Roommate neglects their cat, what can I do?

[Snowdrop]

I been living with this roommate for 7 months now, and she has a cat that she has literally given up responsibility of and has dumped him onto me (quite literally). I feel like I'm being forced into a pet ownership that I never agreed to. I'm over expending myself to the point I cannot afford to feed myself anymore as I'm taking care of HER cat. She refuses to buy any food for him, cat litter, toys, or even get him fixed or take him to the vet even though she can afford it (she just never does it). Her cat has also caused me over 1000$ in personal property damages, some of which cannot be replaced, and I'm at a total loss of what to do anymore.

My roommate locks her cat out of her room for several days at a time withholding food and water from her pet, and she never leaves her room to even clean his cat litter. I tend to leave out of town for two weeks of the month to help my mother as she's disabled and needs help when her main caregiver isn't able to be there. I always come back to the apartment WORSE than when I left, to the point of being able to smell the cat pee from the hallway of the apartment complex. I'm so stressed out knowing my roommate is literally living in a pile of trash and doesn't even bother to feed her cat for literal days to weeks at a time and SPCA says it isn't their problem because I'm taking care of HER cat at the detriment to my own financial circumstances and mental health. I can't lose the apartment due to her being a shit pet owner as I would literally be homeless.

I have spent over 200$ now on her cat over the few months I've lived here. It just feels like she dumped the cat on me and figures it's not her problem anymore. She has no financial responsibility to him as I'm even now paying the pet fee in our lease for him, so is he just mine now? Is the cat mine now and can I do what I wish? which is being a responsible owner (which she refuses to be) and get him fixed and possibly keep him, or would he be better off placed into a different home?

I won't let an animal suffer such extreme neglect as she's inflicting on the poor thing. He's such a sweet boy, but he's so extremely timid. I feel like I'm being forced into a pet ownership that I never agreed to. I'm considering just simply taking her cat from her to give him to the SPCA so that the poor thing can go to a family or person who will actually love him and take care of him and give him the attention he desperately needs since she's completely failing to do any of that at all in any respect and I simply cannot do it without it taking a huge toll on my own mental health.

 

[di and bob]

Bless you, for helping that poor creature. You might want to look around and try to find a home for it, it sounds like it is your cat now since she is so irresponsible. Have you asked her if she wants you to do that, tell her it is very apparent she doesn't love the cat. That precious animal deserves better than that You are paying the pet fee for its care. If she moves out with the cat, there is no guarantee anything would be different, it would starve. If you don't want the poor creature the best thing is to find it a good home. Facebook is good, but make sure the person is legit and not someone that would sell it to a drug company or hurt it. I'm sure the SPCA is full to the max, but if you decide on them, make sure they are no kill.....

 

[Alldara]

I would find the cat another home. You can contact cat rescues in your area (ensure not PETA - they have kill shelter rates of death even though they are "no kill".)

If you have the receipts for the cat, especially any vet bills then yes most places would consider the cat to be yours.

Withholding food and water from a cat is extremely dangerous. After three days without food the cat could become seriously ill and die. That is not neglect, that is abuse.

After you rehome the cat, I would suggest you write a letter to the landlord and to your roommate, mail them (for the post date, best to mail yourself a copy too. All letters should be identical) and let them know that you do not consent to living with further animals and any future pet will be your roommates and she will pay the cost. It's not legally binding, but it's a good push. In the same letter you can let the landlord know that there's no pet currently living there.

Yes you can get him fixed, etc. However, if he continues living with you she does have the opportunity at any point just to leave with him or rehome him herself, whether or not you're the owner.

Most places do not really deal with or care with these types of issues on a police front.

 

[FeebysOwner]

In addition to looking into rescue centers, if you have the Next Door Neighbor web site, you can ask for advice and help from cat lovers in your surrounding neighborhood. Many of them are already involved with some of the local rescue centers which might be of benefit. If you don't want to share too many details in your general post, you can give basics and ask if anyone would be interested in offering advice through private messaging.

 

[cmshap]

I'm going to just add another kind of comment to this thread, that is outside the realm of this forum, but I feel like I have to bring it up.

Is your roommate possibly having mental health issues? This behavior really strikes me as possibly indicative of a mental health problem. Like possibly major depression.

Somebody dealing with a mental health crisis that endangers a pet should definitely NOT keep custody of that pet, so you are doing a great thing by trying to maintain the situation. But if there is at all any possibility of having a conversation about this, please try.

I've seen this happen... Often the condition of pets is directly demonstrative of an owners mental health state. Especially when depression is involved.

 

[cmshap]

I'm going to just add another kind of comment to this thread, that is outside the realm of this forum, but I feel like I have to bring it up.

Is your roommate possibly having mental health issues? This behavior really strikes me as possibly indicative of a mental health problem. Like possibly major depression.

Somebody dealing with a mental health crisis that endangers a pet should definitely NOT keep custody of that pet, so you are doing a great thing by trying to maintain the situation. But if there is at all any possibility of having a conversation about this, please try.

I've seen this happen... Often the condition of pets is directly demonstrative of an owners mental health state. Especially when depression is involved.

I just mean to say, not to pressure you because this isn't your job, but make at least a little effort (if you feel comfortable) in asking your roommate about potential mental health issues. But I understand, as a person who has HAD such issues, you can't just ask everyone and get a real answer.

Try to make an attempt if your roommate is someone you care about. But I don't know anything about your relationship, and I am really not trying to derail this thread in another direction. I just can't read what you wrote without saying this stuff, as a suggestion, given my history.

If your roommate is someone you really don't know this well, then don't take my words as pressure. For me, this is like a "see something, say something" situation which may not apply to you. Just consider it.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

If you are solely responsible for buying the food, litter, toys for this cat, and providing for his health care, and you have paid the pet deposit, then in the eyes of the law, you are the owner of that cat. Only you can decide if you should keep him or rehome him, but if you have to leave frequently to assist your mother, and she won't take care of him, in this case, rehoming might be best. You can look for a home yourself, or if you think your roommate might object, then consider surrendering him to a rescue or no-kill shelter. You don't need to give them details about why, and I'd think a simple, "My mother needs my help. She is out of town, and I cannot depend on my roommate to care for him" will do it.

 

[GranolaLouise]

In addition to looking into rescue centers, if you have the Next Door Neighbor web site, you can ask for advice and help from cat lovers in your surrounding neighborhood. Many of them are already involved with some of the local rescue centers which might be of benefit. If you don't want to share too many details in your general post, you can give basics and ask if anyone would be interested in offering advice through private messaging.

I am ALWAYS on nextdoor.com and I read all the time about animals finding new homes. I highly urge you to sign up and post to your local neighborhoods to get this little one and you some help.
But have you actually sat fown with your roommate and really talked about a plan for the kitty's future? It is not fair to him at all....nor you. Without a good honest conversation and a plan, things will just go on as is.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ I agree that you should rehome this kitty. After that you should get a new roommate.
Be careful of the website NextDoor ! Many who try to find homes for pets are shamed and ridiculed. Be prepared ...
Good luck

 

[GranolaLouise]

[QUOTE="JamesCalifornia, post: 5657236, member: 102720"
Be careful of the website NextDoor ! Many who try to find homes for pets are shamed and ridiculed. Be prepared ...

[/QUOTE]
Depends on the community you live in, as does everything.

 

[Cat McCannon]

Keep the cat

Get rid of the roomate

Anyone that neglectful isn't someone you want around

Thanks for caring for the cat. Cats are good for the soul

 

[reba]

Bless you for taking care of the poor kitty.

I'm gonna push back a bit on the kill shelter/no-kill shelter label. A no-kill shelter is one that limits the type of animals it will take in and pushes the dirty work off on shelters that are required to take any animal that is surrendered or turned over by animal control. Try call your local rescue to hand over a cat that has some behavioral problems. They're perfectly fine with rejecting that cat and letting it be euthanized in a quote, unquote "kill shelter". Nuff said.

Honestly I wouldn't overthink it. I'll take what you say at face value. And trust me, from what you've said, discussing getting rid of the cat with the roommate would generate absolutely no exploration about the cat, the cat's well being, our responsibilities with respect to pets, or adulting. There will be no good honest conversation. There will be no meeting of the minds. You cannot write letters to this person about landlords and pets and expect they will comply. What if then can't comply? What are you going to do, hire an attorney?
I assume your living with the person because you have to and can't move. You have a mother to take care of.

What are you most worried about?

 

[JamesCalifornia]

A no-kill shelter is one that limits the type of animals it will take in and pushes the dirty work off on shelters that are required to take any animal that is surrendered or turned over by animal control.

~ Sad but true. The manager of my local city animal shelter told me : "There's no such thing as a no-kill animal shelter. "

 

[reba]

This is a major pet-peeve of mine. It's a fiction as he said and it's robbed shelters who euthanize of funding. I watched an abusive man walk into a shelter with a cat rolled up in a rug and try to surrender it. They said they were full and we don't euthanize. In retrospect I should have taken the cat from him and left with it, but I was young and not as assertive. But the real problem is that the purity posse at the no-kill shelter decided it was fine if they handed this cat over to a crazed abuser. He had two women with him and they looked terrified.

 

[Alldara]

Or as KittenLady herself says, "Any shelter can become a 'no kill' shelter with enough funding and community support."

Yes, all shelters have to euthanize at a certain point. I think 'no kill' means they euthanize for medical reasons only. However, depending on the funding of the clinic, that can also mean different things.

Cats with nervousness or behavioural issues can do better at rescues with in-home care sometimes.

 

[reba]

If I only accept dogs in my shelter, I can absolutely guarantee you I will not euthanize any cats. This does not make my shelter a saver of homeless cats, quite the opposite in fact.

All we are arguing here is whether a there are actually no-kill shelters. I’m arguing that no-kill shelters cherry-pick the cats they are willing to take and then claiming they are taking the high-road and (worse) demonizing the publicly funded shelters by labeling them and the people who work at them as heartless cat-killers. We need as many places as possible to address this problem. What we don’t need is people creating needless divisions between the work that rescues v. shelters do to help homeless animals.

Our shelter here is actually a private shelter that runs on its endowment and fund-raising. It needs people to take in, say, mother cats with litters and people to bottle feed. It has infrastructure, a staff, an on-site low-cost spay-neuter clinic and the legitimacy to negotiate deals with pet food manufacturers for (say) kitten formula and pet food. Labeling it as a “kill shelter” only hurts it’s ability to recruit volunteers. The rescues are great, but they are loosely organized.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Probably won't help the debate, but -
No-kill shelter - Wikipedia

 

[reba]

I think that lays out the debate and the complexity of the problem pretty well. The definition of success is to reduce the need for euthanasia of companion animals as much as possible - period. Whether a shelter euthanizes or not tells you nothing about whether it is getting us closer or farther away from that goal. It prevents the discussion from centering on fact-finding and problem-solving and instead reduces it to some “good versus evil” problem where all we need do is pick a side.

 

[lucyrima]

Well, all the talk and opinions re no-kill shelters is fine, but what about the OP and her roomie's cat? What happened to it/them? Would be great to hear something now!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Another thread that has kind of deviated. And, sadly Snowdrop hasn't been back on this site since they first posted.