Redirected agression, feeling very down about it

[arr]

Hello fellow cat lovers,

As of yesterday, we are dealing with a case of redirected or misdirected aggression. I know it’s not been long at all, but it is the most severe case we have personally dealt with. I’m very prone to anxiety and worst case scenario thinking so I’m hoping just getting my thoughts down and maybe hearing from others will help.

Yesterday my mom noticed her cat was having trouble urinating, only a drop would come out. At the same time, she was having a health situation with a family member and needed to deal with that so we offered to take her cat to the emergency vet. He’s going to be fine, but since my mom had a lot on her plate, we offered to bring Nielsen to our home to recover in our guest bedroom where we could really watch how he was urinating and administer his medication.

We have three cats, Penny the mama, and her children Fizzbin and Chloe. Early in the day everyone seemed fine, they would go to the guest door, there was mild hissing on both sides, but nothing major. All my cats ate lunch together, dinner together, everything was fine. In the evening I went to check on Nielsen and suddenly Penny just snapped. She attacked Fizzbin and let out the most horrible sound that can only be described as a scream and then ran upstairs. Fizzbin was okay, it appears she mainly just jumped him and then ran. We locked her in our bedroom and bathroom area upstairs. I have never seen her like this, she was completely unhinged. I went in to try and calm her, give some treats. I thought she would calm down more quickly like previous times where she saw another cat out the window. I realize now it was the wrong approach, I should have left her completely alone to calm down, but thankfully nothing really happened. She just sat there in a psychotic state. In the meantime, we brought Nielsen back to my mother, realizing we wouldn’t be able to keep him at our home.

Our next mistake was a few hours later, thinking she would have calmed down like previous times. We opened the door and she cautiously came out, but when she caught sight of her children, she made that horrible scream again and ran back to the bedroom. Thankfully this time she didn’t come after her children. Now we know we are dealing with something on another level, we won’t be opening the door again.

This morning she is still the same, hissing, growling, she didn’t use her litter box all night but she did eat her breakfast. The kittens are definitely disturbed ( they are 2 1/2 but we will always refer to them as the kittens) but they are eating, using the litter box, playing a little, but always lurking by the door where Penny is and just generally unsettled. I pushed a towel into the space under the door so they won’t agitate her by putting their paws underneath.

I’ve been reading online about the steps we need to take and I have Jackson Galaxy’s Total Cat Mojo so I will be reading that section today. I’m just worried maybe too much damage has happened because I tried calming her before she was ready, we opened the door too soon last night. I’m trying hard to act normal so as to diffuse the tension in the house but I’m always on the verge of tears. I just keep seeing the three of them sleeping together in a cat pile, grooming each other, they were so close. Especially Chloe and Penny. Its just so sad.

 

[di and bob]

Keep the faith, this WILL resolve it will just take more time. I had this same thing happen when one of my cats 'children' went to the vet and came home, she went completely berserk and attacked. I kept them separated for a day, she still made a wide berth and growled whenever her kitten came into the room. For a week! Since what scared her is now gone,(and to her that kitten was a complete stranger) she will start to recover. You might lock the others up for a while and let her sniff around the house. She may come unglued if she hears the others in the other room, so hopefully they are quiet. I would let them sleep on blankets and exchange them to swap scents. Keep her completely separated for one to two days, then let her see the others with supervision. Have a stiff piece of cardboard to stick between them if she attacks or put them in a wire dog kennel. Once she realizes the threat is gone she will accept the others again, but it may take a week or two. You might order some calming med treats on amazon and give her some too. I have had this happen many times, I have even had a cat pee all over the house for almost a year when we moved and there were cats outside, I didn't think that would EVER end! (it took resolve, love, and a LOT of Natures Miracle) It all did resolve, it just takes time! PS don't completely separate them for TOO long, over 4-5 days, or she will start to forget them too. Mama cats start forgetting their adopted babies after a week.

 

[Furballsmom]

I totally agree with all the advice di and bob has given you above. Be as positive as you can, and hang in there

 

[arr]

Keep the faith, this WILL resolve it will just take more time. I had this same thing happen when one of my cats 'children' went to the vet and came home, she went completely berserk and attacked. I kept them separated for a day, she still made a wide berth and growled whenever her kitten came into the room. For a week! Since what scared her is now gone,(and to her that kitten was a complete stranger) she will start to recover. You might lock the others up for a while and let her sniff around the house. She may come unglued if she hears the others in the other room, so hopefully they are quiet. I would let them sleep on blankets and exchange them to swap scents. Keep her completely separated for one to two days, then let her see the others with supervision. Have a stiff piece of cardboard to stick between them if she attacks or put them in a wire dog kennel. Once she realizes the threat is gone she will accept the others again, but it may take a week or two. You might order some calming med treats on amazon and give her some too. I have had this happen many times, I have even had a cat pee all over the house for almost a year when we moved and there were cats outside, I didn't think that would EVER end! (it took resolve, love, and a LOT of Natures Miracle) It all did resolve, it just takes time! PS don't completely separate them for TOO long, over 4-5 days, or she will start to forget them too. Mama cats start forgetting their adopted babies after a week.

Thank you so much! Just hearing you got through it is very helpful. I especially appreciate your point about not keeping total separation for more than 4 to 5 days. Jackson Galaxy’s introduction process is more geared to introducing a completely new cat so I can see I will have to tweak it a little.

 

[arr]

I totally agree with all the advice di and bob has given you above. Be as positive as you can, and hang in there

Thank you! Keeping a positive attitude is the hardest part for me but I’m realizing how important it is to promote a relaxed feeling in the house.

 

[Furballsmom]

Let us know how things go

 

[arr]

I’m going to try and update each night. So today we had an okay day, I think. Penny began the day much calmer, but it’s almost like she was stunned or in a state of shock from yesterday’s events. She sat in a chair all morning, she didn’t look up when we walked into the room, didn’t respond to her name, she was dazed. Later, my husband went in and sat on his recliner and she actually got on his lap and purred and let him pet her. Then after she ate her lunch, it’s almost like she suddenly snapped out of the lethargy and became aware of the world around her. She started looking out the window, walking around, just acting a lot like her old self. Jackson says that when the cat is acting comfortable in their base camp, you can try site swapping, so we did that today. Penny came out and the kittens went in. It went very well. The kittens were happy to nap in their favorite room again, and Penny cautiously explored the house. A problem came right before their dinner time. We removed the towel that was stuffed under the door crack because we want them to hear and smell each other when doing meals on either side of the door. (we have them eating several feet away from the door at this point) Penny became more aware of them and started hissing and growling. We switched spaces and fed them. Penny didn’t growl or hiss at all while eating and she ate well. Fizzbin was okay, he’s very easygoing and ate most of his dinner, but Chloe was disturbed by the sounds and didn’t eat as much, maybe about half. Im wondering if we should leave the towel while eating or if I’m making too big a deal about some hissing and growling. It was very minor compared to yesterday’s outburst. I’m also worried about how the kittens are being affected. I know they are disturbed, and I wonder if they will be okay or will somehow be damaged. Especially Chloe, she has always been a more nervous cat. I think she’s doing amazing, all things considered. I’m just so worried about her. So that’s about it for today. It looks like we will be in door feeding stage for a while. Our goal is them eating on either side of the door, relatively close to the door, with no hissing or growling. I still feel like crying all day, thinking about my little cat family.

 

[Furballsmom]

Im wondering if we should leave the towel while eating or if I’m making too big a deal about some hissing and growling.

I couldn't tell absolutely how this went, but it seemed once you switched spaces Penny was fine? I'm not sure about the towel either, actually. She seems like she's almost home, but there's Chloe too.

 

[arr]

I have a very positive update for today. I think we may be back to normal. It happened so much faster than I thought it would. We continued with the site swapping and meals behind the door. Brought the bowls right up to the door and there was no hissing. The turning point came later in the day. I decided to do their favorite treats on either side of the door while also having a ribbon they could play with back and forth. It went so well, a lot of purring, and then I noticed they were all playing footsie through the crack all afternoon. It seemed like Penny really wanted to get back with the kittens. It felt like we were flying through the steps kind of fast, but Jackson says to take your lead from the cats, so we decided to put up a gate and see how it went. So my husband stayed with the kittens on their side playing with a toy and I had Penny with a toy on the other side, farther away. Eventually she noticed the kittens and became very alert, no longer interested in the toy. Thats when I brought out more treats and also threw out more catnip soaked toys right at the gate. The treats completely got everyone’s attention and they were all eating and rolling around with their toys. We kept up playing, catnip, and treats and just slowly removed the gate while they were preoccupied. If I had heard a hiss or growl or seen any kind of posturing, I wouldn’t have removed the gate yet, but there was literally nothing. They were like their old selves. So we all stayed like that for awhile, everyone free to move around. Then they all had dinner together in their usual manner. Chloe is still a little tentative around Penny. Before meals, she likes to rub her head against Penny, and I saw her making small attempts to do so, but not quite doing it. They are all in a food coma now, just laying around. I think we are okay! I still feel a little nervous, like Penny could snap again at any minute, but she is giving no indications of doing so, it’s just my feelings.

I feel foolish for crying so much the last few days. I think it’s because I had never actually seen a cat lose it before like Penny did. Perhaps her reaction was perfectly normal for a cat who’s territory was invaded, but I had just never seen it. We’ve had strays come up to the window before and she would growl and puff up, but she never screamed like I witnessed the other day, and then shut down like she did. Now that I’ve been through it, if it happens again I can be more confident in my ability to properly help her, and confident that if we follow the steps, things will work out.

Thank you everyone for being so encouraging and for giving me a place to write all of this down.

 

[Furballsmom]

You have been such a trooper, and you and your hubs have been so smart (do tell him, we think he's tops! ) through what is a super strange, frustrating, complicated situation that doesn't have any guarantees.

I'm absolutely thrilled to hear today went so well !!

 

[JamesCalifornia]

The kitty psychological squad is on the job ... "Tell me about your feelings "