Sister Separation Anxiety During Walks

[Tcatmaher]

Kali sometimes cries loudly at the door the whole time I'm walking her sister and littermate Sekhmet. It's loud enough that I can hear her from outside and she always sounds heartbroken even though Sekhmet gets 2 walks a day and they never go beyond 30 minutes. I've tried taking Kali on the walks but she gets scared and wants to go home quickly. It doesn't seem to matter if anyone is still at home with her. And she used to go out on their catio and yell at us in person while we walked so I don't think she thinks Sekhmet is being stolen away to a bad place.

The best solution I have right now is to shut her in a room so she doesn't see Sekhmet walk out the door without her but obviously this is not ideal. Especially since according to my roommate Kali just spends the whole time near the door without relaxing.

It's even more confusing because when Sekhmet comes home Kali tries to fuss over her and check that she's ok but Sekhmet always comes home in a bad mood and takes it out on Kali. So I try not to let them meet at the door anymore because Sekhmet ends up swatting and hissing at Kali and Kali gets her feelings hurt.

It's also weird because sometimes Kali realizes I'm about to walk Sekhmet and doesn't even bother getting out of bed so I'm not sure what triggers the separation anxiety.

 

[danteshuman]

Hmmmmmm would one of those doggy strollers with a box/cave/tunnel in it so she can be with you guys and go on the walks work? Maybe try putting her in a carrier to start with? For my mom’s cats Cami runs around the backyard calmly (if she ever tries to escape or climb out then she will be on the harness.) Her brother (my boy (grey/white) when he visits & my mom's boy (black)) go outside with their harness’s hooked up to very long leashes attached to the large patio table. We supervise them & constantly untangle their leashes every 10-30 minutes. Jackie has a 26ft lead plus his 6 foot leash that lets him have run over most of her yard. At my place he has the same distance letting him run/explore my patio & the common area. Perhaps with both cats hooked up on long leashes your scaredy cat can hide in the doorway and your little explorer can have fun outside?

Honestly I wish the walks went better but her separation anxiety sounds worrisome! Since it is a cat she is having separation anxiety over I would take her to the vet and ask for a medication to help (?prozac cream?) What happens if her buddy gets sick or needs to go to the vet or god forbid dies? Plus that level of anxiety is no way to live!

 

[ArtNJ]

How old are these cats? I've only seen separation anxiety with kittens.

Interestingly, the separation anxiety was only one way. As they grew, while the separation anxiety stopped, I feel like that was always the sweeter cat, more bonded to the sibling than the other. The other could take or leave the sweeter cat. Although he seemed to not need the relationship, when his more bonded brother died he suddenly became *much* more affectionate with us, making me feel like he did benefit from the love of the sweeter kitten even if he didn't show it.

 

[Tcatmaher]

Thank you very much for your responses!

Their 5th birthday is in 2 days and they usually don't act very bonded. Except when one of them needs a bath! Then they get very worried about each other. And ArtNJ, your two cats sound exactly like my Cayman and Mobay! Cayman almost never initiated pet-time until her very sweet brother passed on. Then Cayman spent the rest of her life as an incredibly affectionate cat. Almost like she needed to make up for the love she wasn't getting from her brother anymore.

And don't worry, most of the time Kali is completely stress-free and happy! In fact, except for last night and this morning she hasn't yelled at the door in months! But I agree that I definitely don't want her going through this. And it's funny, but Kali doesn't get upset when Sekhmet has to go to the vet. Only when Sekhmet is having fun without her! I absolutely love your idea of taking Kali with us in a kitty stroller! (Maybe a birthday present!) The setup you have with your cats sounds amazing! I wish we could do that here, but now we live on the second floor of an apartment building and it isn't possible for Kali to be able to see Sekhmet downstairs while being in the doorway.

This is silly of me, but I never thought about asking our vet! And I had no idea that there was cat medication that could be given transdermally! I'm so glad about that, since I always figured any stress relief from the medicine might be ruined by having to GET the medicine! I'll definitely get in touch with our vet!

While I wait for the new cat stroller to be shipped, is there any kind of de-stressing routine I could do for Kali before I walk Sekhmet? Like if I play with her first do you think she'll be too tired to get upset or will she already be worked up?

 

[danteshuman]

People also have been using CBD oil to de stress cats but I don’t know much about it. Maybe ask about it in the health forum?

Cats live routine! So her friend going outside at exactly the same time each day for roughly the same amount of time each day should help.

I hear you about the whole ‘making sure my brother/sister does not get more treats/playtime/affection then me!!! In fact when I am at my mom’s house where there are multiple kitties, when I want one cat, I call all the other kittens so they will feel left out if they do not come

 

[danteshuman]

Cats love routine (ooops! LOVE not live!)

 

[Tcatmaher]

I'd say cats definitely live routine too! Maybe I can get her settled in to eat while we're gone. That would be a pretty good distraction!

Cat paranoia: the fear that some cat, somewhere, has something that you might want!

CBD oil might work! I'm also curious about those pheromone diffusers.