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- Nov 10, 2020
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Hi all.
I'll keep this as short as I can, but my cats had a redirected aggression incident 3 years ago now that has altered our lives. This wasn't our first one, and we had resolved it several times before. They have been separated since this last incident in September 2020. For awhile, we did the Jackson Galaxy method, with feeding behind closed doors, cracking it, etc. because this has worked in past instances. But this last time, it didn't work as well. When we finally had them supervised in a room together, our aggressor cat wouldn't stop stalking and focusing on our victim cat. It wasn't the same as before.
Between going very slow with them and traveling a lot (we left for four months at one point to travel, putting one into a boarding facility and leaving one at home with a sitter; traveling is my passion, so I won't push that aside), we feel so stuck and exhausted. We started a new method that our behaviorist suggested, crating one and slowly moving the crate towards the other cat behind a barrier, then the same deal without a crate, then doing this in the same room. We had them about six feet apart and felt like we were at the cusp of finally having them together. They seemed comfortable, unfocused on the other, happy. Things felt exciting. My husband had aggressor cat on a harness, eating his food. I had victim cat, eating his food. We incorporated treats into the routine so the cats had something fun to focus on instead of each other. I threw a treat to my husband for aggressor cat and victim cat lurched forward for the treat, scaring aggressor cat. No fights ensued, but this put us back months of progress. Now, at feeding times (which is behind a wire gate, and we let them free roam their own areas with strict supervision), aggressor cat will not stop staring, and victim cat is visibly scared when getting too close to the gate. We are at a loss. We were almost there and the moment disappeared, and so did our chance of getting them back together.
After this long-winded explanation, I'm here to ask for advice. What sort of things helped you in your redirected aggression reintroduction? We have a new Feliway diffuser after stopping it for awhile (I hated having to buy multiple refills every month, but I'm starting to again), they are both medicated. Our behaviorist keeps telling us to distract aggressor cat with toys and treats when he is focused on our victim cat, but nothing stops him. He isn't treat motivated at all and my husband's latest attempts to distract him with toys and fun things are futile. His eyes are locked in on his victim.
Is this relationship irreparable? The thought of rehoming one of our babies is absolutely gut-wrenching, but we also can't live our lives this way forever. We have dreams of moving overseas in a few years, but cannot do that with the cats this way. My husband and I sleep separately, and have for three years due to this. I'm just hoping someone has a solution we haven't tried. I've felt we have gone slowly, maybe even too slowly, and haven't rushed things at all.
I'll keep this as short as I can, but my cats had a redirected aggression incident 3 years ago now that has altered our lives. This wasn't our first one, and we had resolved it several times before. They have been separated since this last incident in September 2020. For awhile, we did the Jackson Galaxy method, with feeding behind closed doors, cracking it, etc. because this has worked in past instances. But this last time, it didn't work as well. When we finally had them supervised in a room together, our aggressor cat wouldn't stop stalking and focusing on our victim cat. It wasn't the same as before.
Between going very slow with them and traveling a lot (we left for four months at one point to travel, putting one into a boarding facility and leaving one at home with a sitter; traveling is my passion, so I won't push that aside), we feel so stuck and exhausted. We started a new method that our behaviorist suggested, crating one and slowly moving the crate towards the other cat behind a barrier, then the same deal without a crate, then doing this in the same room. We had them about six feet apart and felt like we were at the cusp of finally having them together. They seemed comfortable, unfocused on the other, happy. Things felt exciting. My husband had aggressor cat on a harness, eating his food. I had victim cat, eating his food. We incorporated treats into the routine so the cats had something fun to focus on instead of each other. I threw a treat to my husband for aggressor cat and victim cat lurched forward for the treat, scaring aggressor cat. No fights ensued, but this put us back months of progress. Now, at feeding times (which is behind a wire gate, and we let them free roam their own areas with strict supervision), aggressor cat will not stop staring, and victim cat is visibly scared when getting too close to the gate. We are at a loss. We were almost there and the moment disappeared, and so did our chance of getting them back together.
After this long-winded explanation, I'm here to ask for advice. What sort of things helped you in your redirected aggression reintroduction? We have a new Feliway diffuser after stopping it for awhile (I hated having to buy multiple refills every month, but I'm starting to again), they are both medicated. Our behaviorist keeps telling us to distract aggressor cat with toys and treats when he is focused on our victim cat, but nothing stops him. He isn't treat motivated at all and my husband's latest attempts to distract him with toys and fun things are futile. His eyes are locked in on his victim.
Is this relationship irreparable? The thought of rehoming one of our babies is absolutely gut-wrenching, but we also can't live our lives this way forever. We have dreams of moving overseas in a few years, but cannot do that with the cats this way. My husband and I sleep separately, and have for three years due to this. I'm just hoping someone has a solution we haven't tried. I've felt we have gone slowly, maybe even too slowly, and haven't rushed things at all.
