She hates being held...

[junebugbear07]

So we have had Kamie since like July so she is like 5-6 months old now. I have noticed she has become very aggitated when you pick her up. At first I thought maybe she was hurt, but the vet says she is fine. Now my brother who happens to be 21....immature j**k....likes to rough handle her, and is mean to her at times when she is trying to get away from him and he wont let her. He isnt really doing anything harmful to her physically but I think it is messing her up mentally. I dont know what to do, she is very loving to me, cuddles with me, follows me etc....but I can rarely pick her up. Sometimes I can calm her and make her see I am not going to hurt her and she is fine, but its like no matter how much I work to make her "better" he makes it worse. Is there really anything I can do to ease her aggitation? I try my hardest to keep the cats in my room, or away from him, he has problems. I hate seeing her being afraid of being held

it saddens me. Is there anything I can do?

 

[lisar]

Some cats will become very agitated when picked up naturally. Mine will, however over the years they let me pick them up to go short distances. If anybody but me picks them up however they cause a racket, hiss and scratch. So with them is a matter of trust.

You can take it slow with her, by going short distances at first perhaps just from the floor to the bed. Give her lots of treats and love. If you take it slow you can probably get her to trust you enough to calm down when you hold her. You brother however probably won't get the same trust in the end.

My suggestion is just to do some slow coaxing once she trusts you more she will probably calm down a bit in your arms.

 

[yosemite]

Some cats just do not like to be held. We had a black long-haired cat that would love to sit on the arm of my lazy boy chair with me and I could pet him and love on him as much as I wanted but as soon as I moved him sideways onto my lap he would leave.

The most important thing is to not force them to be held (like your j**k brother is doing

) He needs a slap upside the head IMO.

 

[kittyl0ve4]

My Mittens doesn't like to be held. That's just how she has always been. She follows me around, always wants to love on me, she will sit on my lap, but if I try to pick her up she meows, if I don't put her down she growls. I only pick her up if its necessary, like if she is doing something she shouldn't.

 

[junebugbear07]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Some cats just do not like to be held. We had a black long-haired cat that would love to sit on the arm of my lazy boy chair with me and I could pet him and love on him as much as I wanted but as soon as I moved him sideways onto my lap he would leave.

The most important thing is to not force them to be held (like your j**k brother is doing

) He needs a slap upside the head IMO.

Hahaha he needs more than a slap

perhaps a boot in the bottom and kick him out of the house would sound better

. I cant wait until I can move out, but I will only get to take a few of the cats with me, I have 5 here that I really love.

Ok I thought maybe it was just Kamie, but I guess it is just what some cats do. Ill try working slowly with her to see if it makes her feel better, but Im not going to force anything on her

Hopefully in the process she will trust me even more. What I dont understand is she knows my brother is going to play rough with her, yet she will stay in his room after he is done harrassing her

Thank you for all your advice

 

[fastnoc]

Tinker hates being held. I thought she was coming around right after she was spayed, but she reverted.

when she was little she'd climb into my arms, and lay down right next to my face while I scratched her. but that's over.

if I pick her up, she immediately wants down. she doesn't get mad, she just doesn't like being held, and these cats have never, at any time, been spanked, teased, or hurt. So it's clearly just her 'thing'.

the only thing she'll do now is walk in front of me on the desk, and arch her back while i pet her. but she's on the move. she'll pace back and forth but not sit.

and for SOME reason she loves water bottles?!?! if i put a water bottle in front of me she'll run over and rub all over it. so i keep an empty by my desk at all times

Wilbur use to be a lap cat too. but he's stopped also. he will come into my arms acouple times a day. but he sites on my stomach facing me with my arm under his butt for support. then he stuffs his head under my chin and flops over on his side so i can pet him. he then lays his head on my shoulder and naps. but it's only for a bout 10 minutes. if I stop petting, he'll usually get up. sometimes he falls asleep, but just long enough to realize it

then he hops down.

now, I CAN pick him up and walk around the house with him lying on my arm, but if i stop moving, he hops down.

so neither of my cats, at any time, want to be held. strange. and it bugs me too

 

[lisar]

Originally Posted by JuneBugBear07

Hahaha he needs more than a slap

perhaps a boot in the bottom and kick him out of the house would sound better

. I cant wait until I can move out, but I will only get to take a few of the cats with me, I have 5 here that I really love.

Ok I thought maybe it was just Kamie, but I guess it is just what some cats do. Ill try working slowly with her to see if it makes her feel better, but Im not going to force anything on her

Hopefully in the process she will trust me even more. What I dont understand is she knows my brother is going to play rough with her, yet she will stay in his room after he is done harrassing her

Thank you for all your advice

The most important thing here is just she trusts you. She just may be a cat that doesn't like to be held too. She might find it scary to be that far up off the ground.

I've found even if my cats hate being held when they are scared at the vet they want to do nothing but hide in my arms.

You can also teach her to come to you with a call since she doesn't like being held. That's an easy way to get around the whole "don't pick me up" thing.

 

[otto]

None of my cats like being picked up and held. They are all lap cats, but on their terms. Because I want them to be used to being handled, I pick them up every day, hold them for about 30 seconds, then release them

I've always done this, and they all hate it, but at least they know when I pick them up it's not always because they are going to get a pill or a nail trim or put into a carrier

As for the brother....I would not be allowed to say what I think about him in this forum

 

[trillcat]

Well, I know if someone was trying to pick me up and be rough with me and mean (your brother) I would not like it so much either. He may be a great guy to the cat once he gets out all that agression on the poor girl, He has become alpha cat, and not in a good way. To me that is a volitile situation, and I would keep the cat (s) away from him.
You mention you are taking 5 cats with you, how many cats are in the house now?

 

[shanynne]

Is there any chance you can convince your brother to not be "so mean" to your cat and also to let her go when she's trying to get away from him? Is there anyone in your family that can help you with this? If your brother doesn't change his behavior, it's possible that your cat will eventually respond by biting or scratching him and then what?

As far as holding her goes, it took me almost two years before my cat, Rascal, would let me hold him. He does now, but it just took a lot of love and patience. Every time I would pick him up I would thank him for letting me hold him. However, the *second* he wanted down, I would immediately set him down. Once he realized that I wasn't going to hold him against his will or drop him or anything he was OK with it.

 

[yourbriness763]

Ginger ABSOLUTELY hates being picked up she will growl, cry, meow & do anything she can to let me or my boyfriend know she is not happy...I've always wondered why she doesn't like being held...

 

[ink]

Sabrina hates being picked up. She will go nuts loving on me (and other family members) and getting loved back but she despises being picked up and will scratch to get away. So we love on her where ever she happens to be.

 

[junebugbear07]

We have 7 cats, but I couldnt live without 5 of them, but I know if I moved out most apartments only allow like 2 animals, I also have my dog, who I dont know will come....its awhile off before I can afford to move out.

Its hard with my brother. He has some problems, I could go on about him, personally I feel he is a waste of space but that is just the angry side of me that is speaking. He not only harrasses the animals he harrasses me and my parents. My dad has tried to discipline him, but my bro goes crazy, he has broken my door down 2x already. I hate being around him, problem is, my mom doesnt want to admit how much damage my brother is causing me or the animals, she just wants to forget how bad he is. I try my hardest to keep the cats with me or what not, but if he has one I cant physically beat him in a fight....so I have to wait until he lets it go to comfort it.

Kamie is pretty good about following me when I call her, she is my little girl,

she used to be really mean until she got fixed, it really calmed her down and made her more loveable to me

 

[cassielainie]

Hobbes has never liked being held..
she likes to be petted and played with, but i can't hold her for more than a couple of minutes.. sometimes if i'm laying on my bed reading or something, she'll snuggle next to me.. or lay on my back.. but she doesn't like to be held..
some cats just don't...
actually.. most of the cats i've ever had haven't liked to be held..
i don't know why some people (particularly boys) like being so mean to little cats.. my cat scratched my brother so bad once, she drew blood.. he stopped being mean to her after that..
but he was little.. i don't know what could have possessed your supposedly "adult" brother to be so mean.. talk to him about it. sometimes you can make people see reason.

 

[shanynne]

Originally Posted by JuneBugBear07

We have 7 cats, but I couldnt live without 5 of them, but I know if I moved out most apartments only allow like 2 animals, I also have my dog, who I dont know will come....its awhile off before I can afford to move out.

Its hard with my brother. He has some problems, I could go on about him, personally I feel he is a waste of space but that is just the angry side of me that is speaking. He not only harrasses the animals he harrasses me and my parents. My dad has tried to discipline him, but my bro goes crazy, he has broken my door down 2x already. I hate being around him, problem is, my mom doesnt want to admit how much damage my brother is causing me or the animals, she just wants to forget how bad he is. I try my hardest to keep the cats with me or what not, but if he has one I cant physically beat him in a fight....so I have to wait until he lets it go to comfort it.

Kamie is pretty good about following me when I call her, she is my little girl,

she used to be really mean until she got fixed, it really calmed her down and made her more loveable to me

Oh my gosh! Sounds like your brother needs professional help, like counseling and anger management. He could become a dangerous individual to society one day.

 

[mrblanche]

Sterling will climb into my lap occasionally, or sit with Dottie. Ella will sit on Dottie's lap for a few minutes, then move beside her. Punkin just likes to be nearby.

But none of them really likes being picked up. Sterling tolerates it; Ella struggles to get down after a few moments; but Punkin will push away from you, all the while purring!

Cats are, of course, weird.

 

[natalie_ca]

I have 2 cats.

Chynna loves to be picked up and carted around and cuddled.

Abby on the other hand will only cuddle on her terms: If I'm sitting or laying down. She hates to be picked up. She doesn't even like to be picked up and held when I'm sitting or laying down either. She likes to lay next to me. If she decides she wants more, she will stand up and walk up onto me to let me know that she wants to be held and cuddled.

You can't force the issue. You have to let her decide for herself. In the meantime take what she gives and be happy with that. Eventually she might decide that she wants more, just like Abby did.

 

[goldenkitty45]

Seriously not much you can do. Some cats like to cuddle more then others. IMO males tend to be more of a cuddlier then females. Our one cat, Ling, is weird - she cries for you to pick her up and give her attention. As soon as you do that, then she's complaining to be put down on the floor again.

Nothing physically wrong - she's just weird in her own way. Its more of "love me on MY terms - not on your terms". Just go by her way and love her for who she is.