Scaredy Cat

[chickyandcheese]

I did some searching but couldn't find any items that closely matched my situation, so I apologize if this has already been covered on this forum.

My cat is afraid of the world. We adopted her just over a year ago from a friend and she is the sweetest little snugglebug but she adds new meaning to the word "skittish." When we first brought her home, she spent about a month hiding under our bed and would only come out to eat and use her box when we were asleep. Since then, she has become so much better with us and has become quite a love, though my boyfriend still makes her nervous sometimes (which I get because he's a giant.) However, if anyone new comes into the apartment or if she so much as hears someone new outside the door even, she goes into hiding. Once or twice, I've taken her out from under the bed just after they've left and I can actually feel her little heart pounding until I show her that they're gone (if I don't encourage her to come out, she'll stay there until we go to sleep and the witching hour begins where she eats and runs amuck). With some overnight guests, she'll get a little braver and come out after a couple days, but she won't let them near her. Basically, my boyfriend and I and two guests (who stayed for a week) have ever seen her. I actually feel guilty when we have friends over because it seems so traumatic for her. I guess my question is, will she ever come out of her shell or will guests be a traumatic event for her every time? Is there anything I can do to help her become more comfortable?

A little background on her: she is about 5 years old and I don't know much about her history before she came to us. I know this is at least her 3rd home (and she is here to stay for good) and at one point when she was a kitten, she was found as a stray. Her skittishness and fear of loud noises (even if it's my boyfriend and I laughing) make me think she experienced some abuse at some point. My friend gave her up because their family dog would torment her to the point where she wasn't even able to get to her litter box anymore and was piddling on the floor. Since she is 5 years old, I worry this is just the way things are going to be. Any tips are appreciated!

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't think I'd consider Prozac (which seems to be the anxiety drug of choice for cats) for this cat based on what you've said so far because no drug is wholly without risks, but only you fully appreciate how much this impacts her quality of life and whether it might be worth it. However, there are many OTC calming products available which will be at worst harmless. Beyond that, they say that elevated structures and hidey holes increase cat confidence, and while a massive carpentry project may be beyond you (certainly beyond me!), you can think about adding a large cat tree with a hidey hole.

From a behavioral perspective, if you have a good friend that comes over a lot, perhaps you could enlist them to help. The idea is to show that the doorbell and guests are good, by having the guest give treats, playing with toys, etc... Of course, your cat may be too skittish for a guest to even start working on this so I dunno.

Even some well adjusted cats don't do great with visitors. My wife and I don't tend to entertain in the house, and now that the kids are older, we have fewer visitors. The cats have gotten more skittish of guests as a result, and think my mother and her walker are outright hide all day terrifying. Its not something we work on, because you make progress and then have a handyman working on a project for a week and your back to square one. Your cat is at another level, just saying, its not a rare thing for cats, and you if you can't cure it you shouldn't feel guilty.

The big issue I see for you is what if you need to do some home renovations? Or the neighbors start a noisy project? You might *need* Prozac or an actual tranquilizer to help in that situation. I'd talk to the vet about it now just in case -- some vets want you to try other stuff first, so its like you have to start talking to them now so you aren't in a bad situation later.

 

[maggiedemi]

My two cats were born feral in the woods and they act like this. Their whole world comes to an end when they see a stranger. I don't think there is any way to cure them of this. I just put them in another room when visitors come over with food, water, litterbox, toys and they are fine. I either put them in a bedroom or another room we have that has a gate on it.

 

[catlover73]

My Starbuck is very affectionate with us. If we have company over she generally hides upstairs. I have had Starbuck for 12 years. She just now started letting my cat sitter pet her. We have had the same cat sitter the entire time. Our cat sitter is also a friend so she comes over when we are home too. The last time we went out of town Starbuck peaked out from behind my computer monitor and meowed at our cat sitter. She approached slowly and put out her hand for Starbuck to sniff. Starbuck started petting her hand so she decided to try petting her. Starbuck came out from behind the monitor and sat on my desk to be petted for about 10 minutes. She then went back to hiding behind the monitor again. My cat sitter was totally surprised but was very honored to be allowed to pet Starbuck. If we have strangers in the house though she hides really well.

 

[susanm9006]

My Willow was adopted as a one year old seven years ago and was afraid of everything from paper bags to the furniture and of course me when I brought her home. Gradually she got used to the house and me, but it only takes a strange sound to have her run for cover. And, other than me, she wants little to do with people. My son has lived with me for three years and occasionally she will allow him to pet her for a second but is just as likely to run and hide if he comes near.

But she is a wonderful cat, still playful, never breaks a rule or anything for that matter, excellent litterbox habits, follows me to whatever room I am in and naps next to me. She is who she is and I adore her. I make sure she has lots of comfortable hiding spaces and otherwise ignore the behavior.

 

[orange&white]

She sounds very sweet.

After having many cats, I can look back and think fondly of each one as an individual. They have ranged from the "shyest kitty" who sounds like your girl to the "most socialite kitty" who had to be the center of everyone's attention, including complete strangers. Then most of the kitties were "medium".

Your thread gives me warm memories of my Sweet Little Miss Tess, the shyest one. Tess never outgrew her extreme sense of self-protection, needing to hide away from noises or strangers, but she was such a little gem when everything was quiet and it was just us. She knew she was loved.

Your girl will become everything she is capable of becoming, given her unique and special personality. Enjoy and love her. She knows.

 

[mikameek]

My best friend has a tabby boy just like this! He is the scariest cat in the world, I swear! He freaks out at the door being opened, a shifting sound from another room, the fridge being opened, the tv. You name it, Kovu is probably scared of it.

He doesn't even really enjoy my best friend that much, even though she's had him for 3 years now. He just now has gotten around to trusting her enough to stay by her when she she fills up his food bowl but he wont sleep with her or let her pet him for long. Strangers are deadly too. No one is allowed to touch him.

It might just be how she is!