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- Mar 19, 2021
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Hi,
I have three cats and one dog that my brother had left us before his passing last year.
It’s been a really difficult year for our family and I have finally come to my senses and decided to cut ties and move out.
I am moving oversaeas this year and I am seriously considering taking our youngest cat (ONE) with me.
We have three cats: ONE(~2.5-3 y.o), TWO(5 y.o), THREE(6 y.o), and a dog that might as well be a cat. DOG is 4 y.o.
DOG and ONE are playmates. ONE and TWO are playmates. They will often annoy THREE playing catch and whatnot. All of our animals are very much a pack.
ONE has been with us for ~three years.
Like all of our cats, she is a rescue. Arrived malnourished, her body covered in parasites, just heartbreaking.
While the other cats are more my mother’s cats than mine, ONE has always preferred me over my mother. Like me, she is a total night creature. I am the one feeding her, the one spending time with her. She will come to me for hugs and ignore my mother. Don’t get me wrong, the cat to likes my mother but not as much as she does me and my husband.
At this point, I should probably mention my mother is a classical real-life example of a textbook narcissist and she dislikes ONE for not giving her enough attention. The attention “she thinks she deserves”. She can be very vocal about it. So much so that she will often ignore ONE, be mean to her, and raise her voice when ONE starts meowing. Now, unlike our other cats, ONE is really loud and meow-y and my mother can’t stand her loud ways. She absolutely can’t stand ONE spending time with me either and will treat the cat (and us) like air when me and my husband visit my parent’s lounge. You get the picture…
My dilemma is - do I take ONE with me or leave her with my parents?
I am seriously concerned. Our cats are “a pack” and I would hate having to break them up. On the other hand, my mother is only nice to her when she’s given COMPLETE and UNCONDITIONAL attention but maybe that would change if I disappeared and left her behind? Out of sight, out of mind, right?
It is my fault too. I shouldn’t have approached the cat but my mother was like “here, take her, she’s meowing so much I can’t stand it. Annoying! I can’t sleep because of her.”. I invited the cat over to my side of the house once, and then again, and again, and again... and, here we are.
I haven’t told my mother about us moving out yet and I won’t until we’re ready to leave; she wouldn’t approve. I’m working for her, so yeah, nope. Not gonna happen.
The cat is registered in my name, so it is very much “my cat”. I know my mother won’t take it well, us moving out, AND the cat coming with us… but I don’t care. We’ve had enough.
IF we chose to take ONE with us, she wouldn’t be alone. I would deffy get her a playmate.
Anyways, I want our cat to be happy. She's suffered enough.
I am not sure what to do. Both options seems like a shitty deal for the cat.
Should we take ONE or leave her with my mother in the hopes that ONE will shift her loyalty and attention towards my mother? As much as it breaks my heart, I am leaning towards leaving her behind. I don’t want to traumatize her by taking her away from her playmates.
My husbands is in favor of taking her with us.
Suggestions, comments, anything that can help us decide would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you!
Lilly
I have three cats and one dog that my brother had left us before his passing last year.
It’s been a really difficult year for our family and I have finally come to my senses and decided to cut ties and move out.
I am moving oversaeas this year and I am seriously considering taking our youngest cat (ONE) with me.
We have three cats: ONE(~2.5-3 y.o), TWO(5 y.o), THREE(6 y.o), and a dog that might as well be a cat. DOG is 4 y.o.
DOG and ONE are playmates. ONE and TWO are playmates. They will often annoy THREE playing catch and whatnot. All of our animals are very much a pack.
ONE has been with us for ~three years.
Like all of our cats, she is a rescue. Arrived malnourished, her body covered in parasites, just heartbreaking.
While the other cats are more my mother’s cats than mine, ONE has always preferred me over my mother. Like me, she is a total night creature. I am the one feeding her, the one spending time with her. She will come to me for hugs and ignore my mother. Don’t get me wrong, the cat to likes my mother but not as much as she does me and my husband.
At this point, I should probably mention my mother is a classical real-life example of a textbook narcissist and she dislikes ONE for not giving her enough attention. The attention “she thinks she deserves”. She can be very vocal about it. So much so that she will often ignore ONE, be mean to her, and raise her voice when ONE starts meowing. Now, unlike our other cats, ONE is really loud and meow-y and my mother can’t stand her loud ways. She absolutely can’t stand ONE spending time with me either and will treat the cat (and us) like air when me and my husband visit my parent’s lounge. You get the picture…
My dilemma is - do I take ONE with me or leave her with my parents?
I am seriously concerned. Our cats are “a pack” and I would hate having to break them up. On the other hand, my mother is only nice to her when she’s given COMPLETE and UNCONDITIONAL attention but maybe that would change if I disappeared and left her behind? Out of sight, out of mind, right?
It is my fault too. I shouldn’t have approached the cat but my mother was like “here, take her, she’s meowing so much I can’t stand it. Annoying! I can’t sleep because of her.”. I invited the cat over to my side of the house once, and then again, and again, and again... and, here we are.
I haven’t told my mother about us moving out yet and I won’t until we’re ready to leave; she wouldn’t approve. I’m working for her, so yeah, nope. Not gonna happen.
The cat is registered in my name, so it is very much “my cat”. I know my mother won’t take it well, us moving out, AND the cat coming with us… but I don’t care. We’ve had enough.
IF we chose to take ONE with us, she wouldn’t be alone. I would deffy get her a playmate.
Anyways, I want our cat to be happy. She's suffered enough.
I am not sure what to do. Both options seems like a shitty deal for the cat.
Should we take ONE or leave her with my mother in the hopes that ONE will shift her loyalty and attention towards my mother? As much as it breaks my heart, I am leaning towards leaving her behind. I don’t want to traumatize her by taking her away from her playmates.
My husbands is in favor of taking her with us.
Suggestions, comments, anything that can help us decide would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you!
Lilly
