Send Cats Away To “reset”?

[belle8bete]

hi!

I have two cats...LW is the boy, aged around 6, and a girl cat (LH) who is 7. Both have been fixed at an early age.

I had LW for almost a year before getting LH. LH was a street cat, but very affectionate towards me. LW was rescued as a tiny baby. LW is a pretty confident cat...very social (except at the vet).

LW tends to bully her...it’s like he doesn’t get the difference between play and mean (he didn’t have any litter mates or a momma cat). LH is much smaller, and I swear sometimes she seems to almost goad him. Like, he bites her and tries to pin her down, she hisses and screams, we rattle a can of pennies or whatever and he leaves her alone...then she will sometimes trot after him and then it starts over

Anyway, this all got worse lately when they stayed with my in laws. They were totally fine there—it’s much bigger with stairs and many hiding spots. We ended up bringing LW home first because he had a vet appointment and he has to be sedated for it. I thought it would be easier to just have him for a couple of days. But now he is meaner than ever to her.

Would it make sense to take them back to my in-laws for a little while and then maybe reintroduce them at our home? Can we “reset” them somehow?

 

[rubysmama]

Would it make sense to take them back to my in-laws for a little while and then maybe reintroduce them at our home? Can we “reset” them somehow?

Possibly. In fact, re-introduction was what I kept thinking as I read your post. At this point it can't hurt. And it's possible since they were separated he's feeling some sort of non-recognition towards her.

Here's a couple TCS articles on the subject that might be helpful:
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction
How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats

Plus:
Why Do Cats Attack?

 

[susanm9006]

If she screams, runs and then comes right back for more she is having fun and playing. Yes, I am sure she does goad him, that is part of their game. Some cats just complain a lot when the other cat gets the best of them. They were probably fine with your in-laws because they were a little nervous being in a strange place and so didn’t play as much or as hard. I would not try to “reset” their relationship nor would I separate them when she screams. Just make sure there are cat trees and places where each can get away from the other and only break up their play if the noise is getting on your nerves or you literally see fur flying,

 

[jen]

Like, he bites her and tries to pin her down, she hisses and screams, we rattle a can of pennies or whatever and he leaves her alone...then she will sometimes trot after him and then it starts over

That is play on both parts. He is really rough so she tells him, you intervene, he stops, which is great, but then she goes right back for more. It is all play. When he bites her is there bloodshed? If not, I would not worry so much. Cats are crazy and rough in their play. Her screaming when he bites, or when he gets to rough in general needs to happen to teach him to be more gentle, and it is great that she doesn't hesitate to tell him. She is not hissing because she is scared she is merely communicating with him.

Now when you take them out of the home, or take one to the vet and bring it back, that is a different story. This is probably stressing them out to the point where they don't want to play as much so in your mind they seem better. Cats aren't dogs, they don't like environmental changes. Most anyway. I would at that point keep them apart until they calm down from the stress. The one at the vet smells different so the cat who is still home doesn't immediately recognize it. So any play could get more aggressive as she is unsure who the intruder is at first.

I would stop taking them out of the house. Pick up some Feliway diffusers to plug in throughout the house or their favorite places, and have some Feliway spray handy when you take one to the vet or bring him back to try to keep things mellow in the house. You could also try calming collars.

 

[m3rma1d]

If little gal is unafraid to use the litter box or eat, there's nothing to re-set here. Cats' version of any kinda playing is made up 100% by hunting-instinct stuff, think about it. Little gal is probably tired she's always the "prey" .. She'll either fight back or get loud. Sounds like she gets loud.

 

[belle8bete]

Hi everyone!

Here's some helpful context.

1. They only left the house because I was traveling...I don't just take them out for fun. It wasn't a "just stop by one or two days" situation, so I took them to my in laws, as it's unreasonable for me to have them drive across the city while I'm away to care for my cats.
2. The scream she gives is unbearably loud and the vet noticed some scabs from the biting/play. Sometimes she doesn't go back for more, but tries to hide under the couch and he bullies his way in there. I have tried "letting it go/letting them figure it out" and it's just really not sustainable anymore.
3. We have done Feliway before with no benefit. And we tried it for months. Same with calming treats and Jackson Galaxy products etc.

The next time they go over to stay with "Grandma" I will try to reintroduce them carefully in my home.