Question of the Day - Monday, July 31, 2023

[MoochNNoodles]

I've been up a while but I'm definitely dealing with the Monday sleepies right now so please excuse me if this is a repeat question!

I see a lot of people joke about what their "toxic trait" is. ("Toxic traits refer to habits, behaviors, and ongoing actions that harm others. Many toxic traits (like self-centeredness) can be subtle, and we want to see the best in people." This includes things like lying and cheating but also perfectionism, judging others, etc) Most of these jokes aren't really toxic traits; so I'll call them "Non-toxic traits." They might be a little annoying to other people. Maybe you don't display them for others. They can the the little eccentricities of your personality; part of what makes you YOU.


What is your "non-toxic" trait/s?




I nickname everyone's pets and a small percentage of people I know (mostly kids; I'm sitting close to 24 kids in my family!!). Sometimes it helps me remember names; but usually with people it is a sign of affection. (even if I never use some out loud). I seem to learn names best if I see them in writing; but if I can't, I need a method to remember. So enter the nicknames!

For example; I call my cousin's son Vito-tomato. I'm not quite sure why except that it rhymes a bit? He's 3 1/2 and super adorable. My MIL's cat Gracie gets called Gracie Lou or Gracie Lou Freebush from Sandra Bullock's character name in Ms Congeniality. My kids and cats have tons of nicknames. They might morph over time. Like I used to call DS ____ Bear. Now he's become ____ Bean. Or just Bean. And he knows I'm calling him. I know better than to use the nickname in front of friends or anyone else; but at home it's fair game. A friend's cat is Gustopher and Gus Gus (from Cinderella). My friend doesn't even know I call her cat that in my mind. It just helps me keep everyone straight! And it's a little amusing.

 

[MonaLyssa33]

I've made having 5 animals a personality trait. I say that jokingly but I definitely talk about my animals a lot. I love to try new things, so I have tons of one-time crafts I've done and the left over supplies. I have a lot of other things that I enjoy doing, but I have so many hobbies and don't have the time to do all of them. I have a freaking pottery studio in my basement and I feel like I should be using it more than I do.

 

[Mia6]

I talk about Cal wayyyyy too much

 

[strider rose]

i am a loner most of the time

 

[neely]

I nickname everyone's pets and a small percentage of people I know

My husband nicknames the neighbors he doesn't like and they're not nice nicknames either. Living with him for so long I've done the same thing but my nicknames for the neighbors are much milder and usually about the ones who are unfriendly.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

My husband nicknames the neighbors he doesn't like and they're not nice nicknames either. Living with him for so long I've done the same thing but my nicknames for the neighbors are much milder and usually about the ones who are unfriendly.

Just as long as you don’t accidentally call them by nickname to their face. My mom and I used to work together and our office worked with several different women (from other agencies or offices) who went by Debbie. One was technically a boss above us but mom gave her a nickname you can guess because she always had some cleavage on display. It rolled off the tongue easier than referring to everyone by first and last name. (And it was not meant as an insult. She might even have found it funny. )

 

[denice]

Over time I have learned to cut people a lot of slack. Not to the point of being taken advantage of but we are all human and some have had a tougher road in life than others.

 

[misty8723]

i am a loner most of the time

I am an introvert, so I am a bit of a loner also, but I don't think of it as a toxic trait.

 

[kashmir64]

I have noticed that friends/family (and probably neighbors) are sick of me blasting MUSE 24/7.
But I just tell them "I'm old, have no vices (except smoking) and it makes me happy, get over it".
But I will never see MUSE as toxic.

 

[nurseangel]

In conversation, I expect people to know what I am thinking. I can leave out a large (significant) part of a story and assume they know without being told.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I name my knitting projects after my cats.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I am an introvert, so I am a bit of a loner also, but I don't think of it as a toxic trait.

Definitely not but it does seem to get on people’s nerves doesn’t it!? Like Excuse me for enjoying my own company! So many extroverts don’t get it.

 

[Jem]

I'm a bit OCD with some things...but I try really hard to not let MY issues affect others. For example, at work, we share spaces and our treatment rooms, and I like my room set up a very specific way. My co-workers know how I am, and we are all considerate of each other, so they would try to leave the room how I like it (of course, they never got it right...), and sometimes apologize for messing the room up. I told them flat out to stop worrying about it. Yes I'm particular, Yes I like the room they way I like it, but that's MY problem and I just make sure I'm hear early enough to set the room up the way I want it. Don't ever feel like you need to accommodate beyond what is considered normal common courtesy...as long as the room is clean, I'm good.

The issue is that when I see something that's "not right" or "not being done right", my brain short circuits for a second...but I also have the worst possible poker face, so anyone who sees my face will know. I don't say anything or try to intervene/take over...they just know.

One time, I was hosting Christmas dinner and my BIL took it upon himself to help cleanup the kitchen...great, no complaints. I was talking to my sister and I turned to see him using one of my tea towels to wipe the counter dry. I had my usual brain short and he just looked and ask "what?"...I said "Oh!..Nothing" and just moved on....My sister giggled (she knows me well) and told him....you're using the wrong cloth to wipe the counter...that one is for hands. I of course told him not to worry...again...that's MY problem, and I'm not going to complain when someone wants to help. And here's the kicker...he's quite the introvert just like me, so I understand his need to "get away" from the main event. Cleaning up the kitchen has always been the go to, to step away from all the kerfuffle.

 

[Winchester]

My husband nicknames the neighbors he doesn't like and they're not nice nicknames either.

Just as long as you don’t accidentally call them by nickname to their face.

Many, many moons ago, there was a man who started working in the factory I worked in. This guy was huge, never took a shower, and he always looked like he wanted to tear somebody apart. We all stayed away from him. And we called him Bear (although Sasquatch probably would have been a better name), but NEVER to his face. He was having trouble with his machine one morning and the supervisor walked over to see what was going on. "OK, Bear, what's your problem here?" And everybody's eyes got big. I just left and went to the bathroom. I wasn't dealing with it. Turns out the guy was pretty cool, didn't mind the name Bear at all, and got to the point where he was a lot of fun to be around (once you got past the odor).

Anyway, I digress. I'm an introvert and I'm shy. I don't do well in groups of people, esp when I don't know them. People who don't know me well will say that I'm standoffish, that I'm stuck up. Not true. I'm just scared. It's not as bad as it used to be, but there are still times when I just can't deal with it. And I'll hide out in the bathroom.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Anyway, I digress. I'm an introvert and I'm shy. I don't do well in groups of people, esp when I don't know them. People who don't know me well will say that I'm standoffish, that I'm stuck up. Not true. I'm just scared. It's not as bad as it used to be, but there are still times when I just can't deal with it. And I'll hide out in the bathroom.

I can totally relate. After I had a cold damage my hearing it got to be SO intimidating to talk to people in different situations. Did I mishear? Will they need to repeat themselves 4 times? Did I mishear and then respond wrong? Did I get lost in the conversation (because listening became work.) Then add the masks and plexiglass from the last 3 years... it got to be too much. I'm fine with small talk and sometimes it's preferable. But sometimes i just want to be in my safe bubble and not having to explain my awkward moments. But thank GOD I've had some sounds coming back and even my doctor's offices aren't masked anymore so I can actually HEAR them talk to me. I'm not trying to be rude; but I know there are times I have come off that way.

I went to college with a man who looked mean as all get out. He was from New York; the city not just the state. He was big and tall and could scowl with an awesome resting grumpy face. But he was the absolute sweetest and loved to laugh. He said he'd worked as a bouncer in a big club when he lived in the city. There was one guy in our classes who looked the exact opposite and was one of those people who talked constantly and just came off as goofy (he was actually pretty intelligent). They had a little game going on all semester messing with each other. Skinny goofy guy would act like he was trying to get on big guys nerves. Big guy would stand up like he was going to bounce him and then they'd both crack up. Along with everyone in our labs. Good times.

Don't ever feel like you need to accommodate beyond what is considered normal common courtesy..

I love that boundary. Thats one I try to keep up myself and teach my kids. I've had a few friends who you had to tip-toe around beyond common courtesy like that. And it's just exhausting. I've run into it with people over the years in work too. There is accommodating and then there are some who go beyond unreasonable to where they expect to give nothing themselves. That's not giving the harmony we all really want.

 

[denice]

I have known women with what is commonly called a resting b___h face. There is one at the company I work for now. We don't work in the same area so I never had any reason to talk to her. One day we were outside on break, don't remember which one spoke to the other first and we got started talking. She was nothing like what she looked like she could be.

 

[Jem]

I've had a few friends who you had to tip-toe around beyond common courtesy like that. And it's just exhausting.

Me too. And yes, it's quite exhausting and I never want to be "that person". And I also try to be courteous to others as well...why not try to make your environment happy and cohesive.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I have known women with what is commonly called a resting b___h face. There is one at the company I work for now. We don't work in the same area so I never had any reason to talk to her. One day we were outside on break, don't remember which one spoke to the other first and we got started talking. She was nothing like what she looked like she could be.

My cousin swears its genetic. I've worked to relax mine over the years but I don't know how many times I've just been sitting there minding my own business and someone asked what was wrong. When my cousin's grandson was born he inherited it. He looked like a grumpy lil old man when he was small. He likely did inherit some attitude from his mother and grandmother though.

 

[misty8723]

Definitely not but it does seem to get on people’s nerves doesn’t it!? Like Excuse me for enjoying my own company! So many extroverts don’t get it.

Probably like I don't get having to be around people all the time.

 

[Norachan]

I'm obsessively neat and tidy, to the point where I actually have to tell myself out loud. "That's clean enough now. Walk away from that and go and do something else."

I nickname everyone's pets and a small percentage of people I know

I've made up nicknames for all the people who regularly get on the same bus as me. I live on the outskirts of a very small village so I know almost everyone by sight. We all say hello to each other, but I don't know their real names. If I know their dog's names I call them, for example, Soru's mum or Nachan's dad. If not I give them nicknames like Mrs Dumpling, Grandma Dentures, Uncle Comb-Over etc.

Thankfully no one arounds here speaks English, so they wouldn't know what I'd said even if I ever did say it out loud.