Single kitten, need help!

[sanecatlady2]

I feel weird posting on here because in all other areas, she is perfect, my new 6 month kitten doesn't use the bathroom anywhere but the litterbox, she eats without complaint, she doesn't spray etc. This is my first cat however, so I'm not sure what to do. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have talked myself into getting a kitten. I had originally wanted to get an older cat from a shelter, but a family member was fostering kittens so I ended up taking one.

She meows. A LOT. There needs to be another word for needy to describe how needy this kitten is. I realize she is just a baby but even so! If I am not in her line of sight at all times, she  yowls, even when I am with her she yowls. She is not interested in being petted most of the time, but only wants to play. This I understand, but I cannot play all day as I am by myself and work 8 hours a day. I have her on a regimen of playing 10 mins in the morning, 20 mins in the afternoon when I get home and 30-40 mins before bed. Is this not enough playtime? And occasionally she will be done with playing but will just sit there and meow constantly for no reason! She's not hungry, she's not tired, I'm paying attention to her, so what is the problem! I don't know what she wants! If I try to leave to go to work she will race me to the door and then block it, and if I open it to leave, she tries to run out (but then quickly freezes in fear). I constantly have to psych her out by throwing one of her toys up the stairs just so I can sneak out! This is ridiculous!

I was considering getting her a buddy but honestly, I don't really want another cat. And most of the people I see who have two cats and say to get another one, and that two is not that much more work than one, are part of a husband/wife, or girlfriend/boyfriend or friend/roommate situation, which is kind of misleading, since there is two people to share that 'tiny bit of workload'....another friend I have is by herself with two cats and in her words "two cats is a lot of freaking work'. So I don't want to add to this problem, and there is also the guilt of knowing that I don't really want another cat...they would just be a playmate for my current cat. I'm not sure if thats the right mindset to get into adopting another kitten. Am I wrong?

What if getting another kitten doesn't work and now I have two needy cats? What if this new cat comes in with terrible habits and influences my cat, who is normally well behaved toilet-wise? Does this happen? Was it inhumane to just get one kitten? 

I feel so stupid for taking on this responsibility...I thought I was prepared, but it seemed like I was prepared for an adult cat. I googled a lot about kittens before I got her but of course now that I have one, I have the right situations to google and it seems like everything about what I'm doing is wrong, >I work full time, >i'm the only one in the house, >no other pets...sigh. I honestly wish I had gotten one from a shelter where I could have asked the right questions instead of asking the foster mom. 

I leave out toys when I'm not home for her, which she ignores. I leave treats around the house for her to find on a treasure hunt which she also ignores. She ignores the television, treat balls, and she's lost interest in the bird feeder. She only will play if i'm holding something on a string. I've tried automatic toys on a timer that turn on when I'm not home and I don't' think she plays with those either...she shows no interest in them when I"m there. She very rarely plays by herself and only with the ball that goes around in circles on a track, and then she quickly gets bored and its back to square one. The vet has given her a clean bill of health as well

What makes it worse is that I left her at her foster mom's house for two weeks when I was on vacation and during that time, she was COMPLETELY FINE. Super chill, no meowing, just normal. But that family has a person who is always home and also a dog, so I'm thinking that she's developing some kind of separation anxiety from being at home all day with me, but is 'another cat' really the only way to fix that? Should I rehome her to a family that will have a lot of people home and other pets? Or is this just a kitten phase and should I wait it out? I just want her to be happy and it seems like she's not happy here. I don't know what to do...any advice? Everywhere I google is like TAKING ON PETS IS A LIFETIME RESPONSIBILITY but at the same time is it fair to have her be unhappy here? Or will she grow out of it? Will I ever get my computer back from her furry butt? 

(she is meowing at me as I'm typing this)

 

[korvia]

When she mews at you, have you tried picking her up for cuddles? One of my boys mews when he wants to be held.

How old was she when she left her mom? that might play a factor into how needy she is, but I would also take her needy ness as a sign that she loves you very much and wants to do everything with you. I don't have too much advice as my boys are younger then your little girl, I would like to think she'll grow out of it.

 

[sanecatlady2]

yep! although I think that might be helping the problem? I used to pick her up all the time when she mewed in the past (not as much), but now she does it constantly, and I think I might be setting a bad precedence? Not sure on this. Also sometimes when she meows and I pick her up she wriggles out of my hands...its hard to tell. 

She was 3 months when she left her mother, and raised with her siblings in a foster home until 4 months old. She's now 6 months old, I got her when she was 4 months old.

I know she loves me a lot and I want her to be happy, which is why it breaks my heart when I see her seeming so unhappy ;/

 

[tammyp]

First up, this site will help you tonnes with understanding your first cat: http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/   Have a good look around (I think I read 3 years worth of writing it was so good when I needed help).  She really covers every question.

As to re-homing, it is something to consider.  If she really can only be happy in a situation you can't provide, but you CAN FIND her this situation, then it is kind.  If it is a case of giving her up to a shelter, then no, it's not kind.  Perhaps a chat with the foster mum could be of help generally, and maybe she could put out some feelers for you in case rehoming is the decision you need to make?

But there are maybe a few things to consider before you can make that decision - is she desexed?  If not, do so asap.  Then as a small tool, you could put some feliway on.  It will help make her feel 'safe'.  Finally, some cats really do need a buddy.  We were driven nuts by our first kitten, and were finally able to give him a friend 4 months ago.  It has made a world of difference, although there are also some new dynamics that require our attention (there's always something!).  But in terms of work, the second kitten generally has given us far more respite - prior to her arrival, we were at least 3hrs everyday playing or walking Kato.  It's halved.  (Of course, if they both get sick, then it's double the work, hence I say 'generally'). Even though 'we' are husband/wife, I took most of the brunt of Kato for 2 years as husband was rarely home, and then he got leukemia...now that he is a bit better he is around more so it is easier, but the cats are still my over-all charge (and they are a breed who are VERY demanding).  

As to your wondering about conditioning her by 'giving in to her demands', don't worry on that score.  If cats need attention, give them some.  Cats need to be spoiled - and you won't spoil (ruin) the cat by doing so.  Having said that, you can also negotiate with them so you can have your hands free to get on with stuff...like if you provide a special bed/blanket/your coat right next to the computer, you won't have to cuddle her or have her butt on the computer (and she'll get the closeness and specialness she craves as mummy just made a special bed!).  With our cats, if someone wants something, the asking will be constant, so we work on fixing the need.  It's a hard thing, constant meowing, as you really get frustrated, but work at it with patience because there really is something they are telling you, and if you discover it, it is a very very sweet moment.  Plus you get points for trying!  And as to how much play is needed (well done, you are working hard), it is totally cat dependant - play her until she literally flops on her side.  If she is walking away from the toy, she is either satisfied, or bored with your style/toy choice, so change it up (loads on my blog about this if you need ideas).

And the last little thing I can think of, is if you do decide to think about another pet companion, have a read of that blog to work out a compatible buddy.  I'm wondering if an adult cat could be a good buddy for you both - the adult will help train your kitten, and you will have the 'easier' pet you did actually set out to find.  But make sure it is a YOUNG adult (sub 3) as they will still need the energy and desire to play in order to like your kitten.  I actually know many single people with two cats...once you've done the research and thinking needed to choose wisely, read up on introductions and done that work properly, you could be looking forward to happy families...

Best wishes!

 

[di and bob]

I know that some cats are a LOT more vocal then others, unfortunately you got one of them. I would bet that another cat would focus her attention on them, she is craving attention and love.  Otherwise she will probably out grow it but that could take a while. Best of luck, I hope it all works out!

 

[catpack]

I am single, have 6 cats of my own AND work for a rescue. Actually caring for 2 cats (feeding, litter box care, playing, giving them attention...) really is not double the work. The only thing I would suggest is to make sure you are financially able to take either to the vet when necessary.

If you are afraid of the long term commitment, look at fostering first. Our rescue works on a "foster-to-adopt" plan to make sure everyone adjusts as expected (we do this with cats who are going to be onlys as well as most of our cats live in small social groups.)

I would think that your little one is calling out for her siblings. Yes, some cats are more vocal; but, those kitties will usually talk to you, carry on a conversation, rather than just hollering throughout the house (although they may do that in addition.)

I know my cats call out when they can't find each other. Usually the one they call out for comes running to them rather quickly. The meow is different then when they are calling me, or are hungry, etc.

I really do think most cats do well with a buddy. Your kitten would probably enjoy the company while you are away at work.

 

[tulosai]

I am single, have 6 cats of my own AND work for a rescue. Actually caring for 2 cats (feeding, litter box care, playing, giving them attention...) really is not double the work. The only thing I would suggest is to make sure you are financially able to take either to the vet when necessary.
 

This.  It is NO more work to have two cats than to  have one.  I am single and all by myself, I have never been part of a roommate or husband wife team wit my cats. They play with one another, it is actually half the work.  It maybe takes a few minutes per day longer TOPS to scoop the littterboxes or to feed the cats/wash the bowls. I am WAY happier than most of my friends with one cat since a lot of their cats demand attention like yours (if to a slightly lesser degree). My cats will still love on me but there are also many many times when I am basically ignored for their pouncings and fun with one another.  I really don't have to even play with them daily or every other day (though I do and it makes them happy when I do) and they are still super happy happy happy.

However, make sure you do have money enough to afford two cats as CatPack says.  It is not more work but it is double the cost despite what some people will try to pretend/say.  The only thing you really don't have to double down on is toys.  You will need twice the food, (almost) twice the litter, and twice the money for the vet. If you've got the money, a second cat will make your life sooooooo much better especially when they are still young and have all that energy.

Your friend who says two cats is a lot of freaking work would probably think one was a lot of freaking work too- in fact, more freaking work.  After all, don't you think your one cat is a lot of freaking work???

As for the new cat coming with terrible habits, you should be careful in your selection of a cat.  Pick one who is of a similar age with your cat, who seems to get along at least ok with other cats, and who has no reported aggression or litterbox issues.  It may take a few weeks to introduce the cats and get them to be buddies, but I really do think  after that things will improve, and I am not just saying this because I love cats and think omg! two cats is always better than one, but because I really do think this would improve the situation and make your life better. 

Also, rehoming a 6 month old cat will be hard.  She may still act like a kitten, but she isn't cute like one and she does have a mild behavioral issue :/

Also I still have to psych my cats out before I leave some days by giving them treats so they stay away from the door.  This might just be her being a cat and not her being traumatized you're leaving for what it's worth.

 

[mservant]

Poor you.  It isn't nice when you think your cat isn't happy and don't know what to do.  I hope you find the answer that's right for you both. 

I used to have 2 cats, I got them as kittens and they were sisters.  They got on great for a few years, skirted about each other for a few more, and one bullied the other for a few more after that until she died and left the more vulnerable one to enjoy her old age! 

 The food, litter for 2  (plus trays), and the vet bills multiply by cat but the amount of work playing goes down dramatically, they entertain each other!  

I now have 1 cat and adopted him as a kitten too.  It has taken a lot more human interaction to settle him in, and yes I have to play with him for pretty long periods each day or he starts to bounce off the walls chewing my arm, but that's more about his character as it is that he's on his own. (He has a younger brother who's a lazy boy that sleeps all the time apparently).  He needs at least 3 x half hour frantic play sessions a day plus his nightly antics at some point when I'm sleeping.  He didn't have siblings to play with (his poor mom had to oblige) so didn't cry for them but he did need some reassurance for the first few months when I was out: a Feliway diffuser was a must in the apartment until he was about 9 months old.  He's not a talkative cat but he is very good at expressing himself and he can look so sad and pathetic sometimes.  (I work full time and he was terribly clingy when I came back in and it made me feel really bad).

Whether you have 1 or more cats you can have a vocal, attention seeking, active kitty, or a quiet, shy sleepy one and there's not necessarily any way to tell unless you get to know them well first.  You might also find one or more cats making a dash for the door, I found that one of my girls did this every time the door was open but her sister hardly ever did it, and my current single kitty never does!  Each to their own I guess, every cat has a pursonality.

Try thinking about your kitten a little like having a child: a single child needs lots more play and attention from you but you only have to fund the expenses for 1, each additional child you have they will entertain/fight, groom and nurture each other for a good part of the time but you have to be able to fund the care for each one.  If you decide another cat is going to be the best solution, the fostering to adopt sounds like a sensible option if it's available where you are.  It would give you all a chance to see how you get on before committing.

Good luck, your little kitten sounds lovely and she is still little. I'd try Feliway and give her a little longer to settle in with you before rushing in to anything you're not sure about.

 

[catwoman707]

As I was reading through this thread I did not see anyone mention her being in heat, I didn't see mention of her being spayed, unless I missed it somewhere.

6 months is right on time for her to become sexually mature.

If she is not spayed I suggest doing this asap. You will see a dramatic change in her crying, almost overnight.

If she is in fact spayed, then I would agree wholly to get her a male companion cat. One who she will find comfort in, wear her out with constant playtime, etc.

2 cats is NOT more work, more litterbox clumps in there, but that's basically it!!

Good luck.

 

[catwoman707]

Also, forgot to suggest, if you are unsure, maybe the 2nd cat should be a foster cat, so it is not set in stone that he is yours, but gives you a chance to see how it works for you, and her.

 

[nbrazil]

What has already been said is great, just want to add my 2¢.

Two kittens are easier than one (except for more litter clean up).

When it is just one, you are their entire universe, entire contact with living beings - and kittens are babies, they have a ton of energy and they will focus it all on you. I spent upwards of 30-40 minutes a few times a day to try and tire out my guy - nope. After much consideration (and some good cat counselors) I found another kitten within a few months of his age.... did the careful introductions, and now my problem is solved. They have each other to wear themselves out and I'm left with the loving goodness.

All his neediness is gone and together, they are hysterical to watch. Instead of him ambushing my feet, he plays with her.

The other choice is waiting it out, they usually grow out of it in a year or so, LOL. I wasn't willing to do that, my health has been fragile and so a playmate solved all my problems (plus, it gave a rescue kitten a home).

 

[sanecatlady2]

I am single, have 6 cats of my own AND work for a rescue. Actually caring for 2 cats (feeding, litter box care, playing, giving them attention...) really is not double the work. The only thing I would suggest is to make sure you are financially able to take either to the vet when necessary.

If you are afraid of the long term commitment, look at fostering first. Our rescue works on a "foster-to-adopt" plan to make sure everyone adjusts as expected (we do this with cats who are going to be onlys as well as most of our cats live in small social groups.)

I would think that your little one is calling out for her siblings. Yes, some cats are more vocal; but, those kitties will usually talk to you, carry on a conversation, rather than just hollering throughout the house (although they may do that in addition.)

I know my cats call out when they can't find each other. Usually the one they call out for comes running to them rather quickly. The meow is different then when they are calling me, or are hungry, etc.

I really do think most cats do well with a buddy. Your kitten would probably enjoy the company while you are away at work.

Wow! Ok great, thats what I was looking for, some input on the single people with mutiple cats. I am financially stable to take care of 2 cats, so thats fine. I was just afraid of what would happen if I ended up with two needy cats. Fostering sounds like a great idea, i'll ask my local shelter if they have this option. 

 
This.  It is NO more work to have two cats than to  have one.  I am single and all by myself, I have never been part of a roommate or husband wife team wit my cats. They play with one another, it is actually half the work.  It maybe takes a few minutes per day longer TOPS to scoop the littterboxes or to feed the cats/wash the bowls. I am WAY happier than most of my friends with one cat since a lot of their cats demand attention like yours (if to a slightly lesser degree). My cats will still love on me but there are also many many times when I am basically ignored for their pouncings and fun with one another.  I really don't have to even play with them daily or every other day (though I do and it makes them happy when I do) and they are still super happy happy happy.

However, make sure you do have money enough to afford two cats as CatPack says.  It is not more work but it is double the cost despite what some people will try to pretend/say.  The only thing you really don't have to double down on is toys.  You will need twice the food, (almost) twice the litter, and twice the money for the vet. If you've got the money, a second cat will make your life sooooooo much better especially when they are still young and have all that energy.

Your friend who says two cats is a lot of freaking work would probably think one was a lot of freaking work too- in fact, more freaking work.  After all, don't you think your one cat is a lot of freaking work???

As for the new cat coming with terrible habits, you should be careful in your selection of a cat.  Pick one who is of a similar age with your cat, who seems to get along at least ok with other cats, and who has no reported aggression or litterbox issues.  It may take a few weeks to introduce the cats and get them to be buddies, but I really do think  after that things will improve, and I am not just saying this because I love cats and think omg! two cats is always better than one, but because I really do think this would improve the situation and make your life better. 

Also, rehoming a 6 month old cat will be hard.  She may still act like a kitten, but she isn't cute like one and she does have a mild behavioral issue :/

Also I still have to psych my cats out before I leave some days by giving them treats so they stay away from the door.  This might just be her being a cat and not her being traumatized you're leaving for what it's worth.

I think my friends cats were also fighting a lot so that might have colored her answer...I have to consider that too, if they will like each other. I guess fostering would be an idea to see it would be a good idea. I honestly only wanted one but I guess for both of our sanity maybe two is better. Agreed on rehoming, that was going to be last resort since I didn't really know how to make her happy here.

 
As I was reading through this thread I did not see anyone mention her being in heat, I didn't see mention of her being spayed, unless I missed it somewhere.

6 months is right on time for her to become sexually mature.

If she is not spayed I suggest doing this asap. You will see a dramatic change in her crying, almost overnight.

If she is in fact spayed, then I would agree wholly to get her a male companion cat. One who she will find comfort in, wear her out with constant playtime, etc.

2 cats is NOT more work, more litterbox clumps in there, but that's basically it!!

Good luck.

She is not spayed, she's going to be spayed on monday. But I don't think she's in heat, she doesn't show the symptoms that I saw online (I def looked that up first thing). 

Thank you all for all of your responses, I will see if she is better after being spayed and then if not then I will  try fostering...I didn't really want another cat but it seems like I don't really have a choice. I can wait it out but it will drive me crazy, lol. 

 

[nbrazil]

I really didn't want two cats (which is what two kittens turn into) either. Just one mellow one - which is why I got a Ragdoll. After 3 months of his escalating play aggression and my health issues I had to make a choice. I could not afford another pure bred so I casually watched some shelter sites and then I saw her! A petite ginger (love gingers) but who the foster parent said could rough things up with the big guys!

That is good, my Ragdoll companion was 2 1/2 times her weight at the time! But by following the instructions found on this site and taking my time the introduction went very well... for him! She was a bit overwhelmed with his clumsy play and made SURE he knew. Thereby teaching him the manners he hadn't learned because I adopted him too soon (lesson learned).

After the successful introduction, it only took a few days for them to be playing more appropriately and cuddling. I think the idea of fostering is excellent, but at 6 months (same age as mine when I brought her in), things are more likely to go very well.

Yes, it is a lot LESS work for me now, and a lot more fun. Instead of trying to bite and bunny kick me when I pet him (play aggression), he just rolls back  his head and purrs... he doesn't need me to be that part of his universe, he has her.

As for gender - I think the official stance is it doesn't matter what you get, the personality/character is more important. I just got a female because I prefer them (at the time I was ready, only male kittens were available at the cattery I went to).

Speaking of health issues... pet insurance is pretty durn cheap. Policies can kick in after 24 hours for accidents and two weeks (to rule out pre-existing conditions). There is a deductible. So you spend reasonable vet check up fees, but are covered for an emergency. I feel better for it, but to each their own. Mine cost $15/month or $158 for a year. 

So do what you think you need to enjoy her and provide a home in which she feels confident and relaxed - the dividend you will be rewarded with are priceless.

http://s1282.photobucket.com/user/NBrazil/media/IMG_0920_zps1f6af289.mp4.html

 

[catspaw66]

I am also a single person with multiple cats. I have 5 ladies and they love to snuggle with me and each other. Two cats ARE more work than one cat. But the difference is so small that the company they keep each other and the entertainment value of watching multiple cats far outweighs the miniscule extra effort.

As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

GEDC1492.JPG

• catspaw66
• Oct 10, 2013

That is Sheba washing Julie with Sugar using Julie's butt for a pillow.

Forgive me for posting my pic in your thread. I am not trying to hijack it.

 

[fhicat]

I think you have gotten some great advice and there's not much more I can add, but I just want to reiterate the one vs two cats thing.

Kittens are very playful. Your kitten seems to have been separated from her mother not too early and have been with other cats, so we can rule out social issues. They are a ball of neverending energy and it is almost always a good idea to get a playmate for them. At the shelter where I volunteer, if a customer adopts a kitten, they can adopt a second one for free, and we always encourage people to adopt kittens in pairs. Needing to play a lot is the main reason.

Going from no cats to one cat is a much bigger adjustment/work than going from one to two cats. If you pick a good match buddy for your kitty, it'll not be that much harder to care for them. In fact, if they get along well, you don't need to play with kitty as much, and they'll be less destructive when you're not around.

May I suggest that you try fostering cats from your local shelter? Fostering lets you "try" out different cat personalities that complement your kitten. You can decide whether a second cat is worth it once you foster and can understand your needs as a pet parent. Or maybe by the time you are done fostering, your kitten would have grown into a mellow cat who just wants to be at your lap all day!