Seeking advice on getting my Siamese a playmate.

[skyygirl]

Hello fellow cat lovers! I need some advice on bringing in a new cat into my home.

I currently have a 4 year old Siamese cat that I acquired as a kitten. When I got the cat I was living with my husband and he works from home so he would be home all day with her. Which was great because I travel for work (airline F/A).

Just recently we separated and are now going through a divorce. I got the cat because I'm the one who really wanted it in the first place. Now I live alone and when I have to go on a trip the cat is home alone and I feel terrible! I think she's bored and needs playtime. She wants to play a lot when I get home and a lot of times I'm just too tired.

So anyway, my thought was to get her a playmate. My fear is that she will get angry about it though and her personality will change or something. She is totally an indoor cat and doesn't even know other cats exist. I don't want her to be traumatized if a new cat suddenly joins us. And I don't want to go away worrying that they may fight or something (my cat is a biter unfortunately).

Is this a good idea? If so, would it be better to get a male or female (my cat is spayed), a cat or kitten? Same breed? How should the new cat be introduced so that it is a smooth transition?

Thanks in advance to anyone with advice on this.

 

[strange_wings]

First, you need to be home for a few weeks to be able to do this. Plan at least two weeks to introduce them then another couple weeks before you'd away (for more than a day of work) so that you know how they are around each other.

Some older girls don't always take well to new cats. Personally I think putting two females together presents more of a challenge and always suggest a male. Since she's old enough that she probably wouldn't want to be pestered all the time - and because you go on business trips, I'd suggest nothing younger than a year.

I prefer adopting cats to buying as there's plenty in shelters that need homes. But if you have your heart set on another siamese (people cats, remember it'll really miss you) then check in to rescues if you can.

When you do introductions you need to take it slow. New kitty should get it's own room to itself while your current girl gets used to smelling it in the home. There are longer, more detailed threads on introductions if you do plan on getting another cat.

 

[pat traufield]

Keep in mind that getting another cat - even if it goes well - will not prevent your kitty from wanting your attention. In fact you'll have two kitties that want your attention.

I would recommend going with an opposite sex cat who is younger and not the same breed.

There are introduction protocols here and at the HSUS site. Pamela John-Bennett has a book about multi-cat households.

I have always had two cats and it is twice the fun, but it is also twice the work and twice the money.

 

[white cat lover]

Some cats just have a "diva" complex & will not tolerate another kitty in the house. I think you'll be the best judge of whether or not another cat is the good idea. As for what breed - I always suggest going to your local shelter with an idea of what you are looking for in a cat (male/female, age, purr-sonality, energy level, etc), & see who fits the bill.

That said - if you do get another kitty we are here to help!

There are many threads on how to do a proper introduction.

 

[mews2much]

If you decide on another cat do not go by the sex.
I have 7 cats and they all get along fine except Wrinkles hates Polar Bare.
He is to rough with the other cats but he is only 5 months old.
All the other cats are girls.

 

[darlili]

I had a girl first, and adopted another to keep her company. Every situation is unique, but I also was advised to get a male, about the same age or younger (a kitten can be just too much for an older cat - although, again, we've all seen situations where a kitten gave an older cat new life). Females are often more territorial, and don't like another girl in the house. Some cats truly don't like another cat in the house at all.


I also agree - talk with the shelter or breeder about getting a nice laid-back kitty should you move forward, and try to schedule the introductions when you have some time off. I also love Pamela Johnson-Bennett's books - you might want to check them out before you bring anyone new home.

BTW, does your kitty have access to windows or otherwise be able to look outside during the day? And do you have any cat trees available to her? Or toys you can leave out during the day? I also leave my tv on to a soft new agey music station when I'm gone - very low sound level, of course.

 

[missymotus]

If you love the Siamese breed then by all means get another (or sidestep to an Ocicat

). The breeder of your current girl could still be breeding or if you post in the breeders corner we could help you find another good breeder in your area.

 

[cococat]

Proper introductions are very important. Research on this site about what that means if you don't already know, you can't just put them together and hope for the best, that doesn't work so well with most cats. Take it slow. There is a guideline for the most success.

 

[kylew]

I started out with just Franklin. He's a 2 1/2 YO Balinese (Siamese w/Long hair). I brought him home from the breeder when he was 3-4 months old. For 6-7 months I would come home to Velcro Cat. At first it was endearing but it evolved to annoying. I also felt really bad about him being home all day by himself. So about a year and a half ago I adopted Franny from the same breeder. She breeds her females 3 times and Franny had had her third babies. It's the best decision I ever made! She's 4 so there is a decent age difference. They get along amazingly well. In your case, since you have the 4 YO girl, I would get a baby Siamese Boy

 

[phillygal]

I am in the process of making the same decision myself. I am working with a rescue with whom I feel very comfortable and I will take my time making the decision.

I have always been told that two cats of the same gender is not a good idea.....but of course, there are always exceptions! I know a few folks who have two boys and/or two girls and they are fine. But they may have been littermates and that may be the difference. But of course that doesn't always guarantee success either! Cats sure defy stereotyping!

I don't have a strong preference for male or female. I've owned cats of both sexes who were equally wonderful.

I feel strongly that when you find the right kitty, you will know it. It may take awhile for the two felines to become comfortable with each other, but it sounds like your kitty would like a kitty friend. Good luck!

 

[goldenkitty45]

Siamese tend to be people oriented and needy cats. Females (spayed or not) take longer to accept a new kitten in the house - it can take weeks or months).

I won't lie to you - she will be upset, but eventually she will accept - its a matter of YOU being patient with her. Our female HHP took 6 months to accept our Ocicat male - he was only 4 months old when we got him. The 2nd Oci, took her a month to accept. We know that she will go thru it all again with the next boy. I know she would never accept another female in the house!

Your best bet is to pick a young neutered male kitten (Siamese or Siamese mix) for best results - one about 3 months old. Some hints for transition:

1. Confine the new kitten to one room with own litter pan, food, water dishes for at least a week.

2. After that - switch the cats around - put your Siamese in the room that the kitten was in to pick up his scent. Let the kitten be supervised in the rest of the house.

3. When meeting face-to-face, sprinkle cornstarch baby powder on both to smell the same and expect a lot of hissing, growling, and chasing for a few weeks. Be sure nails are clipped on both cats weekly.

 

[taryn]

Maude actually accepted Attitude(female) a lot better than Nuts. She really seemed to hate Nuts to the point of not wanting him near her and she would hiss at him and wanted nothing to do with him. She was more accepting of Attitude, she would let her sleep against her. They were never friends but more or less accepted each other. Attitude and Nuts are litter mates and I have always called them 'partners in crime', if you needed to find one, just find the other and you had your kitten.

You can see from my sig pic that Maude really didn't like either one(the simple look of disgust on her face) but she accepted them before she went over the bridge. I will say Nuts seems to be more upset about Maude no longer being here than Attitude, which is funny considering Maude REALLY REALLY did not like him. Even though both have decided to take her place in their own way, Nuts has become a total lap cat(Maude got like that after Molly, Paul's dog went over the bridge( and Attitude has decided to become 'fat cat'(Maude's nickname was fat cat, and she was and Attitude is big and fat, Attitude is on a diet so I'm not sitting around letting her expand her waistline.)

Depending on the cat it can take time. The first time I brought Attitude in the house(before I knew Attitude had leukemia and put her back outside) Maude was so mad she attacked me. After Paul and I decided to get Maude vaccinated against FeLV and bring Attitude and Nuts in. We got Maude vaccinated and Paul just opened the door and let them out(I was going to give them more time to get to know each other through the bathroom door.) Maude walked by the door(don't know if she looked inside or not) and hissed. I go into the bathroom(for it's intended purpose) and Nuts is arched and puffed, now keep in mind Maude walked by and hissed, she was already in the living room. After that it was some hissing, a few swipes, and Maude did at one point take their heads(one at a time obviously) into her mouth and yes their entire heads fit in her mouth to tell them to knock something off and she was really mad. Can't remember what Nuts did but Attitude hopped on Paul's lap and Maude was already there so Attitude(having an Attitude) kept sticking her tail in Maude's mouth so she couldn't hiss at her. I will say Nuts only puffed the one time and he stopped after that(he used to puff and hiss at the Siamese that all the outside cats hated, it was funny seeing a 4 week old kitten arched and puffed up and hissing at an adult cat, they all hated her and the adults would chase her off if they saw her.)

I will say on Attitude and Nuts' first night they refused to enter the living room, I'm assuming because Maude was there and they were afraid of her or they thought it was hers and they weren't allowed in, but I think they were just afraid of Maude(she was 14 lbs and they were maybe 4 lbs at most.) Once I carried them both in they understood they were allowed in there and started coming in there and ignoring Maude hissing at them. I saw them in the hall almost in there but they didn't want to come in, like I said I had to carry them in and then they were fine. There were a few swipes but never any claws or fights.

I think it was just that Nuts was more annoying, when Mama, their grandma, was in here after her prolapse she bopped Nuts on the head more than once(and basically ignored Attitude) just like Maude did so I think Nuts was just annoying to them. Maude and Mama just basically accepted each other(I let Mama out of the bathroom before it started permanently stinking like a litter box) after Mama scared Maude(keep in mind Mama is 5 lbs soaking wet and Maude was a good 14 lbs, so if they got into it there is no doubt who would win) by hissing and beating her paw in the hallway when they saw each other the first time. Mama was older, 3 or 4 and Maude was 10 so they didn't bother each other and Mama refused to jump up on the couch or the furniture, I'm assuming her last owner(who dumped her unspayed once they were done with her) didn't allow her on the furniture because she would not jump up. I know she was owned at some point since she knows what a litter box is, how to use one, and that if you are in the house that is the only place you go.

It might take time or they could be immediate best friends or they might simply tolerate each other. I didn't ever do it the 'right' way when introducing them(I did however put Attitude's scent under Maude's food bowl) but it worked in my situation, if there had been any fights they would have been separated a little while and then try again later. You will need to be able to be home for the initial introduction period. You can do it the 'right' way or wing it like I did. You never know how they will react to each other and how much time it will take before you can safely leave them alone together. I will say Paul and I left the trailer the first day for several hours with all of them roaming around, but we knew they weren't going to fight, we had seen the initial interactions and knew they'd most likely just ignore each other. They had staked their claims on their territories at that point, Maude had the living room and the kitchen(which has a litter box) and Attitude and Nuts had the bathroom(which also has a litter box) and bedroom. Also I knew Attitude and Nuts had multiple places they could escape to that Maude couldn't fit her big toe in so I knew if push came to shove(and it never did) they had places they could get to(in almost every room) that were totally inaccessible to Maude in case they needed them.

Like I said you'll have to decide, in my case 2 females meshed better than male and female.

Taryn

 

[seattleeco]

I'd also recommend giving the cats time if you adopt one and they don't seem to get along. Lily (our 4 year-old) and Roger (1 year old now) had a very rough start: Lily actually went anorexic for awhile, and we were terrified that we would either lose her or have to give up Roger. As I type this, 10 months later, they are sleeping together on top of me...it doesn't always work out like this, but I feel really fortunate that my husband and I let the cats work things out for themselves. It's been kind of amazing watching Lily come around, and we made sure to give Roger extra playtime and attention so she could have her space when she wanted it. Just know that even if you set up the introduction perfectly, sometimes it takes awhile for things to click...

 

[darlili]

And, I suggest whatever else you do, tell the first cat how much you love her, how the kitten is her kitten, and shower cat #1 with attention (no matter how adorable the second cat is). Feed Cat 1 first, tell her she's number one in your heart, and do whatever else you can think of to reassure her she hasn't lost her place in your heart and home. Sounds silly, I know, but I think it helps.