Re-introducing kitty to the bedroom

[shadowbaby14]

Hello all!

Let me start by giving the backround story...

So I had previously posted a thread about my (3 month old) kitten attacking mine and my boyfriend's face at night while we slept. I loved cuddling with her but in the middle of the night she should get playfully aggressive and would not realize we were sleeping and jump on our faces. She would also just simply attack us, feet, hands, legs.. noses.. So we started leaving her outside the bedroom at night because we had had enough. Then arose another problem: she missed us at night and would start meowing in the middle of the night really loud and painful. It broke my heart hearing her meow so I would get up in the middle of the night to cuddle her and ended up falling asleep on the couch... only to wake up to a kitty biting my nose. Ouch. (There would be blood, she would occasionally scratch my face also leaving red marks on my face.) I would take her, with a firm "NO" and put her back on the ground but she would keep doing it. (This is what we did at first when we let her sleep in the room.) 

We have been trying to fix the meowing issue for a long time now and we're pulling out our hair trying to do so...

A little bit of info:

- We live in a one bedroom apartment. It is fairly small.

- We have 2 scratching posts and plenty of toys (A plush baby toy with a bell inside, another plush toy shaped as a big ball, one of the scratching posts has a bell at the top, the other has a fluffy thing pending from it, Catit Senses Speed Circuit, A cylinder toy with a ball/bell attached to it, a square piece of carpet with a spring and a mouse attached to it, and we always have crumpled papers lying around because she loves to play with them... a lot of toys for the little missy!)

- She has her own plushie mattress set up on my computer desk, her favourite place to sleep... she is here right now sleeping on it.

- A bed with very comfortable plush blankies inside.. which she never sleeps in... but anyway lol

- We always leave the stove hut light on for her at night.

- We play music for her at night so that she doesn't get lonely.

- We leave a food dispenser out so that she has food all the time.

- She has clean running water 24/7 (Catit sense fresh and clean water fountain)

OK so now that you have the rundown...

She still meows at around 6 in the morning every single morning, but it has gotten less bad. We have been sticking to a routine for about 2 - 3 weeks I'd say. I have just read in this thread "Please help me get some sleep!!!" posted by @ItsNotPeanutBut  (Thank you by the way!) a new technique to getting her to stop meowing in the morning. I'm going to give detailed updates about this technique. Basically we need to limit her food and give her scheduled playtime and eating time twice a day. Get her tired and all and used to a new routine. I will start this as of tomorrow because she had already had her food out most of the day. One of my mistakes is getting up at 6 in the morning to go to the washroom because I am awakened by her meows anyway, but when I do get up I let her come into the bathroom with me and cuddle her... MISTAKE. Then when I try to go back into the room she wants to follow. And NOW she expects me to do this every morning.. and of course I do cause I can't help cuddling with the little bugger!

SO now I'm FINALLY getting to the point of the thread... 

I have this fear... Assuming all will go well and we will get her to stop meowing every morning with this new routine... I absolutely LOVED cuddling in bed with Shadow but then the whole problem with her being aggressive at night started, forcing us to leave her out of the room... My fear is that we will never be able to re-introduce her to sleeping with us again when she's a bit older. My question is, is it possible to do this? It would sadden me if I would never be able to cuddle with her peacefully at night again. 

If it IS a possibility... how would I go about it? (and I'm not talking in the near future, I'm talking about in a few months from now...) Would everything we've worked on, all the training, go to waste? Would we need to restart this whole process if we re-introduce her to sleeping with us in the room?

I really hope there is a way we can once again have cuddle time while we sleep!

All information/comments are very appreciated.

- Concerned mother of Shadow

 

[shadowbaby14]

"...in the middle of the night she **would** get playfully aggressive and would not realize we were sleeping and jump on our faces."

 

[starbuk]

Couple of thoughts. First is that kittens need to eat more than 2x a day. Their stomachs are smaller and need more food than adults. Net is that they need 3 or 4 meals. I agree with set meal times but should be 3 minimum - kitty should get all the food she can handle because they are good at self regulating weight at that age with all the play and growing they do. Second, I think you will be able to introduce. The bigger issue is the face scratching. She should know faces are off limits. Cats have this capacity. Mine plays rough but never with my face. Even if I shove my face in her belly while she is attacking my hand. So it is possible to teach. Walk away or put in timeout immediately after she does it. Even the stern no is attention and it has never worked for me. Ignoring takes longer but works better as you know.
If it was me and I wanted kitty in bedroom, I'd let her and every time she touches face she gets locked out for the night. She is kitten so it'd take time but she will learn.

 

[shadowbaby14]

Thank you @starbuk  , we give her time-outs regularly. A lot actually. She's a naughty little one. I suggested what you have said about leaving her in the room and locking her out when she scratches to my boyfriend as a solution, but he has had enough of it and won't go for it... Honestly I think if she wakes him up that way another time he'll lose it. I was thinking more when she mature's a little and we have trained her better not to scratch/bite us at all, then it would perhaps be easier to let her in the room?

Or do you think she would go back to doing what she used to do since all of a sudden we would leave the door open for her... ?
Again, this would only happen after we have trained her and she does not slip up at all with the scratching and the biting.

For the meals, 3 or 4 will be hard, unless we leave  a lot of food out while we're both at work and then take it away when we get home, play (or let her nap, then play if she has eaten right before we get home), maybe give her some snacks, and then a last meal right before bed? This is kind of what we did today... we left her dispenser out the whole day until about 3 and then gave her a big meal not too long ago, with a treat.

Would that work or does it defeat the whole purpose of timed meals...?

Thank you, I really appreciate the responses

 

[shadowbaby14]

Oh and if I don't leave her any food overnight, wouldn't this make the meowing worse in the morning? Or would it not matter?

Maybe she won't even notice.....

 

[starbuk]

Should be able to let her in at a later age without too much trouble and once she learns I doubt the door being open will trigger anything, but it'll take time to get there. I know it's frustrating but remember that if kitty wanted to hurt you, he would. It's only play for attention because he loves you. Hard to remember that but it's true. The food I feed in morning, then at 6pm after work then at 10pm before bed. I prefer not leaving food out unless kitty doesn't eat a full meal but do not mind leaving it out. Just better for behavioral reasons to not leave food out. What kind of food do you feed kitty? Some cats meow for food and others don't especially if they are use to a schedule and know it's coming. She should learn early on that meowing won't get her food. I always wake up and shower and get ready for work all before heading into kitchen so she knows that waking up doesn't equal food and so far I don't get bugged too much for breakfast. Let me know how and what food you are feeding now, sometimes cats act up with free feeding.

 

[shadowbaby14]

She is currently eating dry kibble 'kitten formula' by Blue Seal. A few people had recommended this brand and she likes it. I don't feed her wet food at the moment, but I heard it was good to give a mix of both? The advice on feeding times is great thanks a lot for your help. My boyfriend and I have already started giving her those feeding times and it seems to be slowly working. Her meowing has diminished, also due to the fact that we now ignore her when we first wake up. 

 

[starbuk]

 
She is currently eating dry kibble 'kitten formula' by Blue Seal. A few people had recommended this brand and she likes it. I don't feed her wet food at the moment, but I heard it was good to give a mix of both? The advice on feeding times is great thanks a lot for your help. My boyfriend and I have already started giving her those feeding times and it seems to be slowly working. Her meowing has diminished, also due to the fact that we now ignore her when we first wake up. 

A mix is better than no wet food, yes.  There are some good deals on Amazon for cans of Fancy Feast.  Wet food is good because it is 80% water and cats normally do not have a large thirst drive on their own, so what ends up happening is that the cat does not get enough water.  Generally, people agree that wet diets are healthier than dry diets, but many people feed one or the other without issues, or mix them, so it is up to your preference!

 

[shadowbaby14]

 
A mix is better than no wet food, yes.  There are some good deals on Amazon for cans of Fancy Feast.  Wet food is good because it is 80% water and cats normally do not have a large thirst drive on their own, so what ends up happening is that the cat does not get enough water.  Generally, people agree that wet diets are healthier than dry diets, but many people feed one or the other without issues, or mix them, so it is up to your preference!

Oh I didn't know that! I'll definitely consider feeding her wet food too.