Resident cat won't stop fighting/playing with new cat

[Alldara]

It's pretty normal what you're experiencing.

Even in the future, you should play with each cat behind a closed door from the others to get a full play experience, otherwise one can become a "wallflower".

Our cats are pretty bonded. They play with and groom one another daily. But we still have playtime for them that is separate.

When he was eating earlier, you taught NC that you don't take another's food. It might take some more teaching but you can continue this and RC will learn to eat in peace.

 

[Qili]

ah i see. makes sense.

i guess the moral of the story right now is that we, as pet parents, just need to be more patient and not get frustrated or lose hope! will keep up the positive energy as to not let the kitties feel the negativity.

 

[Alldara]

ah i see. makes sense.

i guess the moral of the story right now is that we, as pet parents, just need to be more patient and not get frustrated or lose hope! will keep up the positive energy as to not let the kitties feel the negativity.

It's hard! Introductions are stressful and exhausting.

But if you had a new roommate and you were literally building a language of communication, you had different cultures and backgrounds....well you'd expect some bumps in the road too. That's what's going on with your cats.

 

[Qili]

Little update: both kitties very confused by the screen thing over the door!

I didn’t realize how scared NC is to the RC.. she would quickly scurry away when RC is approaching the doorway. Hopefully this will help her gain some confidence

 

[dividedsky]

It sounds and looks like these too are doing pretty good. I think that having a safe space for new cat to retreat or get up high is important. The "fighting" sounds a lot more like playing to me. It there was bloodshed or cat fur every where that would be a different story.

I would let them be together while you are home and separate them at night or while you are away if you remain concerned.

 

[Qili]

It sounds and looks like these too are doing pretty good. I think that having a safe space for new cat to retreat or get up high is important. The "fighting" sounds a lot more like playing to me. It there was bloodshed or cat fur every where that would be a different story.

I would let them be together while you are home and separate them at night or while you are away if you remain concerned.

NC was so happy and confident when the screen went up! She wasn’t in her usually hiding spots anymore and had zoomies & made the cutest noises & stretched out all around the apt - seemed like she was finally herself. I don’t know that it was all play if there’s such a stark difference between her behavior pre and post screen door! :/

 

[dividedsky]

NC was so happy and confident when the screen went up! She wasn’t in her usually hiding spots anymore and had zoomies & made the cutest noises & stretched out all around the apt - seemed like she was finally herself. I don’t know that it was all play if there’s such a stark difference between her behavior pre and post screen door! :/

Oh good! It can really be hard to tell in situations like this. It sounds like you are on the right path.

 

[Alldara]

NC was so happy and confident when the screen went up! She wasn’t in her usually hiding spots anymore and had zoomies & made the cutest noises & stretched out all around the apt - seemed like she was finally herself. I don’t know that it was all play if there’s such a stark difference between her behavior pre and post screen door! :/

Could still be play she wasn't ready for.


In am SO glad the screen door is doing her good

 

[Qili]

Yasss! Im trying to positively associate the NC with many treats and playtime. Anything else you guys would recommend I do/try?

 

[Alldara]

I think you're on the right path!

I like playing a purring sound when they're together as that can be associated with being in a litter together.

 

[Qili]

It sounds and looks like these too are doing pretty good. I think that having a safe space for new cat to retreat or get up high is important. The "fighting" sounds a lot more like playing to me. It there was bloodshed or cat fur every where that would be a different story.

I would let them be together while you are home and separate them at night or while you are away if you remain concerned.

We have backed up the intros and have had them separated behind screen doors with visuals for about 3 days… we let them interact for a few times today and the only focus the RC was to chase NC under the couch or under the kitchen island and circle around to ensure she doesn’t come out from her hiding spot. I almost feel like the cold turkey separation has set them back bc it was not this bad before?

Unsure how to proceed from here. Should I start from the top and have them separated behind closed doors or have them together when we can supervise and apart when we cannot? I know 4 weeks is no time at all, but Im feeling so discouraged/stressed as I feel like it’s getting worse

 

[Alldara]

So RC is VERY excited about NC. That's very normal.

3 days with the screen may not have been enough. Were you able to play with RC with the screen? Or was he focused on NC and spent the time watching.

That focus of play would be fine if NC was ready for it.

For my recent intros, our cats did some impressive gate hopping. So I ended up playing with NC while RC explored and sniffed NC area. Does he sniff all over her area during site swaps?

 

[Qili]

Both kitties were able to play on either side of the screen !

RC does sniff her safe room but its very brief.

 

[Qili]

So it's been over a week of separation & positive associations, and we let the 2 kitties interact physically 2 times yesterday and today. I felt like there was progress during the first interaction yesterday where RC was able to get distracted and didn't play/fight with the NC until 5 mins later. However, this morning, RC would NOT stop terrorizing and stalking/hunting/biting/pouncing NC and we had to separate them just minutes later. It seems like RC had gotten even more aggressive... any tips or suggestions on where to proceed from here? Should I leave the door open with the screen on or door closed & keep trying to create positive associations? ANY help is much appreciated.

 

[Alldara]

So it's been over a week of separation & positive associations, and we let the 2 kitties interact physically 2 times yesterday and today. I felt like there was progress during the first interaction yesterday where RC was able to get distracted and didn't play/fight with the NC until 5 mins later. However, this morning, RC would NOT stop terrorizing and stalking/hunting/biting/pouncing NC and we had to separate them just minutes later. It seems like RC had gotten even more aggressive... any tips or suggestions on where to proceed from here? Should I leave the door open with the screen on or door closed & keep trying to create positive associations? ANY help is much appreciated.

Yes keep making positive associations and remove RC when gets too rough. Perhaps a longer break before trying to get back at it is needed.

Does RC have kicker toys that you can encourage use of? Get that wrestle energy out!

 

[Qili]

Yeah- we’ve tried many diff toys and it seems like he has unlimited energy haha

 

[Alldara]

Yeah- we’ve tried many diff toys and it seems like he has unlimited energy haha

The reason I suggest some good kicker wrestles, is because that wrestle energy is really specific. That's what boys sometimes try to do with other cats, and they can but not as roughly as with a toy.

Even now I have to really wrestle with Calcifer once in awhile when he gets that way. I use an oven mitt that looks very different from my kitchen ones so I can slip my hand away.

I understand completely about the unlimited energy. Magnus is only calmer now at 3, with daily walks and two energetic younger cats to play with.

 

[Alldara]

But yes with the kicker, I don't mean just laying around. Really getting him to fight it.

 

[Qili]

Ah I see. Wait, are there specific toys you’d recommend?

 

[Alldara]

Ah I see. Wait, are there specific toys you’d recommend?

Anything big enough that you can grab to keep wiggling it as they attack it.
I get mine from a local seller on Etsy.