Searching for my car Starr

[Kwik]

Luna is doing pretty well. She's eating well. She's definitely looking around the house for her sister, as she's usually quite timid, and she's taken to coming upstairs where the dog is to look around, trying to get in the garage, etc.

We've been having lots of cuddles and she's sleeping on top of my at nighttime. I think this has been helpful for both her and I.

Luna is unfortunately not leash-trained. She's used to being an indoor/outdoor cat, and since Starr went missing, Luna has become an indoor cat not by her choice. I have thought about getting her help to find Starr, and there was one night when I let her out where she ran to some houses, which I interpreted as places Starr might've visited. But I don't know if that's just my imagination.

I have heard of people playing sounds made by the "friends" of the missing cat. I might try that, or put Luna in a kennel to see if that attracts Starr. But I think I need to have a reasonable idea of where Starr is, as I would just be stressing Luna out for no reason if Starr is not in the area.

The issue is definitely having no idea where Starr is.

Please don't let her out to see where she goes-now that you have decided she be an indoor cat only( btw- BRAVO) keep her safe and she'll live her full life expectancy,healthy & happy! It was not by "choice" that strays & ferals ended up living outdoors in the first place-its up to us to choose to protect and care for them in the best possible way( in a forever home)

 

[Mamanyt1953]

You know what, try to touch base with that remote community, just in case. Eight months is pIenty of time to have reset her internaI GPS for that Iocation...and cats have traveIed over 1000 miIes to get back to "home."

 

[Starrlight]

You know what, try to touch base with that remote community, just in case. Eight months is pIenty of time to have reset her internaI GPS for that Iocation...and cats have traveIed over 1000 miIes to get back to "home."

It would take many many days to get there on foot, if she's headed there, she won't even be there yet

 

[heatherwillard0614]

How far away is your old residence from your new residence?

 

[Kwik]

It would take many many days to get there on foot, if she's headed there, she won't even be there yet

Many years ago an exhausted,starving,scrubby looking black cat showed up at my door step-thank God he was wearing a little collar with a name tag and phone number.He was so filthy I couldn't believe my eyes..... after I fed him and gave him water I called the owner- they had moved from FtLauderdale to Tampa Bay,in the process of moving their furniture in tye new house the little fellow slipped out- 2 weeks before I called!
I live near Pompano Beach,about 300 miles from Tampa-over a 3r drive..... The owners both worked and I offered to keep him a few days until the weekend .... he was a delightful house guest,he even liked getting bathed...... it's simply amazing how a cat will stop at nothing to find his territory-he had to travel about 30 miles a day I think.....
Do continue your search and he might very well be hiding in plain sight nearby too- I'm going to continue to pray and look forward good news

 

[Starrlight]

How far away is your old residence from your new residence?

Just under 5000km! I went from Ontario, to the West Coast, back to Ontario. It's possible that she's prowling in my old Ontario neighborhood. But she went missing after being in our new place for around a month, so I don't really understand.

 

[Starrlight]

Many years ago an exhausted,starving,scrubby looking black cat showed up at my door step-thank God he was wearing a little collar with a name tag and phone number.He was so filthy I couldn't believe my eyes..... after I fed him and gave him water I called the owner- they had moved from FtLauderdale to Tampa Bay,in the process of moving their furniture in tye new house the little fellow slipped out- 2 weeks before I called!
I live near Pompano Beach,about 300 miles from Tampa-over a 3r drive..... The owners both worked and I offered to keep him a few days until the weekend .... he was a delightful house guest,he even liked getting bathed...... it's simply amazing how a cat will stop at nothing to find his territory-he had to travel about 30 miles a day I think.....
Do continue your search and he might very well be hiding in plain sight nearby too- I'm going to continue to pray and look forward good news

I hope you're right!

 

[Kwik]

I hope you're right!

Probably a stupid question but I'll ask anyway- she is spayed,right?Not to say ' oh shoulda spayed " but more so " ah,that's what she's up to" and she will return( with extra)

Just asking,didn't see it mentioned . Still praying for little Star to head home to you!

 

[Starrlight]

Probably a stupid question but I'll ask anyway- she is spayed,right?Not to say ' oh shoulda spayed " but more so " ah,that's what she's up to" and she will return( with extra)

Just asking,didn't see it mentioned . Still praying for little Star to head home to you!

She sure is! That said, I've heard of cats that are spayed who needed the surgery done a second time because it was incomplete.

 

[IndyJones]

She sure is! That said, I've heard of cats that are spayed who needed the surgery done a second time because it was incomplete.

Incomplete spaying results in "reminant syndrome" or false heat. The cats act like they are in heat but can't actualy carry a baby. My little girl had reminant syndrome but the vet said since she was so tiny (only about 8 lbs tops full grown) that it wasn't really worth doing an exploritory.

Please keep your cats indoors from now on. I'm in a semi rural area but my neighbour's young daughter (under 10) found her cat covered in blood on the road outside her house.

Where there are people, there are cars.

 

[heatherwillard0614]

Starrlight hi hun just checking in on you. Have you been able to go door to door neighbor houses to ask if anyone has seen her or maybe even brought her inside?
Have you checked where you used to live in Ontario? Have you been able to put up posters with all info and her picture?
Also maybe posting online like Facebook or anything that you may have for around the neighborhood?
I hope Luna is doing ok with her sister not being home for so long. I really hope she can find her way back to you soon..
Please keep us posted.
You, Luna, and Starr are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Starrlight]

Starrlight hi hun just checking in on you. Have you been able to go door to door neighbor houses to ask if anyone has seen her or maybe even brought her inside?
Have you checked where you used to live in Ontario? Have you been able to put up posters with all info and her picture?
Also maybe posting online like Facebook or anything that you may have for around the neighborhood?
I hope Luna is doing ok with her sister not being home for so long. I really hope she can find her way back to you soon..
Please keep us posted.
You, Luna, and Starr are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks for your kindness. I have done almost everything short of breaking into people's yards and garages haha (did look in a few people's yards at nighttime I will confess). Strangely, no one has seen her. She just vanished.

 

[heatherwillard0614]

Thanks for your kindness. I have done almost everything short of breaking into people's yards and garages haha (did look in a few people's yards at nighttime I will confess). Strangely, no one has seen her. She just vanished.

I'm sorry that Starr still hasn't been found. I will continue keeping you, Luna, and Starr in my thoughts and prayers.
I just really want Starr to show up already.. ughhh this sucks. I know this is hard and you are doing all you can. You did call the local shelters right? I'd even call shelters in the next town or state over too if you haven't yet..

 

[Starrlight]

I'm sorry that Starr still hasn't been found. I will continue keeping you, Luna, and Starr in my thoughts and prayers.
I just really want Starr to show up already.. ughhh this sucks. I know this is hard and you are doing all you can. You did call the local shelters right? I'd even call shelters in the next town or state over too if you haven't yet..

Yeah, it does suck. Shitty things happen sometimes, and I'm coming to accept the fact that I might not be able to change the outcome. I hope Star is out there and she's safe and healthy. Our home is open to her if she comes back.

 

[Starrlight]

Not so much an update as continuing of the same thing. I'm getting calls from people, but no positive sightings. Traps are either catching nothing, or skunks. I've stopped leaving food near my house because I don't want to attract wild life that could scare Star away.

The most discouraging part is that I haven't had any sightings. If I had any indications that she's alive and nearby, that would really motivate the search. But hours of searching at all hours of the day with flashlight, talking to neighbors, and postering/flyering later, I've not caught a single glimpse of her.

I even took someone's advice and recorded my other cat meowing, hoping that playing the sound would attract her out. I'm still putting up big posters around the neigborhood, but I also live in such a huge area. Some folks in a nearby (1.8km away) community reported seeing her. Going to the neighborhood, I saw a similar-looking tortie, but lighter-colored. I've continued to look in this neighborhood, but lately I haven't even seen the lookalike.

I've seen the cat that's been caught by my motion-camera. I believe it's an all-black cat that's been lurking in the yard/nearby. I wonder if their presence is preventing my cat from coming back.

There's another woman missing her cat in the same area as I live. Her cat also went missing around the same time.

 

[heatherwillard0614]

Starrlight I just wanted to let you kno

Not so much an update as continuing of the same thing. I'm getting calls from people, but no positive sightings. Traps are either catching nothing, or skunks. I've stopped leaving food near my house because I don't want to attract wild life that could scare Star away.

The most discouraging part is that I haven't had any sightings. If I had any indications that she's alive and nearby, that would really motivate the search. But hours of searching at all hours of the day with flashlight, talking to neighbors, and postering/flyering later, I've not caught a single glimpse of her.

I even took someone's advice and recorded my other cat meowing, hoping that playing the sound would attract her out. I'm still putting up big posters around the neigborhood, but I also live in such a huge area. Some folks in a nearby (1.8km away) community reported seeing her. Going to the neighborhood, I saw a similar-looking tortie, but lighter-colored. I've continued to look in this neighborhood, but lately I haven't even seen the lookalike.

I've seen the cat that's been caught by my motion-camera. I believe it's an all-black cat that's been lurking in the yard/nearby. I wonder if their presence is preventing my cat from coming back.

There's another woman missing her cat in the same area as I live. Her cat also went missing around the same time.

I'm just brainstorming here... you said Starr and another lady's cat went missing around the same time.. could this be coincidence? Maybe.. but I think what would be more likely is someone picked them both up and either took them in or took them somewhere and dropped them off... do you know if there are anymore cats that have went missing from around the time right before Starr went missing until now?

And I can't remember you have contacted local shelters in your immediate area and surrounding areas? I would start at shelters around a 50 mile radius from your house.. although if she did wind up in a shelter I don't think she would stull be there but they should know if she was..

I'm so sorry she hasn't been home. Thus is heart breaking. I was hoping when she went missing that she would wind up back home quickly.. I feel bad for Starr and Luna, and of course you too.

 

[Starrlight]

Starrlight I just wanted to let you kno


I'm just brainstorming here... you said Starr and another lady's cat went missing around the same time.. could this be coincidence? Maybe.. but I think what would be more likely is someone picked them both up and either took them in or took them somewhere and dropped them off... do you know if there are anymore cats that have went missing from around the time right before Starr went missing until now?

And I can't remember you have contacted local shelters in your immediate area and surrounding areas? I would start at shelters around a 50 mile radius from your house.. although if she did wind up in a shelter I don't think she would stull be there but they should know if she was..

I'm so sorry she hasn't been home. Thus is heart breaking. I was hoping when she went missing that she would wind up back home quickly.. I feel bad for Starr and Luna, and of course you too.

I have no idea if it was a coincidence. It's possible. I really have almost no information about what could've happened.

Thanks for your kind words! The worst part of it all is the constant nagging guilt and self-blame. I'm trying to tell myself that what happened was beyond my control. It's a difficult enough situation as it is without the self-punishment.

 

[Starrlight]

I'm also struggling with the advice given by the majority of sites I've visited online. Most of these have a mixture of helpful and unhelpful advice. One thing I really took away with me is to never give up.

At the same time, I'm finding the pressure to carry on this search to be overwhelming. It's difficult to grieve the loss of Star, and to feel the full extent of the uncertainty surrounding whether or not she'll be back. This, coupled with the burn-out I'm starting to feel trying to look for her, thinking about her incessantly, is slowly wearing me down, and wearing down those around me.

Most of my family and my partner are supportive and sympathetic. However, they all believe that I have searched long enough, and that I simply cannot control what happened, and what may or may not happen next. I'm having a hard time accepting what has happened, as well as take charge in continuing to look for her. I want to give up, but feel guilty about giving up on her.

I'm supposed to be moving right now, into a place with a romantic partner. This loss has been hard on my relationship, as she really wants me to let go. But I'm finding it equally excruciatingly painful to hold on to hope and continue searching, and to give up and wait for her to maybe find her way home.

Not sure if anyone's dealt with the intense emotional upheaval I'm describing. Would be interested to hear others' perspectives. I feel like this is the ultimate test of self-compassion, and some days I feel better than others. :\

 

[heatherwillard0614]

I'm also struggling with the advice given by the majority of sites I've visited online. Most of these have a mixture of helpful and unhelpful advice. One thing I really took away with me is to never give up.

At the same time, I'm finding the pressure to carry on this search to be overwhelming. It's difficult to grieve the loss of Star, and to feel the full extent of the uncertainty surrounding whether or not she'll be back. This, coupled with the burn-out I'm starting to feel trying to look for her, thinking about her incessantly, is slowly wearing me down, and wearing down those around me.

Most of my family and my partner are supportive and sympathetic. However, they all believe that I have searched long enough, and that I simply cannot control what happened, and what may or may not happen next. I'm having a hard time accepting what has happened, as well as take charge in continuing to look for her. I want to give up, but feel guilty about giving up on her.

I'm supposed to be moving right now, into a place with a romantic partner. This loss has been hard on my relationship, as she really wants me to let go. But I'm finding it equally excruciatingly painful to hold on to hope and continue searching, and to give up and wait for her to maybe find her way home.

Not sure if anyone's dealt with the intense emotional upheaval I'm describing. Would be interested to hear others' perspectives. I feel like this is the ultimate test of self-compassion, and some days I feel better than others. :\

I have been through something similar but also quite different in the same sense.. I know the guilt, hurt, anger, fear, etc that you are carrying very close to your heart. I can't get into detail at this exact moment. It is a long story and I am busy at the moment.. but I would be willing to share my experience with you.

I want you to know that you have a lot of support in whatever you decide. I will be back on in a little while.

I am so sorry that this happened in the first place. I have been hoping and praying for a happy reunion. I have to jump off here for now I'll be back on later.

Try to take care of yourself. I know it is way harder said than done.. That being said, try to breathe, lean on your partner, lean on Luna too her unconditional love will help. Make sure you are eating and sleeping. Try to take a long hot shower or bath to help you relax, the most important part.. make sure you and your partner are spending quality time together through this that part will really help.. You have to take care of yourself through this rough time and I know the feeling is that it is impossible.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I can only say that it is a very personal choice, that only you and you alone can make. You can't be swayed by the opinion of others, as that could lead to you resenting them down the road, even if you don't think about that right now. And you need to let them know that. There is no easy answer, it has to come from your heart and mind.

I've seen where the OPs on this site just stopped posting, and I am sure that likely means they lost hope and proceeded forward with their lives. I don't know if it means they stopped altogether searching or what might have happened. I have also seen posts where the cat showed up months later and we were lucky enough to receive a post about it.

I am sure that the intense searches became less intense over time - maybe that is something for you to consider as you move forward. It's all about balance.