Shy Cat Or Feral?

[CattleHouse]

Hello! (Sorry if this is long)

My name is Cain and my partner recently brought a cat(Moo-moo) into our home from a shelter (Which I'm cool with, I was there when our cat was adopted). The main issue is he's afraid of us, and I thought it wouldn't hurt to reach out to a community of cat lovers for advice.

Moo-Moo's background (Male, 4 years old, shelter rescue):
From what we can discern he may have been friendly street cat that was brought to a shelter. We were told he was adopted before but family only gave him 1-2 days to acclimate then introduced him to the whole house and another cat. He was then returned to the shelter again and we adopted him.

Our background:
Two humans live in the apartment, my partner and I. We have an office set up in the main room and a bedroom in the other. I work from home and stay here 24/7, while he goes out to a part-time job.

I had a cat that I moved in with from across the country and I had him for 18 years. This cat name was Winter* and he was a really relaxed, confident cat. Didn't mind being touched or picked up. He ever let me trim his nails on a regular basis. Very chill cat.

*In short, Winter passed away earlier this year, I'm just mentioning him so you know our cat experience.
**Also I just like talking about him.

Moving on.

Here's Moo-Moo's history with us:
At the Shelter: Moo-moo hid in a box with some towels draped over it. My partner was the one to pet him first and Moo-moo came out and enjoyed the petting. I did noticed he crouched/crawled when he moved around the room for pets. I assumed he was being submissive because another cat (that did not like cats) tried to swipe at him as he passed.

In our Home: The 1st month he would hiss at us if we came too close too fast. Hide from us actively and overall, stayed in the bedroom and was on constant alert.

2nd Month: This is when some progress was being made. We took some advice from the cat shelter about giving treats, trying to play with him, and petting him with a soft cat-charmer toy. At one point I event got to pet him with my hand! Gasp! That ended pretty quickly, however, when he began to scratch. I suspect it's because he ran out of toys.
See, the main trouble is, he won't play with us at all. We wave all kinds of toys around in all kinds of ways, he just doesn't want to play. But at night, he will carry around mouse toys, throw them off the cat tower (I assume lion king style) and just tear them apart! So at one point all the toys were gone and he took to taking plush toys off the shelves lol. I made him new toys which I'm constantly repairing.

Also around this time he started to venture out into the main room and hide under the futon.
Issue with that is we couldn't interact with him to pet him, give him treats or get his attention. He also began to sneeze, so I cleaned under the futon and blocked it off. (shortly after the sneezing stopped)

Now:
- I've tried giving him treats from my hand, but he just, smacks it out of my hand... lol
He lunges to attack my hand if I hold it out to him calmly to sniff. I really am trying to move slow and calm around him without staring. IDK what happened between him and human hands.
- I am trying to get him used to the cat-charmer again so I can try petting him with it like before(before he'd lean into it and really enjoy a good pet from it). But he just attacks it defensively now (not playfully).
- His new spot is under the window between our desks. But as soon as we show up to work he runs off in a hurry.
- I can get him to slow blink and calm down. But any sound can send him back into alert.
- He has a cat tower, even a floor to ceiling tower (that he doesn't use), and a window bed. Overall, he seems to be a "bush cat" and prefers to hide under things and in areas we can't see him in. But I'm afraid hiding is just feeding into his insecurities.
- in the day he usually hangs out in the bedroom, at night he runs around in the living room. (Lately he has been coming out into the living room when we're working, but is nervous doing so)
- He has a weird OCD thing about his litter. Whenever he uses it, he obsessively buries his business when he's done. For full minutes he's just sweeping litter over it till there's a large mound.

Anyway.
My concern is he may be Feral? Or just extremely shy. Whenever I research his behavior he seems to fit in both categories. It's just strange that he was really into being petted at the shelter.
I'm open to any advice or thoughts. For now we're just trying to spend time with him and give positive reinforcement when we can.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! Thank you for hanging in there with him!

Have you tried just sitting on the floor and working, or even reading to him?
Try some music, classical harp music can be surprisingly helpful.

Potential Stressors In Cats - The Ultimate Checklist

16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

 

[Furballsmom]

There is also musicforcats . com

 

[aliceneko]

Moo Moo's behaviour sounds like Toffee and Fudge's when we first got them. They were semi-feral before we adopted them from the shelter, and took a while to come round to us - though I sat by them everyday and tried to encourage play by dangling feather wands towards them and playing with toy mice with them. Fast forward two years, and they're happy and sociable lap cats.

 

[susanm9006]

I don’t think he is feral, not even sure at this point that you could consider him semi feral. He probably wouldn’t have accepted pets at the shelter if that was the case. He possibly is just a cat that is extremely cautious or nervous and that makes him slow to feel safe in a new environment. He may also have been picked up or captured and so is afraid of humans coming close with their hands. But the fact that he is starting to come into rooms while you are present is a good sign.

The best way to gain his trust is to ignore him for the most part. You can talk to him, or set down a treat a distance from you but otherwise just let him come to you when he feels safe enough to do so. That could be in a week or it could take months. And I wouldn’t worry about him not playing with you. Get him a big package of mice and a variety of other toys so he has plenty to tear apart. I think he will stop that when the novelty of the toy wears off. Since you know he likes the mice, try taking some of his favorite ones and gently tossing them. He may forget about being nervous and decide to go after them.

 

[Catlover579]

Hi I think he is just shy and needs some more time to earn your trust but once he does it will be worthwhile! When I adopted my cat, It took a while for him to open up and I was actually beginning to accept he might never want to be petted or let me pick it up. But you just need to give him space and let him come to you in his own terms. This doesn't mean you should ignore him of course but just don't force it. Talk to him and playing a lot really helps! It helps you bond with toys and gets them to come out of their shell more. Playing makes them more confident.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Some cats only like to play in certain ways or with certain toys, like only with mice or with plushie toys. Some like to play by themselves; some cannot seem to play unless a human is involved. The best thing to do might be to just let him "be himself" and be happy that, so far, he is playing a little. It's a great sign that he is trying to come into the living room while you work, even if he is nervous about it. Maybe by ignoring him when he does that, he might begin to feel more confident. Doesn't mean that you can't talk to him while he's in the room, but maybe you don't make any movements towards him. And remember when you try giving treats via your hands or sticking your hand out for him to sniff, he's already told you a few times: "dude, no hands!"

I think a lot of cats like making big piles of litter in their boxes, some get very industrious -- I thought it was a normal thing!

 

[CattleHouse]

Furballsmom aliceneko susanm9006 Catlover579 PushPurrCatPaws

Thank you everyone for your advice! I admit, we haven't spending one on one time with him that often. So we'll definitely be better about that and hang out with him more often. I have some books to finish reading anyway, lol

Hearing that there are similar experiences among some of you is also encouraging. I look forward to the day that Moo-moo is happy to cuddle us, but in the meantime I'll give him space, patience and treats.

I'll try tossing his favorite toys and find more of them. We realize he really likes his pink toys and plays with them more often for some reason.

Right now he's resting right behind my desk chair as I sit. And I'm happy he's trusting enough to rest out here with us! Hopefully I'll be able to bring a good update in the future!

Thank you again everyone!
Here's a photo of Moo-moo sleeping while I was sitting and working near him the other day.

 

[susanm9006]

He certainly looks very relaxed in that picture!

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh my goodness, he's gorgeous!!