Condolences on your loss of Billy. He was so beautiful - looks very much like a feral kitten named Bob that is living with me. Maybe writing down some of his cat antics, or a poem about how you are feeling will help you in your healing process. When I lost my Miss Tobie, I plinked out a simple tune on the piano and made a song that I sang over & over. Please let us know how you are doing! Try to remember that this too shall pass and Krazy Kat 2 is right about lots of other kitties in need. I've lost many loved ones in my past, cat, horse, human and when I lost Miss Tobie, I thought that I was too scared to ever love again, and after losing custody of my grandson to his abusive father, I was too tired, too weak; but my brain-damaged daughter bought me two kittens, Joey & JC, and well, the rest is history......susan