Quill Has Ckd

quill_luv

quill_luv

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MOD NOTE: This thread was originally posted in the Crossing the Bridge forum. However, Quill has improved. :) It isn't his time just quite yet so his thread has been moved here to the Health forum for updates.

It's time for my boy to go. He was diagnosed with CKD this week - severe and very advanced. My heart is broken into a million shards. He isn't eating but he is drinking way too much. He is as thin as a skeleton, wandering around and looking at me as if he doesn't know where he is or who we are. He's had three fluid treatments in three days and is going in for another bloodtest on Tuesday but I know already. I know that what I will do for him is out of pure and unbroken love. We spent almost every single day together, and he was always following me like a little fluffy shadow. Such a gentle, sweet, kind little soul. Last night I was sitting with him, telling him that he was going to be okay and true to his old self he just grabbed my hand and licked and licked. As if he was reassuring me that he was indeed going to be okay.

I was with him the first day, and we are going to be together until the last. And I will love him until his last breath, and beyond. But I know it's time for him to go.


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les26

les26

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I am so sorry that this has happened, but we all must come to this place even us humans someday, but it hurts like crazy and our world is broken. I hope that he passes peacefully when the time comes and I'm sure he will, and I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day.

Lord Bless you.....:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 
Kat0121

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My heart is breaking for you but what you will be doing for him is the ultimate act of selflessness, love and friendship. This is one of the hardest things you will have to do but it's what he needs you to do. Death is not an ending to a relationship that is as loving and is based on true friendship like the one you share with Quill. It is more like hitting a pause button. He will go to the bridge where he will be cared for very lovingly. He will never be sick or in pain ever again. He will watch over you with the same love and devotion he has had all along. One day, when the time is right, the pause button will be tapped yet again and this time, you will be reunited with him. This time, it will be forever. Your friendship will resume just as nothing has happened. Death cannot break a bond as strong as the one that you and Quill share. It is not possible. No one can.

This is going to be an agonizing time for you. Please let us be there for you. Talk about him as much as you like. Vent. Cry. We will cry with you I can promise you that because I already am. You are not alone. :grouphug::hugs::alright:
 
Mashkasheli

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My heart breaks for you. I lost Sheleg today a month ago. It is agonizing. But I know he is at peace. And I know that he went peacefully. Quill is so lucky to have been loved by you, and you are so lucky to have been loved by him. This love will last forever. You are definitely not alone. x
 
di and bob

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Your heart is going to shatter into a million pieces, there is no way to prepare that heart for losing your Quill. But somehow you will find the strength to help him escape the misery that is eminent, you cannot let that sweet boy suffer one more moment than necessary. We all know the time is near when the life they are living now is existing, no longer full of the joy of being alive.The haunting look in their eyes tells us it is time to let them go, may God bless their tiny spirits and watch over them until we too join them in eternal peace.
You are giving him exactly what he needs right now, your love and the reassurance that love for him is eternal,that he will be held securely in a loving heart.
There are no spoken words to comfort a broken heart, this is something we all must learn to live through, to live with, until the passage of time brings us the dulling of the sharp edges of grief.
Quill loves you so very much. He does not want you to grieve forever when he is gone. It is because of this love he holds for you that he wants your life to go forward and be filled with happiness and sunshine once more, just as you would want for him to live if you were the first to go. He is in your life for a reason, not to bring you grief, but to bring you love and happiness.To have never known his sweet love at all would be unthinkable. He shares your life for a little while and although he will follow a new path, it will always parallel your own until the day it crosses once more. The bond of love you share is strong, use it and your precious memories to bring you comfort in these days of sadness, remember it is what he wants for the one he loves above all else.
I wish I could make it all better, I pray so hard that these little ones will never have to suffer one day of pain in their lives. They are so innocent and so loved. Take care of yourself, give that sweet boy a kiss for me, and know you both are in my thoughts and prayers..... May the good Lord help you through this, may He bless dear Quill and welcome him into His arms.
 
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quill_luv

quill_luv

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Thank you all for your kind words ... I am still trying to accept the fact that he is dying. It's never an easy choice but it's a choice I am prepared to make. Tonight he's mostly sleeping, and he does get up for his food and water. He was feeling okay today but I know there were times when he was hurting, and he is very weak. He knows that I am hurting too - there was another big lick-a-thon that he gave me ... I love him so much. Enough to let him go.
 
catsknowme

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:alright: I admire your courage. Sometimes, true love is letting go...knowing that in ending his pain, you will be beginning yours. Please keep us updated on how things are going. Today is Tuesday and you both are in my thoughts and prayers as your precious boy's spirit returns to be with the ancestors and those yet to be born.
 
boney girl dad

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So sorry to hear Qill's diagnosis. This has claimed way too many of our kitties. To read or hear CKD still gives me a hollow tight burning feeling in my neck, chest and gut as I know you must also feel. I pray for a peaceful passing and peace for you during this difficult time.
 
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quill_luv

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So ... good news. And first of all, I guess I owe everyone thanks for helping me get through this whole ordeal - I have never dealt with something like this and it put me in a huge state of panic. Quill's bloodwork was better than expected - everything is much lower than it was last week. The vet said that it was an infection that put him in crisis mode, but it has cleared up, and with that, the complications from CKD. So he's gone from a level 4 to a level 3 - it's still putting him in danger but he's pulled through the worst of it. I can breathe a semi-huge sigh of relief. So now I've decided to try subcutaneous fluids, just to get his dehydration under wraps. He's very much his old self again. The vet said that if I had brought him in before he was treated, there would be no hesitation in my decision to put him to sleep. But hopefully with the sub q's he can last a few more months. So, I guess this was a false alarm ... and I'll be doing everything I can to help my boy pull through until he decides that it is time. Again, thank you - I will definitely read up on resources for CKD - I now have a mini library of websites, and my vet is an amazing gal. So, thank you :hearthrob: :grouphug: :hearthrob: - I will definitely stick around and keep everyone updated on his progress. Oh, and pics too!
 
les26

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quill_luv said:
So ... good news. And first of all, I guess I owe everyone thanks for helping me get through this whole ordeal - I have never dealt with something like this and it put me in a huge state of panic. Quill's bloodwork was better than expected - everything is much lower than it was last week. The vet said that it was an infection that put him in crisis mode, but it has cleared up, and with that, the complications from CKD. So he's gone from a level 4 to a level 3 - it's still putting him in danger but he's pulled through the worst of it. I can breathe a semi-huge sigh of relief. So now I've decided to try subcutaneous fluids, just to get his dehydration under wraps. He's very much his old self again. The vet said that if I had brought him in before he was treated, there would be no hesitation in my decision to put him to sleep. But hopefully with the sub q's he can last a few more months. So, I guess this was a false alarm ... and I'll be doing everything I can to help my boy pull through until he decides that it is time. Again, thank you - I will definitely read up on resources for CKD - I now have a mini library of websites, and my vet is an amazing gal. So, thank you :hearthrob: :grouphug: :hearthrob: - I will definitely stick around and keep everyone updated on his progress. Oh, and pics too!
Click to expand...
Great news, Praise God! Check out Transfer Factors Plus, we were told by a vet who is "hip" about natural things and vitamins about it how it helps their (and our) immune system, we gave it to Serenity along with Prednisone when she had a brain tumor and she lived 1.5 years after that and her quality of life was very good, maybe it will help him too!

I hope all goes well, keep positive and let us know how you are doing!:clap2: :goodluck: :sunshine:
 
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quill_luv

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I'm planning to do a bi-weekly update just because he is doing so well at the moment and if things go south you'll know. Meanwhile, here's a pic I took of Quill about ten minutes ago - he's adopted the couch as "his" spot and doesn't really go anywhere else. I'm trying to reintroduce him to the rest of the house, lol - we've got a big, chilly 100+ year old home to get lost in. He's doing a thousand times better than a week ago. I will certainly check all of those out, les26 :)
 

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