Should i take my cat from my mother's hands? (College Student)

[cmcataldo]

Hey everyone,

I have a dilemma that i have no idea how to handle. I got my cat a year before i left from New York to California for college, and its been a year since then. I live on campus so i couldn't bring her with me because the university doesn't allow it. My mother has recently shared that my cat has been acting up, tearing up rugs and urinating every where, and she doesn't know what to do with her.  I'm thinking she is acting out because my mother is always at work and she is alone most of the day, so i think she is depressed. I am moving into a small house with three other roommates for the summer and i was thinking if i should bring my cat over here. The only issue is that one roommate has a friendly pit bull, and the other roommate has a cat. I've had my cat since she was 9 months old, and she has never been exposed to other animals, so i'm scared there will be a problem with the other pets if i bring her over. Apparently the cat and pit bull get together well but i dont know how my cat would fit into that situation after being moved into a new home on top of everything.

Please help!! I have a feeling my mom is going to get rid of her and i really don't want that to happen. Any advice is much appreciated.

 

[red top rescue]

Yes, you should definitely take your cat away from your mom if you can find a better home for her.  Obviously the cat is not happy and is showing her distress in ways that make your mom unhappy, so that relationship is going nowhere.  It doesn't sound like your mother ever wanted the cat, and we see this too much in rescue, where the child is the "owner" of the animal but when they leave for college, the parent inherits an animal they never wanted.  We do try to avoid this when we screen for adoptions, but in your case it is too late.  Obviously you love the cat and care about her well-being, so step one is to get her out of your mom's house and step two is probably to find out why she is peeing all over the house.  It might be stress from loneliness and also not feeling loved, but it might be a urinary infection, and it also might be be because perhaps she was never spayed (you didn't mention it one way or the other).

I'm concerned that you are only in this new living situation "for the summer" and you have three ore years of college to finish.  What do you plan to do with her at the end of the summer?  It would not be a problem for you to confine her to your own room, and I would suggest that when first bringing any cat into a new situation, give her one area in which she is the Queen, she feels safe, and no other animals can enter.  Once she is calm, after a couple of weeks, then you can start introductions.  You should read articles on introducing cats to cats and cats to dogs first because there is a right way and a wrong way.

If you are not going to be in a position to live outside the dorm, with a roommate or two and with your cat, then it would be kinder to first get her checked out by a vet to make sure she has no medical problem, and then see if you could re-home her.  A cat can be fine if a person is at work all day as long as the person gives them lots of love when they get home.  However, if there is no one there who really loves the cat, going through the motions doesn't work.  Cats know, and they are mirrors, and they put back what is put into them.  Just like little kids, if they don't get positive attention, then they will find a way to get negative attention.

Look ahead and think about your situation and see what you can do to keep her.  Ask other people in your circle of friends, and even ask their parents for advice if you ca.  If keeping her with you year-round is not going to work, then start looking for a new home for her where she will be loved and happy.  Remember, she can't help herself in this situation so you have to be a good cat protector, even if that means finding her a good new home.  You are the "parent" here and she is the "child" and solving this situation will help you as well as your cat.  All she ever wanted was love.

 

[cmcataldo]

Thank you for responding!

She has been sprayed and i actually have one year left of college because i transferred from a community college.

I am looking into places for the next school year in hopes that i can keep her out here with me and i'm going to tell my mom to bring her to the vet. My biggest concern is just having her with the other pets in a new home. I don't want to stress her out that tremendously.