Semi feral cat adoption... help!

[Evil Orange Crayon]

I just adopted a bonded pair of kittens, that grew up on the streets of New Mexico. Their names are Icarus (the tabby), and Thena (the dilute calico). It’s been about 2 1/2 days. Icarus will let me touch him, climb on my lap, and will play with me even though he does hiss a little bit when I first come in the room. Thena, On the other hand, let me touch her once and now she’s having none of it. She hisses and has swat at me a couple of times. It’s heartbreaking and it makes me sad because I just want to love her.

She will eat when I’m in the room, move around and explore but just keeps a wide berth. She sniffs my hand sometimes. I don’t know if that’s progress. What should I do? Any advice?

 

[SharkTT]

Hello Evil Orange Crayon. Congratulations on your adoption. They are gorgeous. Building up the trust of your cats can take a long time. It won't take long though for them to realize who provides the food, and a few treats in your hand will go a long way. Let them come to you rather than you moving towards them. They all have their own personality and some just don't like sitting on laps. I have 2 semi feral cats, 1 of which loves to sit on my lap. Neither like being picked up though.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

It is, indeed, progress! Time and patience are your friends, and this could take weeks, sometimes months...but once they give you their hearts, they are given forever. Remember that. One thing you can do is to spend a lot of time sitting in the room with them, on the floor, just reading out loud in a calm voice, or talking with them. Don't make extended eye-contact, which can be read as a challenge. Just be there, be open to them, but not expecting them to do anything but what they actually do. It's a very zen process. The thing with sitting on the floor is that it makes you far less threatening. Think of how tall you are compared to how small they are. Of course, you look like a monster looming over them, and they spent weeks learning NOT to trust. Be small for them, and let them make the first moves.

 

[Evil Orange Crayon]

Many,

It is, indeed, progress! Time and patience are your friends, and this could take weeks, sometimes months...but once they give you their hearts, they are given forever. Remember that. One thing you can do is to spend a lot of time sitting in the room with them, on the floor, just reading out loud in a calm voice, or talking with them. Don't make extended eye-contact, which can be read as a challenge. Just be there, be open to them, but not expecting them to do anything but what they actually do. It's a very zen process. The thing with sitting on the floor is that it makes you far less threatening. Think of how tall you are compared to how small they are. Of course, you look like a monster looming over them, and they spent weeks learning NOT to trust. Be small for them, and let them make the first moves.

You are definitely right about being small. Thena hates it when I walk into the room and we’re standing up. She seems to chill a little more once I lay down. And I want so very badly to touch her and love her but you’re right. I just need to let her come around.

 

[Tobermory]

In addition to the great suggestions from Mamanyt1953 and S SharkTT , another key for me was to have the patience to NOT reach out.

I adopted Mocha four years ago as a three-year-old. No one could touch her at the shelter, and after I got her home, she hid every time I came into her “safe” room (I have two other cats). No touching!

I did a lot of reading about how to introduce a scared cat to a new environment, and one of the recommendations was to sit on the floor and put your hand out with the back of your hand to the kitty. It took a lot of time and patience (and an aching arm from holding my hand six inches in the air for long periods of time), but gradually she came closer and closer. She’d smell my hand, then dart away again. Finally, she rubbed tentatively on my hand. I kept my hand still because whenever I reached for her, she would dart away. We just repeated the back of the hand outstretched over and over and over until finally she let me gently run the back of my hand lightly down her side.

It took five months before she would come up to be petted, although she occasionally would revert if I reached out toward her too quickly. It also made her very nervous if I reached my hand out above her; I had to come in low by her side. My husband was too impatient to wait for her to come to his hand. He reached out every time, and every time she backed off. I swear it’s easier to train the cat than the spouse!

Mocha has been with us four years now, and she has finally decided that there’s nowhere on earth she’d rather be than on my lap. And she follows both of us around, wanting to be petted. She actually wants attention more than Lily and Iris who are 17 and came to me as spoiled rotten kittens.

Oh! I almost forgot! As Mocha became more comfortable with me but before I could easily pet her, I would sit on the floor with my hand outstretched, holding a brush. She would cautiously approach and then rub the side of her face along the brush. She LOVED the brush, and I think it helped her relax around me.

They do revert during the process. You think you’re there with them and then they skitter away again. It really does take a lot of patience. Good luck! Thena and Icarus are so gorgeous and sweet looking.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I swear it’s easier to train the cat than the spouse!

It is. Which is why I now live with JUST the cat!