Shyboy Purred This Morning!!

[6kittymama]

So Shyboy is still shy and has been in my office with Pepper the other boy (who is by no means shy at all). Shyboy has been coming out on his terms as I work and will play with wand toys from under the chair and slowly works his way out to continue to play. He is still super skittish and I can’t touch him. Yesterday I moved Pepper into my bedroom with his 2 sisters. It has been hard to do focus play and attention with Shyboy because funloving Pepper Hogge’s it all. Anyways after the move Shyboy and I played multiple times yesterday on his terms of course. Then last night I could hear him playing with toys in the office. Today I am working again and I was laying with my face at the chair entrance and stroking him under the chair with a feather wand. He started purring loudly!! I have never heard him purr ever. He was purring awAy and inching closer and closer to me. He was literally 2 inches from my face per his choice. And then he hissed at me and he scooted back. Trying not to focus that he hissed at me but Wow! His purr was great!

 

[rubysmama]

That sounds like a giant step forward, followed by a baby step backwards.
So a definite good thing.

 

[kittychick]

WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!! That first purr is heaven, isn't it!!!!!! I'm so proud of you both - - kitty and human - - for taking such time and making such great strides. WAY TO GO!

I remember one of the first pieces of advice I got when I joined this wonderful site was also one of the BEST pieces of advice - - and I try to remind myself of this every day that I'm working on socializing a kitty (young or old, feral or just scared). And the advice was: to not look at socializing kitties as a frustrating process, but to look at it as a way for ME (the socializer) to truly learn real patience. Just that idea of turning the perspective around has made a big difference in how I approach socializing kitties - - when I get really frustrated and upset (as I think most of us do!) I try to remember that -- and it helps!

I also try to tell anyone new to socializing (and also remind myself periodically!) - - as rubysmama did above -- that it's almost always two steps forward, one step back (purrrrrr purrrrrr HISS - - - purrrrrr purrrrr HISS!). But every purr makes the occasional hiss worth it, doesn't it? I'm SO glad Shyboy is making GREAT strides so quickly now. Obviously the combo of moving him into a bigger room where you spend more time with him - and he has kitty company (particularly kitty company that shows him you're a nice person who brings love AND treats!) has really helped him turn the corner. I see lots more purrs in your future!!!

 

[6kittymama]

Well after such a promising day yesterday the little stinker wanted nothing to do with me today. I did the same as yesterday. Laid down with my face at the underchair opening and talked to him and he hissed. I tried to pet him with the same feather wand and he hissed. So I put my hand under just a bit not even close enough to touch him and was throwing him some treats and he leaned in and swatted my hand drew blood and hissed again. Like you all said 2 steps forward and then back but ugg. I know it’s not his fault but I can’t help being mad at him. Should I leave him alone today? Try again later?

 

[maggiedemi]

I tamed my two ferals by teaching them several words. Once we could communicate with each other, they stopped being scared. They love my excited voice, when I try to make things sound exciting.

 

[kittychick]

I'm so sorry@ Even though I know it's going to happen with virtually 99.9% of my socializations - - it's never easy to have the "high" of a great day, and then have it followed by a low day in the land of socialization right away. It is a rollercoaster, but 9 times out of 10, it ends up being very well worth it.

Another thing that I try to remember - - -his fear and quick reaction based on that fear is what kept him alive outside! It's got to be hard for him to break a habit that's been ingrained in him from day #1 - that first he should hide, and then he should show strength, to stay alive. It really does help me to remember that when I've got a tough kitten - - and that I'm GLAD he had those abilities, or I would never have known him!

I would say don't stop coming in the room - but give him a bit of space for a day. Keep talking to him. And maybe just try one thing at a time next time - instead of trying multiple things. Trust me - I know it's SUPER hard when you feel you've made a real breakthrough to not jump to doing other "I love you" things. Just take them one at a time - - - but do keep going in, talking, playing with his roomie (again - it's SO good for him to see another kitty interact very positively with you!), and even setting out a food treat you know he loves (like Gerber chicken baby food). Don't push it near him - - just set it near his food. It's that reminder that you "bring the good stuff" - -- it's important!

And hold on to the wonderful purr you got - -- you'll get it again soon.

 

[WoodstockGirl]

Wonderful progress! Little steps eventually get you to where you're going!

 

[6kittymama]

Thank you guys! I gave him his space yesterday. I was off too so no extended time in my office as I had catchup chores to do around the house etc. back working today so taking it slow with him. Started by just talking to him this am with my face besides the chair opening. He didn’t hiss! Pushed his food back there he didn’t hiss so I praised him and let him be. Stopped and talked with him again just now and no hiss so pushed a few treats back u set there on a plate and no hiss so more praise and let him be. He has been out walking around my office twice so far. Currently he is looking out the window. Oh and also started the rescue remedy drops on his treats last night and on his breakfast this am. Don’t know if you caught that I moved his brother in my bedroom with his 2 sisters so it’s just Shyboy currently in my office. Brother Pepper was making it very hard to get my work done as he likes to lay on my keyboard and erase my work. Plus it was hard to have good interaction and play with shyboy as Pepper would steal the toys etc. my office has glass window pane doors and faces into our great room and I have 6 other cats he can and does watch thru the panel and they interact through the glass and under the door. So he can see us loving on them.

 

[6kittymama]

He just jumped up and was on my desk!

 

[WoodstockGirl]

Sounds like he's coming around. It'll be an avalanche, all at once he'll be your best friend.

 

[6kittymama]

I hope so but i am not getting my hopes up yet...

 

[kittychick]

I'm a firm believer in slooooooowwwww is best (and in the end - - usually VERY worth it!).

LOVED seeing the pics!!!!!!!

Plus a "battle" won with patience is extra satifying.

 

[6kittymama]

Well Crud! I have had 2 really good days with Shyboy and attributed it to the rescue remedy. But this am he was playing with me and a toy and turned around and strutted away with his tail up and I got a good look and it looks like Shyboy is a GIRL! Could she be being more friendly and visible because she is in heat? She is not pacing or vocal but does have her tail up when she walks. She rolls on her back at the door when the other kitties are on the other side but I though that was just playing?? What do you guys think? I’m no expert on sexing cats but she has a circle and a slit under it. Could she be in heat and not be vocal? She has a spay app April 2 and all my other cats are fixed.

 

[maggiedemi]

Could she be in heat and not be vocal?

It sure sounds like it! Is she doing the butt dance? Crouching down with butt in the air and legs treading in place?

 

[kittychick]

You're fairly sure Shyboy hasn't ever been fixed - -as in long ago? BC if you were able to get a good look - and Shyboy is a boy - you should see testicles (some are bigger than others - - but you should be able to see them). I'm sure you've seen tons of these drawings/photos online - - but I've attached one below that I often show people what to look for on their kitten/cat to know if it's male or female.

So....if Shyboy IS a girl, it does sound like heat behavior. And yes - - they're often more friendly and willing to come out and be more visible (it's that species survival thing of - usually - "mating trumps fear of being eaten"), and add in the sudden rolling near the door with the kitties on the other side, and it does sounds like she's likely in heat. Have you seen any little drops of blood anywhere? And, in my experience, not all female cats in heat are vocal -- -- quite a few are, but definitely not all cats are. And sometimes those that are only make little trill sounds, not yowling. But Shyboy's behavior does sound like I'd be putting my bet in the "Shyboy's a girl and Shyboy's in heat."

But don't let that get you down111111 Luckily - - and this is a biggie - -she can't get pregnant now that she's inside, with no intact cats around! The other plus is that often not all of the breakthrough friendly behavior will necessarily go away. Shyboy may take a few steps back, but I really believe those steps forward will still keep coming. And - this is just my personal experience, nothing more - those few days post-spay days where she'll be a little slower, when she'll need you as a caretaker - - the fact you cared for her while she felt rotten will stick somewhere in her kitty brain.

Keep us posted!!!!

 

[6kittymama]

Thank you! Positive she has never been fixed. She is semiferal along with her siblings but they came around so have already been fixed. I really was hoping she would be a boy. That would have been so much easier to monitory after surgery. I am 100 percent positive I will not be able to check her incision after the spay. She will not let me. Don’t even know how I will get pain meds in her. It’s going to be a nightmare. Praying I am wrong

 

[6kittymama]

It sure sounds like it! Is she doing the butt dance? Crouching down with butt in the air and legs treading in place?

She is not doing the butt dance just has her tail up?? No crouching and my office has 2 windows and she is not trying to get out. Does not seem frantic at all.

 

[Willowy]

Yes, females do get friendlier when they're in heat or close to it. It's my personal observation that there are more male strays/ferals than females, and I think that's why---sexually mature females get friendlier and get adopted, whereas sexually mature males get less friendly and leave home (if they have a home).

Do you have a large dog crate? If so, keep her in that for at least a week after spaying, providing she isn't hurting herself trying to get out.

Wear leather gloves, and gently lift her by the scruff once a day to check her incision. Usually they recover just fine but it's a good idea to look at it every day anyway. I don't think young cats need painkillers (besides the one given right after surgery) most of the time but if you prefer to use them you could also administer the painkillers at that time.

 

[azpops]

Just an aside; even if he's a she. I'd say keep the name "shyboy", great name!

BTW, how do you get by with your paper work being all scribbled? Can anyone read it? In my world, I'd get all kinds of grief if my (although short) reports were that messy!


















OK, I know it's a cover up for the photo. Can't let Shyboy have all the fun! ...

 

[kittychick]

Hopefully this'll be easier than you're anticipating (fingers crossed!).

When you take her in for the spay, talk to them about pain meds and your concern that Shyboy + you + trying to give a pain pill = a trip to the hospital for stitches (for you) and one very terrified animal (her - - -but perhaps you too!)!!!!!!!!! Seriously - when you drop her off, I'm sure they'll be busy, but calmly express your real concern that pilling her for pain will be impossible, as will any real handling to check an incision, etc. If they normally do give follow-up pain medication, ask if they can give it in a form that you can disguise (our spay/neuter clinic - - and both of the vet offices we go to for our "non-ferals" give -- - give them a fairly long-lasting pain med before you even pick them up. So she'll likely already have pain meds on board.

Our clinic doesn't give a second dose of pain meds for boys (generally they bop around half a day later like nothing ever happened -I always laugh when they say "just keep them from running, jumping or playing for at least 48 hours- makes me wonder if anyone at the clinic has ever HAD a kitten!?!?!). If more pain meds are needed beyond what they've already given them, everywhere we go, any further pain med doses are generally given to me pre-loaded in syringes (without the needle on it). Then you can just squirt the pre-loaded dose of liquid in something the kitty usually considers a big treat (we usually go right to the Gerbers Chicken Baby Food Stage 2 - we mix the med in the small amount of Gerbers, and they're never the wiser! But they ARE alot sleepier and happier.

We bring our newly TNR'd kitties home to recoup - when possible - in a giant dog crate. We use a huge one - - and we put a litter box, food/water, and a large cat carrier in it w/door removed, with something soft to sleep on - - although no towels (I once had a feral get a claw caught on the loops in a towel - - lemme just say it wasn't pretty for anyone at our house that day!). I cover BELOW the crate with newspaper (since they usually rip the paper up that's inside the crate) and then more newspaper in the bottom of the crate. We then cover the whole dog crate with a blanket - with just part of the front uncovered, so they really feel safe while recouping from surgery.

I do realize your situation's a little different than my "usual" TNR cases, since Shyboy's already been in your office. I'd be tempted to try the big crate for the first few days (if you have it) if only bc it's easier to monitor how she's doing (you'll be able to easily see any blood or seepage if there's any issue with her stitches w/o getting near her to try to handle her). Even without the crate - - she's getting used to your office, so I'd put some newspaper and a good blanket where you've seen her seem to spend most of her time (like under that chair you've mentioned). I've never worried about physically checking stitches and handling them -- - since that'll often cause more issues than it helps. I just keep a close watch for any blood/puss/etc. - - and watch to make sure she's seeming as "normal" as possible.

But don't be afraid to ask ANYTHING at the vet -- - -making sure they get that you won't be handling her to give her pills, etc.

I think you and Shyboy'll come out of this just fine! You've obviously done a WONDERFUL job with him/um her till now - - - and I can't see that changing.