Siamese female, my dream cat, is so mean :( so sad.

[kavita amrita]

I wanted a SIamese for soooo long, finally my wish came true. but, i am so sad, because my 9 month girl Siamese is rarely affectionate. She growls and hisses at me a lot. And bites, too, although usually not hard. When she was a kitten she was very sweet, and then when she was about 7 mo old she started biting a lot. (I think the man I got her from let her bite and play with his hands as a baby.) Then, I had to go away for work for 6 weeks. My husband and son took care of her and were home a lot with her. When I got home she was very indifferent to me, and I think she was mad because I left. She likes my husband and never hisses at him. Like I said, I am so upset about it. Any advice?

ps- she is not fixed yet. and she is an indoor cat, but she tries to escape, and does sometimes, but we take her back in right away.

 

[carolina]

Hi
The very first thing to do is to fix her...... And please do NOT declaw her if the vet suggests to do so - the biting will get worse, in addition to being cruel (I know you didn't mention, but just in case you mention it is a mean kitty and the vet suggests it - it can happen).
Do you play with her? Play does wonders - Do you have a wand toy? Try playing with a wand toy.
Don't push yourself to her - let her come to you.

Also, try do do the "good" things from now on - you should be the one doing the feedings, for example......
One good trick a friend of mine who does rescue taught me was this: go to a run and break a sweat - I know it is winter....... But :lol3: You can try to get a pajamas, or something you wear all the time instead if the running idea doesn't work for you.
Get the shirt and rub all over the kitty..... Then fold it and place it under the food bowl.
You are essentially introducing yourself to the kitty, and making her realte you to a very good thing - FOOD.

Do this often, every few days or so.

Spend time with her, alone, in the room. Just sit down close to her.... Don't look straight at her eyes. If you look at her, blink very slowly..... opening and closing your eyes..... keep bliking your eye very slowly. That means I love you. Yawn. Yawing means I am not threatening you....... Then just grab a book and read out loud with a soft voice......

The more you do this, the more she will be comfortable with you.

When you approach her, try to approach her with a wand toy. Then depending on how she accepts that, extend your hand.......

Do these steps little by little......

Two of my cats came to me as either shy - Lucky, or Feral - Hope.
It took me almost a month to even touch Lucky...... She was very very shy...... I was SO frustrated and heartbroken
But by following these steps she has become a super loving girl - I can do whatever I want to her - turn her upside down, carry her like a baby, kiss her belly... She is the most gentle, loving, trusting, and attention-seeking kitty you can possibly imagine.
Hope is still skittish, but she is nonetheless very much a loving kitty :heart3:

It is all a matter of working with them to gain their trust - to show them you are not a threat. Once they see that, you have their :heart3:
The name of the game is patience and perseverance - I know it is frustrating..... But be patient..... Give her time and love.....

Meanwhile we will be here to help you along -
Welcome to TCS

 

[orientalslave]

Cats don't to 'mad at you because you left'.  They are very bright animals but they are not humans.  They are also all different, some are more affectionate than others.

Interestingly the age at which she seems to have changed is the age of sexual maturity. 

PLEASE get her spayed ASAP - entire she will be hormonal, sexually frustrated, at risk of pyometra (very serious infection of the uterus) and at increasing risk of breast cancer.  She may also give you the slip one of these days and come back pregnant - it might only take one brief mating, a matter of seconds rather than minutes, for a cat to get pregnant.

Siamese are also active, intelligent breeds.  Do you play with her?  Does she have an interesting house to live in with lots of high places, hidey holes, things to scratch?  Are there any treats she especially likes?  If there are, only you should give them to her.  Also, remember that looking directly at a cat is a threat in their language.  If you are desparate for her to cuddle up to you ignoring her can be one of the best ways to get it to happen.  Think of how a cat spots the person in the room who doesn't like cats and makes a bee-line for them...

 

[Anne]

You got some excellent advice by the previous posters. Adding a link to our article about feline aggression -

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cat-aggression-toward-people

 

[kavita amrita]

Carolina- thank you so much for your helpful post. I will try all that. I didn't know a lot of what you mentioned. Esp the eyes and yawns.
I need to play with her more, for sure and get her some more toys and a house etc. we have a small house so I haven't got her a cat house but I can get creative.
And thanks oriental
Slave for your suggestions as well.
I really appreciate the help.

 

[catfella]

Cats like routine.

Our oldest kitty, he is only 18 months, has been with us for two weeks now. The day we rescued him from the local shelter, he was so affectionate. He leapt right into my arms and snuggled up against me and literally let me pet him for half an hour and carry him around. The very instant we got home, he was a different cat. He leapt from the box and literally would not approach me - AT ALL - for days.

I knew better, from reading about cats and cat behavior, not to take it "personally". He is not a human. He is a cat. So his reasons for not wanting to be near me or have me approach him were "cat reasons" as opposed to "human reasons". So, instead of forcing myself on him. I decided to show him through the development of a routine, that I am his guardian and caretaker. Each morning and afternoon, he litter box is scooped at the same time. I place a treat in the same place for him every night. I make a certain kissy-smoochy sound when I am entering the room to let him know that I am coming. I also just sit across from him and talk to him (about absolute nonsense), but I get the "squinty eyes of approval" (as my daughter calls them, lol).

Slowly, but surely, he is warming up to me. I still haven't picked him up yet (in over two weeks) as his body language makes it clear that he simply does not want me to. However, he is coming around more and more and talking to me (meowing like a conversation) and actually letting me pet him and brush him.

I guess my point is not to project your desires onto your cat. Instead, develop a routine that shows you are a caring entity in her life and that will promote her coming to you.

 

[gardenandcats]

Having been owned by many Siamese cats for the past 35 years. One thing I have found is that they tend to bond with one person. Not all of them but most of them do..Getting her fixed ASAP would sure help.Springs around the corner and she at the age to go into heat at anytime...Do not De claw her!!!!! Play with her but pay atention to her signs of I have had enough back off.