Scaredy Cat In "new" Home

[Lala2019]

Hi all, hoping to get some help with my kitty. I've had her for about four months now, and when I adopted her she was around one year old.

Her name is lala and she is a beautiful calico kitty. The foundation I adopted her from showed me pictures of her interacting with other cats and being cuddly and playful with humans. They even said she likes to play fetch!

When i brought her home I put her in a room of her own with food, water, a litter box, toys, and boxes to hide in. I have another cat in the house, Annabelle. They are separated entirely, Annabelle does not go in the room lala is in.

I noticed from the beginning it was going to take lala a long time to be comfortable and I was okay with that. However, it is going on four months now and I am getting worried she will never come out of hiding. She is eating and drinking and using the litter box, but only when I am not in the room. If I am in the room she will stay in her box and not let me get close. If I try she hisses and swipes at me and I can tell she is very scared.

At night she is very active. I know because I placed my laptop in the room to record her and i can see she is confidently exploring the room and playing with the toys she has.

Something else that is weird, is about 2 weeks into the adoption she started to let me pet her. She still wouldn't come out of her box but she would let me pet her and she would even slightly lick my hands. That lasted for about a week and then when I tried another time she hissed at me and was visibly shaking. I havent tried to interact with her in awhile, other than sitting in the room and speaking quietly to her. I want to respect her "safe space" and not force my self in there if she is afraid. My plan has been to sit in the room for 30 minutes or so a few times a day and hope that she will come to me. When she is comfortable coming to me is when I planned on introducing her to Annabelle.

Can anyone tell me if I am doing the right thing? Is there anything else I can do to make her more comfortable? From night time recordings I can tell she is a very playful cat with a lot of personality.

Everything I read online says it could take "weeks" for a cat to be acclimated. It's been four months for lala.

 

[ArtNJ]

I would try to spend longer in there than 30 minutes at a time. If you are able to get your entertainment from your laptop or a book, you can spend that time in there. The more time the better. Even better if you could sleep in there.

Many cats can initially only be petted in a special spot. It is good that you want to respect her wishes, but you need to figure out a way to determine if she is willing to be petted. I suggest getting close and clicking your tongue when you want to pet her. Stick your fist about 8 inches from her, gradually get closer and see if she will bump your fist. If allowed, pet side of head and neck, not straight on. Make the clicking noise while doing so. The hope would be that she will understand the clicking noise as a signal for getting petted. Stage 2 would be you making the signal while on the bed.

Four months is indeed quite a while. Some people here have had it take that long and maybe they will chime in. You may get to the point where you need to try something else. There is feliway and other herbal relaxants but I'm not sure which have any science/validity to them. Some swear by them and folks may chime in with what has worked for them. You could also try gradually moving the special box closer to where you hang out on the bed over a few days. If all else fails, maybe your vet would consider a tiny dose of a relaxant.

 

[Lala2019]

Artnj,
Thank you. I think your suggestion of spending more time in the room is good. I was thinking of moving my computer and bed into the room so maybe I will try that tonight.

 

[ArtNJ]

I forgot to mention treats. Have you tried using treats at all? Just give them to her in the box at first. Maybe make a clicking noise while you do so. Or shaking the treat bag first works great too. Gradually place them a bit further from the box (still with the noise). Eventually, you can hopefully her her on the bed you will move in there with treats.

 

[Lala2019]

I've also tried treats, yes. I would put them in her box at first and after she ate them I had a trail of them from her box to various points in the room. She wouldn't leave the box or even show interest in the treats until I left the room however

 

[Lala2019]

I can safely move her (while shes in the box) to another room if I wanted to. Would it be a bad idea to put her box and everything she needs in the room I already sleep in? My room is bigger than the room she is in now so it would overall just be easier and more comfortable for us both

 

[ArtNJ]

I can safely move her (while shes in the box) to another room if I wanted to. Would it be a bad idea to put her box and everything she needs in the room I already sleep in? My room is bigger than the room she is in now so it would overall just be easier and more comfortable for us both

That might be a reasonable thing to do. It will likely cause some stress, but long term your ability to comfortably spend more time in the room with her is probably the bigger deal.

 

[Furballsmom]

Along with the terrific advice you've already gotten, there might be something here to help, and also, moving her might help from the aspect that it sounds to me as though something might have scared her when she stopped letting you pet her - or did you have a different smelling hand lotion on that day perhaps?;

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[aliceneko]

My cats were semi-feral when I adopted them, and were terrified of humans. It took them a couple of weeks to come around to me, though I sat by their cage and played with them (I bought a lot of toys for them beforehand) for about an hour or so at a time. They quickly came around to me afterwards. Toys, especially fluffy wands and catnip mice, are great stimulants and help with the human/feline bonding process greatly, or at least for me! Once we got playing Toffee and Fudge let me stroke them and pet them, and now, almost two years down the line, they're happy and content lap cats. It just takes time and a lot of TLC

 

[ArtNJ]

Ah yes, we forgot toys! As aliceneko mentioned, they can definitely help. I suggest lure/ribbon toys and laser pointers that don't require you to get too close at first.

 

[jefferd18]

I applaud your approach of talking softly to her and I agree with the others that it should be longer or more frequent.

When I befriended Jeff, I would take a few steps in her direction,(never looking at her directly!), quickly put out her food and milk and then I would leave. We physically got a little bit closer every few days. I never deviated from that routine, not even by one step. She learned that she could trust me not to make any sudden advances on her. And she always had an escape route which made her feel more secure. After five and a half months, we became friends, after seven years together, we were best friends.

 

[Lala2019]

Thank you all for the advice. I've successfully moved her to my room and she doesnt seem too bothered.

I do have toys for her, the ribbons and balls on a wand type as well as little balls for her to knock around on her own. I've tried using the wands with her and all she does is look at me like I'm crazy, lol!

I've also been playing "soothing cat music" I find on YouTube along with nature images on my laptop and that seems to calm her down quite a bit as well.

I'm hopeful moving her to my room will help her get used to me a little better. I'll be sure to keep you all updated with any progress I make. Getting her used to me is only half the battle, as I am positive introducing her to my other cat is going to be just as slow and difficult as this has been.

Heres a picture of her from a few months ago when I caught her outside her box relaxing on a chair I had in her room.

 

[jefferd18]

Thank you all for the advice. I've successfully moved her to my room and she doesnt seem too bothered.

I do have toys for her, the ribbons and balls on a wand type as well as little balls for her to knock around on her own. I've tried using the wands with her and all she does is look at me like I'm crazy, lol!

I've also been playing "soothing cat music" I find on YouTube along with nature images on my laptop and that seems to calm her down quite a bit as well.

I'm hopeful moving her to my room will help her get used to me a little better. I'll be sure to keep you all updated with any progress I make. Getting her used to me is only half the battle, as I am positive introducing her to my other cat is going to be just as slow and difficult as this has been.

Heres a picture of her from a few months ago when I caught her outside her box relaxing on a chair I had in her room. View attachment 296434

She is one gorgeous girl. I think you made the right decision in moving her to your room. I would also suggest that you put an unwashed shirt of your's down in a place where she likes to sleep, something that has your scent on it.