Resident cat feels affected by the recently stray brought in

[panther n river]

Hi everyone!

In a previous post months ago, I consulted about my boy, River, that I had adopted from a rescue as a companion for my lil' Panther. They both bonded really soon and before a week they were playing, and sharing everything from bowls to litter boxes. On another recent post I also commented about this poor stray boy who chose us to be his family, so we brought him inside the house and had him tested, vaccinated, and neutered. That was just this week!

My girl, lil' Panther has taken him in with no problem, she showed more resistance when I first brought River in, but with this one even when he's separated in another room, she's been very curious about him and likes to go with me when I go check him out in the room.

The problem now is, my boy River hasn't taken the idea of having another male cat sibling very happily.  I'm doing the transition exchanging blankets between them and brushing them with the same brush. That has had some improvement, River now doesn't hiss at the blankets or the brush when they smell like "the intruder", but when he gets close to the room where the other cat is he hisses, growls, and his tail turns in angry mode.

He has come a long way with us, at first he was scared of everyone and everything, after 10 months he's more outgoing and trusting on us, but this new cat situation has set him back. I see him sad and he has backed away from us. He is such a sweet boy who loves to be treated as a baby but this situation has really affected him.

How can I reinforce his trust on us and the fact that our love for him will never change, and how can I make the transition smoother so he finally accepts the new boy in?

Also, River and Panther are around the same age, I adopted them at 8 and 7 months respectively and this new one is around 9-12 months, if that has anything to do? or the fact that is a male?

Should I pay River more attention now than usual?

 

[sivyaleah]

It sounds like things are going pretty well and as expected considering the circumstance.  I would pay as much attention to River as possible, and keep his routine consistent with what it was before.  Playing with him to build up his confidence about the newcomer being in his territory probably will help, as will fussing over him with physical attention if he enjoys that.  Making sure there are plenty of areas for him to escape to if needed are a good thing also - cat trees, hiding spaces, etc.  You can also try feeding them treats near each other so River begins to associate that being near the new guy means good things happen.

As long as there is no actual fighting between them, it's just a matter of time before River gets used to the 3rd one (name?  You didn't mention).  

Also, how is Panther doing in all of this?  I'd suspect if she is ok, that might help River also - seeing her not be stressed about the new one.  

As you know it does take time.  When we got our second cat, our first one's personality changed for a while, and we had the same concerns as you.  He became somewhat aloof with us, and stopped playing a particular bed time game he invented with us.  But, in the end, between keeping his routine the same, and working with him to realize the addition didn't mean anything was different for him, he came around, as I'm sure River will too.  He just needs to figure it out and it may take a couple more weeks for him to get there.

 

[panther n river]

Thank you! I really appreciate your comment. No fighting until now. Only hissing and growling a little bit. I think he's more scared than aggressive. Except the first day he sprayed around the new one litter box when we were gone to the vet.

We can't agree on the name for the new boy, my husband calls him lil' Tiger (being an orange blotched tabby with a tuxedo pattern, tabby mom, black tuxedo dad), my son named him Apple Pie, and I call him Pastelito (Spanish for Pie) because he is sweet enough to give you a diabetic comma, this new guy is so loving and in need of so much love and attention, he hasn't show any aggression either. I thinks he just wants to be accepted. Panther and Apple Pie are doing well, as I mentioned she's really curious about the new guy and she has laid over her back with him which IMO means she trusts him.

It is River's change emotionally that has me worried. He is really sensitive so I know with him everything must be slow and consistent. He is really a good cat but he is oversensitive to any unknown or changing circumstance. He enjoys sleeping with us and loves being treated as a baby. He loves to "kill" feather toys so, I think I will go and buy him new ones (they last a week tops with him). Yesterday I fed them in line, Panther in the middle and River and Apple Pie on opposite sides. River ate but cautiously without removing his sight from the new guy. This morning I fed them opposite sides of the door. At first he was reluctant to eat but then I served him some dry food mixed with treats and he ate.

I think I will probably have to be patient and understand it won't be as easier for him as it was when he first got here, he was the new one and in less than 5 days Panther had accepted him already. But now he is the resident and being as he is, it probably will take him more. I just hate seeing him depressed and distancing himself from us. Last night, he didn't jump in bed with me :'( but today he's here by my side he also always greets my husband when he comes from work and the whole week he hasn't paid attention to my husband and doesn't come when he's called either.