I'm sad about Christmas this year. Well, I guess it really started last year...
We've always had a very special family evening on Christmas Eve in my family. We have a wonderful dinner, which includes the family tradition of Oyster Stew, and then exchanging presents and opening them one by one to share in the fun of everyone's gifts. It's really a special night for me, and one I look forward to all year, and ever since my sister married this husband (who I don't particularly care for, but that's another post...) this is the only time in the year that I see her.
Last year Earl insisted that we go back to Illinois to spend Christmas with his family. It was the first time ever in my life I wasn't with my own family. As if that wasn't depressing enough, his family did next to nothing for Christmas so I felt doubly depressed for having missed the special time with my family.
This year, Earl started in early about Christmas at my sister's house (it was moved there after Mom passed away, and Earl doesn't like the BIL either), and about them making concessions to make it easier for us. OK, there goes that tradition of dinner then gifts. Fine, I talked with my father and we changed arrangements to do that. Then I talked with my father this weekend about Christmas Eve when he told me that my sister was having other guests over on Christmas Eve. I guess the whole "family" thing just got thrown out the window too. If I wanted to go to a party, I could go to a bar to spend the evening with people I don't even know.
I'm just getting pretty down and depressed about the whole thing. It's like the last decent Christmas was 2 years ago, and that's it. I just want our traditions to carry on, and not be lost. But I think it's just too late for that.
Am I being horribly selfish about all this? Part of me doesn't even care if I am.
As you all grew up and moved on with your lives, did you have to face this type of reality that Christmas just couldn't be magical anymore? It was magical for 30 years, I just don't understand how that can just be thrown away like this...
We've always had a very special family evening on Christmas Eve in my family. We have a wonderful dinner, which includes the family tradition of Oyster Stew, and then exchanging presents and opening them one by one to share in the fun of everyone's gifts. It's really a special night for me, and one I look forward to all year, and ever since my sister married this husband (who I don't particularly care for, but that's another post...) this is the only time in the year that I see her.
Last year Earl insisted that we go back to Illinois to spend Christmas with his family. It was the first time ever in my life I wasn't with my own family. As if that wasn't depressing enough, his family did next to nothing for Christmas so I felt doubly depressed for having missed the special time with my family.
This year, Earl started in early about Christmas at my sister's house (it was moved there after Mom passed away, and Earl doesn't like the BIL either), and about them making concessions to make it easier for us. OK, there goes that tradition of dinner then gifts. Fine, I talked with my father and we changed arrangements to do that. Then I talked with my father this weekend about Christmas Eve when he told me that my sister was having other guests over on Christmas Eve. I guess the whole "family" thing just got thrown out the window too. If I wanted to go to a party, I could go to a bar to spend the evening with people I don't even know.
I'm just getting pretty down and depressed about the whole thing. It's like the last decent Christmas was 2 years ago, and that's it. I just want our traditions to carry on, and not be lost. But I think it's just too late for that.
Am I being horribly selfish about all this? Part of me doesn't even care if I am.
As you all grew up and moved on with your lives, did you have to face this type of reality that Christmas just couldn't be magical anymore? It was magical for 30 years, I just don't understand how that can just be thrown away like this...