Relationship between my two cats

[dvgcii]

Hi everyone!
So I have two 5-year-old cats, Michi (female) and Remus (male) and I was always pretty questionable about their relationship. I had Michi(F) first and then my Remus (M) a few months later. I guess they're pretty indifferent to one another when they pass and I can't really tell whether or not they're friends or if they hate each other.

Sometimes Remus (M) would come up to Michi (F) while she's laying down and would stare her down. In response, Michi (F) would tense up, hiss or growl, dilated eyes, and would run. If she doesn't run, Remus (F) would pounce on her and put her in a hold where my female cat would sometimes yowl in protest. There would be a chunk of fur in his mouth or near them but I don't notice any blood or markings on her. Other than that, her yowls are mainly my concern.

They didn't do it often but they used to sleep together when they were younger. Nowadays, they only sleep next to each other on the bed. Michi (F) grooms Remus (M) and Remus (M) would try to groom her back and he would get a few licks until she'll swat or bite him away. They also seem like they play with each other where they would chase the other cat and vice versa at high speeds around the house. Sometimes there's noise (coming from either of them depending on who initiated), other times they're pretty quiet.

What do you guys think? They're also both fixed!

 

[nurseangel]

It sounds like an intermittent power struggle. Someone else might come along with better advice, but I am not sure you can prevent this from happening. Elsie (younger F) likes to play with Speck (M) and Daisy (F). They have been fixed, too. Elsie will start playing and before we know it, a fight has ensued. Elsie will scream bloody murder, but she isn't really hurt. If anything she will leave a little bite mark on Daisy.

 

[ArtNJ]

Play is often a little bit unequal, and one cat running or squealing is not uncommon. Cats hold grudges when an issue is serious, so you can judge by the quiet times, and how the reluctant cat acts during those times. If your two cats lay side by side and play nicely at times, the reluctant cat doesn't find the relationship too troubling overall. So not a perfect relationship, but still beneficial overall -- something like friendly with some sibling rivalry/tension mixed in I guess.

P.S. Fur comes off pretty easily so a bit off during play isn't necessarily anything, but if you see fur clumps with roots, that is more indicative of hostility and a problem.

 

[dvgcii]

It sounds like an intermittent power struggle. Someone else might come along with better advice, but I am not sure you can prevent this from happening. Elsie (younger F) likes to play with Speck (M) and Daisy (F). They have been fixed, too. Elsie will start playing and before we know it, a fight has ensued. Elsie will scream bloody murder, but she isn't really hurt. If anything she will leave a little bite mark on Daisy.

Honestly, that's what I've been thinking. Usually, when these fights/disagreements would happen, Remus (M) would bother her and then take her spot once she leaves. He used to steal her food too and she would let him! But she sometimes does the same when he leaves a little bit of food in his bowl.

 

[dvgcii]

Play is often a little bit unequal, and one cat running or squealing is not uncommon. Cats hold grudges when an issue is serious, so you can judge by the quiet times, and how the reluctant cat acts during those times. If your two cats lay side by side and play nicely at times, the reluctant cat doesn't find the relationship too troubling overall. So not a perfect relationship, but still beneficial overall -- something like friendly with some sibling rivalry/tension mixed in I guess.

P.S. Fur comes off pretty easily so a bit off during play isn't necessarily anything, but if you see fur clumps with roots, that is more indicative of hostility and a problem.

Thank you, that's reassuring to hear that their relationship can be that of siblings and the whole fur issue. I just wanted to hear other people's experiences as well since I definitely get jealous of those people who have fur babies that cuddle with each other Do you know what it means when one cat grooms the other cat but that same cat who initiated doesn't let the other cat groom them?