Rough Play & When to Intervene

hybriseris

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Hi all. This will be a novel so thank you to anyone who offers their expertise.

I have a separate ongoing thread about my introductions with these two, but it's gotten very long and this is a separate issue so I thought I'd ask for input.

I have been around cats most of my life, but have little experience with two in the same house, so I find myself often questioning what I see. Frankly, I am a little upset and overwhelmed by some of the behavior and would like to know if I'm just doing that to myself. 😉

I have Shadow, a 9 year old Maine Coon mix. He is small (around nine pounds) but MIGHTY. Feral for two years, scrappy. Big love, but can be fiesty and loves to play.

I adopted Ghost in March. He is two, and while I'm unsure of his current weight, he is much bigger and heavier than Shadow.

Due to having to quarantine Ghost for a respiratory infection, the real intro process didn't start until April, so from start to finish its been about three months. They are now out together 24/7 (except when I get too nervous about leaving them alone, as you'll see), and are making good progress. Not perfect, but progress. I have a more experienced cat friend who stayed with me for a few days and described Ghost as a "little drama king" because he's so unsure around Shadow, and overreacts to a lot of what Shadow does, which I'm sure plays in to things.

I'm not sure about some of their play. A lot of it consists of chasing (99% of the time, Shadow chasing Ghost who has tons of spots to get up high or hide behind so he can feel confident, but occasionally I do spot Ghost getting brave and trying to 'hunt' Shadow tho he doesn't know what to do when he gets closer lol). This often ends once Shadow gets tired and goes to lay down.

But there are some days where Shadow plays rougher and I really don't know what I'm seeing. This rough play consists of:
- pouncing on Ghost and grabbing the back of his neck, at which point both of them go perfectly still and quiet until Ghost manages to schooch away
- flipping Ghost on to his back or side and biting his side or neck, which gets me alarmed because Ghost snarls until I separate them

When either of these are happening, Shadow makes *no* noise. Ghost is the only one being vocal. Shadow has his ears forward, tail straight up or straight out, and always comes straight on and doesn't get puffy with his fur so I am pretty sure he isn't being aggressive. I have seen him play this rough with other cats who enjoyed it and then lay down with them immediately after. The problem is that it also appears he won't stop even though Ghost is screeching, and even when I gently separate them with a broom or the baby gate, I have to escort Shadow away because he is so honed in on Ghost. Once early on, Shadow got a mouthful of Ghost's hair, but otherwise none of these incidents has drawn blood or even that much fur before I intervene. I am however, deeply concerned one of them will hurt the other or this will happen when I am not around to stop it. (I do trim their claws, and Shadow was trapped with 60% of his teeth missing, but from experience his remaining teeth still function quite well LOL)

After these incidents where Ghost snarls and I separate them, they generally go about their business as if nothing happened. I appear to be the only one freaked out. Ghost will go on his tree or play with a toy or go back to looking out the window, Shadow will do the same. Shadow can walk by Ghost as if he doesn't exist much of the time, and Ghost has gotten much more comfortable when he does so and reaches out to sniff him.

I guess I'm wondering if any of this is abnormal, TOO rough/aggressive, when or when not to intervene, if I should increase my anxiety meds because I'm being a hover-owner, etc etc LOL

For the record, I try to play with them both 20 - 40 minutes a day over a few sessions which often helps, but some days Shadow has energy in his schedule for both play with toys AND wrestling his new, nervous younger brother..

I have attached some pictures, and will upload some videos of what they typically look like when chasing.
 

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susanm9006

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It is normal play between two cats and it really doesn’t require your intervention. They are friends having a good time and having a human break it up is stressful and confusing. They will adapt to each other far better on their own. If their noise is starting to get on your nerves you can distract with treats or toys but otherwise let them have fun.
 

susanm9006

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It all looks like normal play and a game of chase. The stalking is also play and and attempt to get a game going. The cat being stalked isnt showing fear or concern.
 
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hybriseris

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It all looks like normal play and a game of chase.
For sure. That I'm not concerned about - it's more the flipping/biting with my newer cat shrieking that worries me.
 

susanm9006

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Unless there is fur flying it is still probably play but if you can catch it on video for us that would help
 
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hybriseris

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Unless there is fur flying it is still probably play but if you can catch it on video for us that would help
Ha, I figured. 😅 Next time it happens I'll definitely try to stop myself long enough to catch some video. I do have some security cam footage that didn't see them, but you can hear the sound my newer one is making - don't know if that's at all helpful. But I'll try to catch video too.
 

DreamerRose

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If there is hissing and growling, it's gone too far. That's when I step in. Mingo is the aggressor at my house.
 
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