We need some advice. We have a 6 month old kitty, Rex, that is basically the perfect cat (except when he jumps on the kitchen counters...Lol). My husband and I live in a small house that is not exactly cat friendly, but Rex has learned to leave most of our "no no's" alone. We work full time and like to travel and hire a pet sitter to check on Rex daily when we travel. Rex is spoiled and has many toys, a cat tower, a climbing post, and many scratchers. We even take Rex outside on walks with a harness and leash and interact with him a lot when we are home. He is very laid back and affectionate. He lives a good life, but many say we should give him a cat sibling so he will be completely fulfilled. We really don't desire to have a second cat, but would do it for Rex and would, of course, love any cat that is a good fit for us. We tried a sweet, playful, busy cat from a foster and she started bullying and attacking Rex. Rex was very intimidated by her and became stressed with her in the house. We followed all of the recommendations, but had to return her as we were scared of a cat injury occurring or damage to our house (in "her" room). Should we try again? Can a single indoor cat be happy without a cat buddy? Thanks for your advice.
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Should We Get a Second Cat?
- Thread starter niko.f
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Rex is handsome and gorgeous.
Yes, definitely get a second cat.
Just make sure to match him up to Rex's personality, too.
Because Rex is so young, then getting another playful young cat/kitten would be okay.
They would get into 'young cat shenanigans'....and run and play all over the home. You'd have to teach, and 'cat proof' the home, as you have already done with Rex.
If you were to choose an older cat, that would be okay, too, but easier if the cat was already used to having young cats around.
Though I know that many members here, do have single cats, too.
I just know that two cats are way more easier on you...since you don't have to spend as much time or energy in playing with them, as you would...if you have a single cat. But again it does depend upon each individual cat's personality, too.
The female from the foster above, might have been bullying, ...but she might have also been vigorously playing and establishing 'dominance' within the household. In the initial stages, cats use play, and posturing, ...as getting to know each other...and getting accustomed to their 'new surroundings'. Everything is new for them, so it takes many weeks to get used to everything.
Sending you loads of luck, in whatever you decide.
My vote is for a second cat....for Rex.
Yes, definitely get a second cat.
Just make sure to match him up to Rex's personality, too.
Because Rex is so young, then getting another playful young cat/kitten would be okay.
They would get into 'young cat shenanigans'....and run and play all over the home. You'd have to teach, and 'cat proof' the home, as you have already done with Rex.
If you were to choose an older cat, that would be okay, too, but easier if the cat was already used to having young cats around.
I'm not sure about the 'single indoor cat being happy without a cat buddy'...since I always see cats as more happy when they have a buddy, to spend their days with. More entertaining, mind stimulation, exercise, etc.
Though I know that many members here, do have single cats, too.
I just know that two cats are way more easier on you...since you don't have to spend as much time or energy in playing with them, as you would...if you have a single cat. But again it does depend upon each individual cat's personality, too.
The female from the foster above, might have been bullying, ...but she might have also been vigorously playing and establishing 'dominance' within the household. In the initial stages, cats use play, and posturing, ...as getting to know each other...and getting accustomed to their 'new surroundings'. Everything is new for them, so it takes many weeks to get used to everything.
Sending you loads of luck, in whatever you decide.
My vote is for a second cat....for Rex.
Rex is adorable! So Remi was our first cat (in my profile picture) and we got him as a kitten. He is the best little cat. We had him for about three months before we got our second cat RiRi. We wanted a second cat, whereas I know you said you would just be getting another cat basically to give Rex a buddy. We didn't adopt Remi because he is a hypoallergenic mix and I wanted to make sure I was going to be able to live with him without a reaction. After living with him for awhile I was hopeful that we could get another cat that wasn't hypoallergenic (I made sure to spend a lot of time with RiRi before adopting her). We had hopes that they would get along because RiRi was very cuddly and had another cat in her enclosure that she got along great with so we were thinking she may get along well with Remi. Well that has not been the case so far... Its been about two weeks since we got her so I know there is still potential for improvement but it hasn't been easy. Luckily Remi hasn't been too effected by her, as he is actually the one who hisses/growls (he doesn't do it every time he sees her but it happens often). He is 5 months old so we were thinking he may not be too territorial yet but we are finding that he is having a hard time accepting her. The first time we did the introduction process it lasted about 3-4 days. They were fine for the first couple of days and then the hissing was more frequent and RiRi was basically just hiding (its sad because we could tell she wanted to be by us but would just go elsewhere because of Remi). Now we are doing the process over again and its been about 4 days and we are now just letting them eat on opposite sides of the door with the door cracked open. RiRi is three years old. Her previous owner could no longer care for her and she was adopted once before us but that didn't work out because they had loud dogs. I think thats why it's been especially hard to build trust with her and it may be easier if she was the only cat in our household. Thats why I am skeptical of people getting a second cat unless they are littermates or you get them at the same time. If you have a great dynamic with your current cat and you yourself don't really want a second one then I wouldn't get one. The most likely way for a second cat to work out would be to get one that is a young kitten or the same age as Rex. I really wanted to adopt because I know how great it is but quickly realized there are many more challenges when adopting a cat (unless you are adopting a young kitten). As said above I do also think cats getting along is all about personality. Of course you want to match your cats personality with the new cat that you are getting but this is harder said than done. When he brought RiRi home her personality/behavior totally changed because she was no longer comfortable and was not used to her surroundings. Also two cats aren't always easier on the owners, depending on how they get along (if you have to separate them or survey them all the time it can be hard to make sure your spending equal amounts of time with them - I am talking about our current situation which Im hoping will get better but yes it hasn't been ideal). I think sometimes you get lucky with a second cat and their personality gets along great with the other and sometimes you get unlucky. I just wouldn't want anyone to be stuck like us and feel guilty about giving the cats equal attention if they can't be by each other or feel bad because one cat always is hiding due to the other one. BUT I know this is not the case for many and I love to hear the success stories! And also think about Rexs personality. Is he always playing (I know they do this a lot when their young) but for example Remi gets playful here and there and I can tell when he needs to let some energy out but he will also nap for hours during the day wether we are here or not. So I wouldn't feel bad if you are concerned about what Rex is doing while you're gone. Remi pretty much does the same wether we are here or not (besides obviously playing with him whenever we are here). Unless he is really energetic then you would maybe want to get another cat but of course they get less playful as they get older and a lot of cats (kind of like Remi) enjoy being center of attention lol. I would just really think about what it best for you and your family. Rex will be happy regardless 
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Thank you for your detailed reply. You are the first person who has said we are NOT bad pet parents if we only have one, very spoiled, cat. He did seem curious and playful with the new kitty until she started being aggressive. I feel he would like another kitty if it was nice to him, but I know he is also happy as a clam with us giving him loads of attention. We are still trying to decide....Rex is adorable! So Remi was our first cat (in my profile picture) and we got him as a kitten. He is the best little cat. We had him for about three months before we got our second cat RiRi. We wanted a second cat, whereas I know you said you would just be getting another cat basically to give Rex a buddy. We didn't adopt Remi because he is a hypoallergenic mix and I wanted to make sure I was going to be able to live with him without a reaction. After living with him for awhile I was hopeful that we could get another cat that wasn't hypoallergenic (I made sure to spend a lot of time with RiRi before adopting her). We had hopes that they would get along because RiRi was very cuddly and had another cat in her enclosure that she got along great with so we were thinking she may get along well with Remi. Well that has not been the case so far... Its been about two weeks since we got her so I know there is still potential for improvement but it hasn't been easy. Luckily Remi hasn't been too effected by her, as he is actually the one who hisses/growls (he doesn't do it every time he sees her but it happens often). He is 5 months old so we were thinking he may not be too territorial yet but we are finding that he is having a hard time accepting her. The first time we did the introduction process it lasted about 3-4 days. They were fine for the first couple of days and then the hissing was more frequent and RiRi was basically just hiding (its sad because we could tell she wanted to be by us but would just go elsewhere because of Remi). Now we are doing the process over again and its been about 4 days and we are now just letting them eat on opposite sides of the door with the door cracked open. RiRi is three years old. Her previous owner could no longer care for her and she was adopted once before us but that didn't work out because they had loud dogs. I think thats why it's been especially hard to build trust with her and it may be easier if she was the only cat in our household. Thats why I am skeptical of people getting a second cat unless they are littermates or you get them at the same time. If you have a great dynamic with your current cat and you yourself don't really want a second one then I wouldn't get one. The most likely way for a second cat to work out would be to get one that is a young kitten or the same age as Rex. I really wanted to adopt because I know how great it is but quickly realized there are many more challenges when adopting a cat (unless you are adopting a young kitten). As said above I do also think cats getting along is all about personality. Of course you want to match your cats personality with the new cat that you are getting but this is harder said than done. When he brought RiRi home her personality/behavior totally changed because she was no longer comfortable and was not used to her surroundings. Also two cats aren't always easier on the owners, depending on how they get along (if you have to separate them or survey them all the time it can be hard to make sure your spending equal amounts of time with them - I am talking about our current situation which Im hoping will get better but yes it hasn't been ideal). I think sometimes you get lucky with a second cat and their personality gets along great with the other and sometimes you get unlucky. I just wouldn't want anyone to be stuck like us and feel guilty about giving the cats equal attention if they can't be by each other or feel bad because one cat always is hiding due to the other one. BUT I know this is not the case for many and I love to hear the success stories! And also think about Rexs personality. Is he always playing (I know they do this a lot when their young) but for example Remi gets playful here and there and I can tell when he needs to let some energy out but he will also nap for hours during the day wether we are here or not. So I wouldn't feel bad if you are concerned about what Rex is doing while you're gone. Remi pretty much does the same wether we are here or not (besides obviously playing with him whenever we are here). Unless he is really energetic then you would maybe want to get another cat but of course they get less playful as they get older and a lot of cats (kind of like Remi) enjoy being center of attention lol. I would just really think about what it best for you and your family. Rex will be happy regardless
There is no such thing as two kittens that don't become friends. Another cat of the same age = guarrantied friendship. It might take a week and there might some bumps along the way, but the result is not in doubt. If there is a size mismatch, say you get 4 m.o. or a 9 m.o., they will still become friends, but the smaller kitten might squeal, hiss and run from play sometimes. Thats ok, just little brother calling for mom type of stuff, doesn't mean little brother doesn't come right back and want to play later.
I'm not sure of the age of cat you tried fostering, but its quite possible that the bullying was just rough play that your smaller cat wasn't ready for yet. Thats pretty normal. But if that foster was trying to play, it would have worked out soon enough. Kittens are super adaptible and will ultimately befriend any cat that wants to be friends. But another 6 month old would be ideal.
And yes, there is nothing wrong with only having one. I don't generally recommend people get a second if there aren't sure about it. That said, since you have a kitten its a lot simpler of an issue than if you had an older cat. There can sometimes be lots of problems adding a cat once the resident cat gets a few years on them, with the chances of problems going up as the resident cat ages. Only kitten plus kitten is a guarranty.
I'm not sure of the age of cat you tried fostering, but its quite possible that the bullying was just rough play that your smaller cat wasn't ready for yet. Thats pretty normal. But if that foster was trying to play, it would have worked out soon enough. Kittens are super adaptible and will ultimately befriend any cat that wants to be friends. But another 6 month old would be ideal.
And yes, there is nothing wrong with only having one. I don't generally recommend people get a second if there aren't sure about it. That said, since you have a kitten its a lot simpler of an issue than if you had an older cat. There can sometimes be lots of problems adding a cat once the resident cat gets a few years on them, with the chances of problems going up as the resident cat ages. Only kitten plus kitten is a guarranty.
Of course, I know it was a lot to read! I just wanted to offer another perspective because adding a second cat is not always sunshine and rainbows lol! Its hard not to listen to others because I have heard others also say that having one cat may be lonely for the cat etc. But there is nothing wrong with letting your little buddy be spoiled and giving all your love to him, it just makes the bond between you all so much stronger (not that you can't love on more than one cat haha)! Adding another cat can definitely change things, of course we always hope it changes for the best but sometimes this is not the case. We fell in love with RiRi separately from Remi and we wanted a second cat but if that wasn't the case and if we would have just been getting another cat to give Remi a friend we wouldn't have adopted her because I know he is perfectly fine on his own. Its always tempting to get another cat and if you get lucky with the right cat... who knows it could be great but in other cases like ours it may end up taking months or years before they are just civil with each other. I think a lot of owners dream of their cats being best friends and cuddling up to each other (which often does happen with kittens of the same age/size) but depending on the cats and their personalities, this sometimes never occurs and the cats just tolerate each other (which is the best we can hope for). I am still hoping things gradually improve with our cats. Best of luck and no huge rush, just think about it for a bit and see where your heart leads you!
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I am following this thread with interest. I have an 8-month old kitty who is an "only" and I very strongly do not want another cat. But I keep reading over and over that kitties need a playmate so sometimes I start to feel guilty and wonder....I love my kitty and want her to be happy.
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Exactly!
Just saw this post. I have had 3 cats - separately. Each was a stray, two at the age of about 6 months, the last one being Feeby who was 2ish at the time she found us (she is now 16+ yo). They have all thrived WITHOUT a second cat being with them. As a matter of fact, from so much of what I have read on this site, it would seem that sole cats don't have as many behavioral issues, and are much better adapted to human ways/interaction. I am sure there are tons of exceptions to my assessment, of course. As long as a cat has entertainment - in whatever form you determine over time that they like the most - and attention/love I don't necessarily think that a cat has to have a buddy (or two, or more) to have a happy fulfilled life.
My boy and the female we had before him were/are Only cats.
With both of them but particularly Poppycat, they didn't/don't want other cats in their territory.
With him, this even extends to us. He doesn't want to share food, napping spots, his supervised back yard, toys, playtime or our laps.
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I’ve been considering a second cat myself, so I’m following this thread. I’m extremely nervous about it because my 3 year female cat is so timid. I adopted her 9 months ago from the shelter, and she came from a hoarding situation. While she’s come so far, she’s still so timid in certain open rooms in the house a.k.a. our kitchen/dining room area. If my spouse or I enter the room while she’s in there, she runs away.
Her favorite room in the house happens to be the only room that would work as a “safe room” for the second cat (fyi, we used a tiny half bath for her, but I can’t imagine another cat tolerating it). But she’s so clingy with me and wants so much attention and playtime, I think a second cat could help especially since she was raised with multiple cats in the hoarder’s house. But then again, I’ve heard former hoarder cats can sometimes love being loner cats because they dealt with so many before!
I nearly had a meeting with a foster but cancelled because I’m too worried about how she would handle it and the stress we’d both have. It could have been a good match . . a male cat just a little younger that’s social and gets along with all the foster’s cats. I feel pretty guilty about it. But I’m also torn.
My new thought now is to give her at least a year so she gets better about getting totally comfortable with the whole house. A few days ago, she’s started coming in the kitchen/dining area briefly while I cleaned her litter box. Now I’ve been trying to lead her to the room with a wand toy and having some success so far.
Her favorite room in the house happens to be the only room that would work as a “safe room” for the second cat (fyi, we used a tiny half bath for her, but I can’t imagine another cat tolerating it). But she’s so clingy with me and wants so much attention and playtime, I think a second cat could help especially since she was raised with multiple cats in the hoarder’s house. But then again, I’ve heard former hoarder cats can sometimes love being loner cats because they dealt with so many before!
I nearly had a meeting with a foster but cancelled because I’m too worried about how she would handle it and the stress we’d both have. It could have been a good match . . a male cat just a little younger that’s social and gets along with all the foster’s cats. I feel pretty guilty about it. But I’m also torn.
My new thought now is to give her at least a year so she gets better about getting totally comfortable with the whole house. A few days ago, she’s started coming in the kitchen/dining area briefly while I cleaned her litter box. Now I’ve been trying to lead her to the room with a wand toy and having some success so far.
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I had a cat that literally stopped purring for me for 1.5 years once I got a kitten, it can change their personality a lot. But getting a kitten was better for her because she was depressed and lonely when I was gone and she was more fulfilled with a buddy.
If your cat is happy and satisfied on his own you don't need to worry about a second kitten. If he starts to develop separation anxiety or boredom you may want to consider a buddy for him. Some cats are very content on their own though. If you get another, I'd get a younger one. It will also be easier to introduce them while Rex is still a kitten.
If your cat is happy and satisfied on his own you don't need to worry about a second kitten. If he starts to develop separation anxiety or boredom you may want to consider a buddy for him. Some cats are very content on their own though. If you get another, I'd get a younger one. It will also be easier to introduce them while Rex is still a kitten.
I've had both singles and multiples, and the singles were quite happy with all their own favorite places and not having to share, not having to share my bed in the night with another cat, not having to share a window perch etc.- I never felt they were missing out. With cat towers, soft bedding, windows to look out of, bird feeders outside the windows they seemed fine.
I think if someone doesn't really want a second cat then there is nothing wrong with that.
Multiples can be fun too. Two of mine are buddies and enjoy each other. One of those two I got at 12 weeks of age when Waffles was 4 years old and the intro went fine.
If you decide to I would go for one Rex's age or younger- another kitten. They will get along as kittens, with proper introducing that is- and it's much easier than bringing in an adult.
It's your call- if you aren't exactly happy getting a second one then it may not be the thing to do IMHO. And it's great if you decide to!
Edited to add: I agree with the statement if Rex is the only cat, he still will be happy with all the attention from you guys!
I think if someone doesn't really want a second cat then there is nothing wrong with that.
Multiples can be fun too. Two of mine are buddies and enjoy each other. One of those two I got at 12 weeks of age when Waffles was 4 years old and the intro went fine.
If you decide to I would go for one Rex's age or younger- another kitten. They will get along as kittens, with proper introducing that is- and it's much easier than bringing in an adult.
It's your call- if you aren't exactly happy getting a second one then it may not be the thing to do IMHO. And it's great if you decide to!
Edited to add: I agree with the statement if Rex is the only cat, he still will be happy with all the attention from you guys!
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Neko-chan is an only cat and has to be due to our living situation. We are only allowed one cat per our lease. I doubt we'd get a second even if we were allowed. Yes, we do have to play with her a lot as she's still young. But I see that as a good thing as it makes us both happy. However, we go away only once a year and even before the pandemic, she was very rarely left alone for more than five hours due to my husband's job. Add to that, we don't really want another one. You should only get a second cat if you want to, not because others think you should.
If you do end up with a second cat, get a young one, younger than yours, that is male, to buddy with your own. Once females grow up, they are very bossy and domineering because that is their job, the limit setters, the one who teaches manners. Two males get along much quicker and become actual playing partners. Be sure you get to know the kitten first, you don't want to put an active, very domineering kitten with a laid back, quiet, shy cat. Try to match their personalities. I think two cats are happier because they have something to hold their interest, to watch, to interest them so they don't get bored. A single cat is fine, it depends on their personality. Some become depressed and really bored without another around, only you would know. remember, it takes MANY weeks for cats to form a bond, they almost always hiss, growl and flee when a newcomer comes around.
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Rex seems very happy and is very interactive with us. He also gets excited when he sees neighbor kitties out the window. We do work up to 10 hr days, several days a week, sometimes so this puts him alone for long stretches. Our son comes by to feed him, play with him, and scoop his box once a day when we travel. This is when I feel the most guilty as he's alone most of the day and night for several days in a row. I feel, and have been told, this is not good for a cat, especially a kitten. My husband doesn't want a stranger staying overnight in our home and I don't know if boarding Rex is good for him. I love cats but don't want twice the expense, twice the work, and especially the cat shenanigas. Selfishly, I love houseplants, burning candles, and have some breakable things that I hope to keep intact. Rex is practically perfect for a cat, but he does like to get on the kitchen counters and play in the dirt of my houseplants. I wondered if him having a second cat would entertain him and deter him from doing these things, but I've been told it probably would not and that I'd just have two cats then doing these naughty things.
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Thanks for your reply. Rex loves sitting at the top of his tower by the window so he can watch birds, people riding bikes, people walking dogs, and the neighbor kitties that come visit our yard. He also is so spoiled that he practically gets all of our attention, like a true only child. He spoons (while purring loudly) with me every night and purrs in Dad's ear at 0600 every morning for him to get up and feed him. On our days off, we take him outside and "walk" him on his leash. We have a great, very fulfilling relationship with Rex. We did adopt a foster kitty last weekend but sadly had to return her after 3 days because she was bullying and attacking Rex, even after all of the recommended interventions. Yes, we introduced them correctly. Rex seemed very excited about her being in the house until she started being mean to him. He then became defensive and appeared stressed. He snuggled with me and purred for 2.5 hours after I took the other kitty back to her foster mom. Rex stopped being affectionate with us when the other kitty was in the house, but I realize he was just excited about something new. This might have changed had we given it more time. Does all of this mean he's better as an only cat, or that the other kitty just wasn't a good fit?
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Thank you for your reply. I'd like to know what you do with Neko-chan when you travel. We are trying to figure out the best option for Rex as we typically go on a 4-5 day trip every 3-4 mos (pre COVID) and hope to continue this when we can. Our son can come play with him, feed him, and clean Rex's box, but he's home alone for the rest of the time. It makes me sad to think he might be missing us. We traveled for 3 days in Dec and when we got home, he seemed ok, but he was purring incessantly and kind of shaking a bit. We don't know if this means he was stressed or just that he was happy to see us.
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My cousin also recommended a male around Rex's age if we decide to get another kitty.
I have 4 cats currently, 6 overall now, and have had a sliding scale of friendships formed over the years. It's never an exact science, one cat may become their best bud whereas another with a different personality could be their misery.
A single cat, brought up as a single cat, will be absolutely fine. They do not need a companion, they are solitary creatures into adulthood and what they want most in the world is YOUR attention, not a cats. That being said, I've always said the easiest cats I ever had were a pair of brothers I got from the same litter... They roughhoused each other so much the toys and playtime sessions were almost obsolete!! But that was the benefit of getting litter mates. Your situation is slightly different... by all means go for it if you feel strongly that he would benefit from a friend, but don't be under the impression he needs one.
A single cat, brought up as a single cat, will be absolutely fine. They do not need a companion, they are solitary creatures into adulthood and what they want most in the world is YOUR attention, not a cats. That being said, I've always said the easiest cats I ever had were a pair of brothers I got from the same litter... They roughhoused each other so much the toys and playtime sessions were almost obsolete!! But that was the benefit of getting litter mates. Your situation is slightly different... by all means go for it if you feel strongly that he would benefit from a friend, but don't be under the impression he needs one.
