Rescued A 'hoarder' Kitten: Resident Cat Being Stubborn

[amaruuk]

Hey again all!

So I found a kitty to adopt, and brought her home 5 days ago.
She was in a hoarding and abusive situation, so the 6m old new kitty looooooves other kitties, terrified of people.

I've progressed with her (all set up in the bathroom) to where she's now playing, eating more and lets me pet her without cringing. The work with her is going pretty well actually, as I got a purr out of her this morning when I pet her!!

The issue is my resident cat, Petunia.
8yr old female, stubborn as they come. Sweet, cuddle bug, fearful of what's in the bathroom honestly, nervous around strangers.

Who will NOT go near the bathroom door. At all still.
Yes, I know it's only been 5 days, but the kitten is used to being around over 50 other cats, and yowls for company after too long alone. I don't want to amp up her anxiety (she has a prescription for it), and from what I've read, kitties like this shouldn't be kept isolated too long. From what I've read, she needs the company of a kitty.

Now, I've tried swapping toys, Petunia (resident) ignores them. I've tried moving her food bowl closer to the bathroom door (where the new cat is quarantined), and she'll just stop eating. Entirely. When I started moving it closer, she went 2 days with no food. I've tried playing with her favorite toy there, even getting a new toy with catnip - if it's near that door, she walks away. Even treats, once they get close enough to that door, she will ignore and stay away from.

How on earth do I get my Petunia to ease up and relax enough to start being curious about the new kitty?

To be fair, Rose (the new girl) escaped out the bathroom because she heard Petunia on day 3, and with tail in the air made a beeline for who she must've considered an ally. Petunia hunched down, ears flat, hissing, spitting, growling and when Rose kept walking towards her, batted at her as well. Petunia is *not* a fan yet, let's say.

I have Feliway running in the apartment.
I have those 'calming' treats for Petunia.
I've tried food (huge motivator for her), scent swapping, toys, catnip, treats - ugh I don't know what to do to start moving Petunia towards accepting the new kitty. The only progress here is that I don't have to wash my hands and change my clothes after seeing Rose now, and Petunia will hesitatingly come close to me.

I even have anti-anxiety meds for the kitten that I'm starting to get tempted to give a smattering of to Petunia just to calm her fat ass down.

If this was a well socialized kitty in the bathroom, not particularly in need of a new companion, I wouldn't be feeling a bit frantic right now.
But Rose's mews can be intense and heartbreaking to hear, knowing she's calling out for company.

I visit Rose about every 2 hours right now - never when she's calling, so I don't accidentally encourage it - and I can get her to pause the yowling by playing with her and bringing food.

I'm just a bit at a loss as to how to push Petunia a bit to get closer to that door - or am I approaching that wrong? Should I be swapping blankets out more, putting them everywhere out here so Petunia *can't* avoid them?

I did have Rose out in the living room, and Petunia in the bedroom, when Rose initially escaped so the kitten could run off some energy - do you think it's too soon to do that for more than just an hour? Or might that be a better way to 'scent swap', kind of forcing Petunia to deal and not allow her to just avoid it?

Any ideas on how to get Petunia on board would be much appreciated!
She's as stubborn as they come, this one, though super sweet once she decides it's what she wants.

This is Rose, and Petunia (looking abjectly horrified)

 

[susanm9006]

Try putting the kitten in a carrier and setting it out where Petunia see and smell her for a few minutes a couple times a day, and then try gradually increasing the time. If Petunia starts to settle down you can then try letting the kitten out of the carrier under your close watch.

 

[amaruuk]

That's actually not possible right now. The kitten still can't be handled yet. I'd traumatize her and undo the progress I've made with her trust in trying to force that.

I tried putting up 2 baby gates in the doorway too, one on top of the other, and the kitten jumped right on top of them before me standing there scared her back down. And when the door opens, Petunia goes and hides under the bed.

 

[neely]

Thank you for adopting a kitty from a hoarder. As it turns out, my present cat also came from a horrific hoarding situation and like Rose was used to being around other cats. You're doing a great job so keep in mind Rome wasn't built in a day. Petunia has been the only cat and it's natural for her to express her displeasure. Plus you mentioned she is a stubborn gal. Here is an Article that should be helpful:Introducing Cats To Cats
Given time I hope the two girls become best of friends but even if Petunia tolerates Rose it will be an improvement. Best of luck, please let us know how the two of them are progressing.

 

[amaruuk]

Thank you for the link - maybe I'll try spreading a lot of towels/blankets on the floor out here, from Rose, so Petunia can't entirely avoid them?
I've tried scent swapping with just a blanket and she runs from it and then just avoids it entirely. (in her head, 'problem solved' I bet lol)

 

[Desertmouse]

Oh my what beautiful girls . I can really tell how much you love them from what you wrote, thank you for putting in so much effort.

I don’t know what things are like for you, but is it possible to adopt a third, maybe one roses age that could stay with her? Honestly with a 7 year difference they may never be best of friends, a lot of time a younger kittens energy can upset a older cat.

Do you think you could get her into a play pen? It could be used the same way as a cat carrier but it would be bigger and perhaps Rose would be willing to run in on her own? If you could get one like this MidWest Collapsible Cat Playpen that is on wheels you might even be able to get her to go in the bathroom then wheel her out to join you and petunia.

By the way I have to thank you for making me smile. When I first read the title of your post, for some reason I thought you meant your cat was being a hoarder . I was picturing you cat stealing things from around the house and making piles of treasure under your bed .

 

[amaruuk]

lol ok that made me giggle, my cat being a hoarder!
Though, Rose *has* dragged the stuffed bear I got her for a snuggle buddy into her little cubby. So she may have picked it up!

With my financial situation and renting, 2 is going to be my limit.
Petunia plays like a kitten still when she gets going. And the kitten, well - she's very reserved and timid in personality. It took me 2 days to show her how to play even, and she wears out in about 10m of playing. She doesn't have the energy of a kitten at all. She *does* just want to snuggle though. I saw this in the shelter with one of her littermates - she followed the other kitten around the room until she laid down, and Rose was right there with her wanting nothing more than cuddles.

That may change, but she's not at all a firey kitten. Between her rather docile nature, and Petunia being occasionally a hell cat when she plays, I'm hoping I did well in matching up their personalities. Petunia's been very mothering in the past (her hand was forced, but she did groom and 'train' a previous 5m old male), and Rose would love that. If I can just get Petunia relatively on board, I think Rose will win her over.

I suspect too that Petunia's remembering the disaster that was the bully 5m old kitten before. He was SO in her face, harassing her, leaping on her from 5ft up on the cat tree - I'm hoping when Petunia realizes this one is very timid and wants company and snuggles more than anything, she'll come around a bit faster.

 

[amaruuk]

As an aside, I did look into getting Rose a cage like that, but they run close to $300 here in Canada, and that's just not in the budget.

Rose has, so far, cost me close to $800. In 5 days.
Her adoption fee being close to $300 of that.
Then toys, supplies, new litterpan, bought lumber and supplies to build shelves in the bathroom so she could get up high, extra food, carrier.

 

[rubysmama]

Here's a couple more TCS articles that may be helpful:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction
The Multi-cat Household
How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight

Both Petunia and Rose are beautiful. And I love their "flowery" names.
I hope they'll eventually become best buds.

 

[amaruuk]

Update:

Wow. This has been a hard week.

The escape encounter started 3 full days and nights of all out howling by Rose.
I mean, HOWLING.
That deep, horrible, incessant sound. I didn't sleep more than an hour at a time. My neighbours started complaining. I got to the end of my rope after the 3rd night of no sleep, and called the shelter.

I was fostering-to-adopt, so they said bring her back in. We'll try and find out if she's howling because she wants company, or because she's un-spayed and going into heat. (Her appt to get 'fixed' was yesterday)

Now.
The shelter did not in fact try and find out a damn thing.
They put her in a cage alone and medicated her.
When I called, and then visited her, they had no clue why she was constantly calling out.
Though I did witness her incessantly calling and being answered by another cat in another cage when i was there.

Then the info started leaking around the edges.

"Well she's just being vocal, you knew that going in", they said.
No, she wasn't like this until she saw my resident cat. She was quiet for the first 3 days. And no I didn't "know" she'd be yeowling for days on end, y'all failed to mention that.

"Well she's a siamese, they're like this", they said.
What the...no, you listed her as a domestic short hair, a mutt - no one said she was a siamese, she doesn't even look siamese other then being white - what do they know that they're not saying. And no siamese yeowls incessantly unless something is *wrong*. Even I know that. Even on my application, it states I do NOT want a siamese. So either they ignored that, or 'forgot' to mention that to me.

"Well we can't put her in with another cat to see if she's calling out for company, it's too dangerous"
Alright, I know they have her siblings there. So they tell me 'we'll find out what's up', but then just lock her away on her own, medicate her until she shuts up, and calls it good? How is that helping?

"Well she gets spayed tuesday, you can bring her home then and see how it goes."
So you didn't even get a vet check to find out if she's in heat?? I called my own vet to find out if there's a way to determine if she's in heat and they said yes there is, you can pull for hormone levels.

I'm really angry at them right now.
And to boot, when I brought her back in to find out what was up with her, they made me seem like a horrible person.

Honestly if she needs another kitty to keep her from howling constantly, I'm not the right home for her. Petunia could take months to get used to a new kitty, and there is no way I can live with a howling cat, AND it would be torture for Rose to so need company and not get it. That's unfair to everyone involved.

I hate it that the shelter was SO ambivalent about finding out why she's exhibiting this behaviour, and then trying to push me to take her home regardless when I'm telling them, I can't have a howling cat, craving company for months on end that's just cruel. I'm also really pissed that if they KNEW she absolutely needed another kitty immediately, they'd even entertain me taking her as I made it REALLY clear Petunia is going to take some time to warm up.

I don't know what to do.
Do I pick her up today and try again, hoping it was just hormones?
(I've just called the vet that did the spay to find out if she was in heat or not, as the shelter is shrugging about finding this out. They said they'll call me back today)

Gah, i hate this.
i no longer trust this shelter to give me ANY accurate information or advice at all, as they seem just focused on getting the adoption fee and getting her out the door rather than getting her into the right home.
(another example - Rose has a bald patch and a black spot under her arm. When I asked initially about this, they said it was a wound, but that's all they knew. When I asked the other day again, the woman came in looked at it and said 'oh that's a nipple'. Under her arm. I don't trust them at all to even know what this lump IS)

Do I attempt this?
Is she really just calling to her siblings and really needs immediate and constant kitty company, and they're just not telling me?
Am I being fair at all to her if this is the case, knowing Petunia will be slow to come around?

Honestly I'm almost feeling like I'd be rescuing her from this shelter, as they don't seem to 1) know a damn thing about her, 2) even want to find out, 3) seem more concerned about getting her out the door and 4) are witholding information about her.

I'm entirely torn.

 

[susanm9006]

Well if she hasn’t been spayed then my bet is that 90% of the howling is because she is in heat. And I am very surprised that the shelter didn’t get that done before they would adopt her out. That alone is a sign that this shelter had issues. But taking her back is most certainly a risk and I don’t know if it is worth you putting yourself through the stress of that.

 

[amaruuk]

Welp I just talked to the vet that spayed her.
She was absolutely NOT in heat when they spayed her. Her ovaries were normal size, no trace of hormones.

Which means, the howling is very likely due to being apart from other kitties.
And as heartbreaking as that is, it also means I am not the right home for her. Petunia will take a long time to warm up to any new kitty. And I think it'd be cruel for me to take her in and have her crying out for feline company that she needs to feel safe.

I have utterly lost faith in this shelter and their version of the truth in this matter.

Thank you, everyone, for your input on this.
My search for another kitty continues, it seems.
My heart hurts.

 

[Desertmouse]

I’m so sorry that you had to go through all this. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a hug, I know I would need one in your place. Thank you for thinking also about what is best for Rose. Your right in that it sounds like she just isn’t the right fit for you, but hopefully with this information she will find someone who is. I wish there was a place you could fill a complaint on the shelter, but I have no idea where it would be. It sounds like they really have some problems, and that makes me really feel for the other animals they have

 

[rubysmama]

I'm sorry it didn't work out with Rose. Also sorry the shelter wasn't been more forthcoming with information. If they had been, they might have saved you all this time and effort with a cat who wasn't a good fit with your Petunia.

TCS has an article that might helpful, if you decide to try again to find a feline friend for Petunia. Your Second Cat: How To Choose The Best Friend For Kitty