust you will bond with them and they will become your comforting friends 

But in the end of the day, only you can decide what is best for you and the cats.

 

[leftiesrock]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel the mistake I made was adopting kittens, when perhaps I should have gotten a teenager or adult cat that was already ready to be a lap cat, which is really all I wanted. It's only been a short time. I'm gonna try to stick it out. I just want to love them and have them come to me, rather than running the other way. *sigh*

 

[kirathecat]

Yeah, well, i adopted a 1.5 male who turned out to be completely opposed to any sort of cuddles

 During the first month he would come and lay on my chest and purr and even fall asleep like this but once he settled in he stopped doing it and he HATES laps, he squirms and runs away as if i just put him on a fire grill

He does sleep on the bed with me though, that's something 

 My point is there's never any guarantee when it comes to cats, each and every one of them is so different.

Give it time, watch your kittens, how they play, how much fun they have, what mischief they create, just enjoy them, they'll grow up soon enough. And i'm sure with patience and love you'll build a strong bond.