Recommendations For Helping Cat Overcome "losing" Siblings?

[Adelei]

I want to start by saying, my cat didn't actually lose her siblings, but she doesn't know that. I adopted 3 cats while living in China, but because of Chinese regulations I can only take one cat out at a time. I took the first cat out in February and I took the second on April 1st. The final kitty and I will move on June 30th and be reunited with her siblings, but in the meantime, she is not dealing with the loss very well. I'm spending as much time at home with her as I can (basically every moment outside of work), I've got feliway plugged into the bedroom and I've been trying to play with her 30 minutes every night, but she still seems really unhappy. Some days she'll meow allllllll day long, other days she'll be quiet but keep her distance from me, preferring to stay alone. Sometimes, she's not even interested in our play sessions (and she's 11 months old, so that's not like her!) I just feel like nothing I do really helps her.

So while technically the other cats didn't die and she will see them again, since she doesn't know that, she's grieving their loss. My boy, Shade, grieved some after I took the first, but he still had Ever here to distract and comfort him. When he got to America he was ecstatic to find Promise alive and according to my mom, he's been on cloud nine ever since. So I know Ever will be fine in the long run, but I wish I could do something to make this time easier for her. Any suggestions?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Can you try a ticking clock or heartbeat toy?
Can you try MusicForCats . com or the app Relax my Cat?

From mamanyt1953 You could also consider chamomile tea, buy it from the grocery store (garden grown is unsafe for cats), brew it cool it and Administer 1-3 teaspoonfulls up to 3 times a day via syringe. And if she's large, you can go up to 3 Tablespoonfulls safely, I just like starting on lower dosages. Gently and allow time for swallowing.

The thing about chamomile is, it is gently calming without sedating, so you don't have half-drunk cats staggering around the house and drooling. Worth a shot. OH, and drink a cup sweetened with honey yourself! Works on man and beast!

(Aside...the chilled tea also makes an excellent wash for any kind of skin ouchy. I keep it in the fridge during mosquito season!)

 

[FeebysOwner]

I don't have much to offer, but did you by any chance keep any of the other cats blankets/towels/etc. so that Ever could still smell them? If not, you might want to ask to have some sent to you.

Paying extra attention to her, even if it is just talking softly to her - or even reading a book out loud - will help. Was she cuddly before? If so, try to get her come to you with treats, and if she will eat them, start petting her head - and expand on petting her more and more with the treats for as long as you can keep her near you. Perhaps, you would even be able to get her to come up on your lap to get treats?

If Ever would happen to be interested in things like TVs, videos, what would happen if you tried to do Skype so she could see the other two cats - assuming they would be cooperative as well? Maybe a couple times a week, or even more??It would help to have items with their scent to have near Ever when Skyping.

I sure hope she is eating/drinking OK.

Hopefully, more members will come along with some ideas to offer you as well.

 

[verna davies]

I was told distraction. When she meows, try to distract her in some way by doing something she likes, whether its a favourite toy or a treat. She must wonder what is going on, losing one friend then another. There is no quick fix for this unfortunately but being on her own must be strange and a little frightening for her. You are her constant so just be there for her.

 

[rubysmama]

Here's a short TCS article that might be helpful: Do Cats Mourn?

Regarding international travel with cats, as you've already done it successfully twice, I wonder if you might have some advice to add to the below thread, where the OP is hoping to bring their cat from China to the US.
Moving My Cat Internationally