Question of the Day, January 3, 2024

[neely]

Good morning and Happy Whiskers Wednesday!

When I first got married I was undecided about changing my last name especially since my only sibling was a sister. Hence, no one to carry on the family name. My children said they wished I had kept my maiden name and sometimes I feel the same way especially since my husband’s last name frequently gets misspelled. I know people who have hyphenated their maiden name with their spouse’s last name, shortened or abbreviated their last name or been divorced and changed their last name. How about you?

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LAST NAME, WANT TO CHANGE IT OR HAVE ALREADY CHANGED IT?

 

[bobkater]

I have trouble with both my names being misspelled by careless people - read the majority of people. But I'd have a lot more trouble trying to change them. It would be nice is we could choose our own names. It would be even nicer, and a lot, if we could choose many other things about us, like appearance, health etc.

But, it's a good consolation that I could choose my cat and his name.

 

[misty8723]

My last name - my husband's name - is always getting mispelled, even if I stand there and spell it for them emphasizing it's an I and not an E. But my maiden name was always misspelled too because there are two Ts and I guess the usual way is with one.

I've had this name for 43 years so I'm used to it. I know a lot of women use their maiden name instead of their middle name but I've never done that, except for genealogy purposes.

 

[maggiedemi]

If I got married, I would change it. It's a German last name and it's always misspelled because my grandfather changed the spelling to something that doesn't make sense. We are probably related to all the people in town who spell it the other way.

 

[susanm9006]

I wouldn’t change my last name since it has been with me for 72 years.

 

[Lari]

I was 36 when I got married and kept my last name. I told my husband it had been my name too long and it was just mine.

I do get called Mrs Husband'sLastName at times (especially at the pediatrician even thought they've been told I have a different name than my girls), and it depends on my mood whether I shrug it off or correct it.

I've recently taught J her last name and she likes to extrapolate "I J Lastname and that Baby Lastname and Daddy Lastname and Mommy Lastname " and it's like ... not quite darling.

 

[sivyaleah]

Marriage #1 - changed it. Regretted it. PITA to change it back to my maiden name.
Marriage #2 - never changed it. Yay me!
Marriage #3 - still my maiden name. Thought about changing it, but being older now it made no sense. Nobody calls me Mrs. His Last Name but - they do call him Mr. MY Last Name, a lot LOL.

My last name is extremely unique. The only people with it are people related to me and that's not a lot at this point. And I do like it.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I was super happy to change my last name. In school teachers and substitutes were forever thinking my maiden name was my first name and mispronouncing my first as my last. My first name isn’t super common but honestly there are plenty of people with my name and spelled the same too. My married name is hard to mess up (although it’s happened once). Its soo much nicer. DS will likely never have a problem. DD does occasionally; but its her first name that people mispronounce.

 

[Mia6]

i like it. married name

 

[neely]

But, it's a good consolation that I could choose my cat and his name.

I completely agree!

 

[Jem]

I'm complicated...
In a professional setting, I use my maiden name as I was that name for several years and built my practice with that name and did not want to mess that up. Also, my maiden name is so easy but my husbands name is always misspelled and mispronounced, I didn't want all that noise dealing with clients.
In my personal life I go by my husbands name...it's just easier in the sense that we both have the same name...although the whole spelling and pronunciation thing is still an issue.
With my bank and for tax purposes, my name is hyphenated. Just so that I don't encounter any money issues when doing any transactions either under my maiden or married name.

Now I'm not sure how things work elsewhere, but here you can "assume" your husbands name without legally changing it. So on my credit card, bills, drivers license and other things with my name on it other than birth certificate and passport, you can simply ask them to change your name.....I can't remember if I needed my marriage certificate for my drivers license, but overall it was pretty easy...just took time to contact everybody and tell them to change my name.

Legally I'm still my maiden name...I guess I simply have an alias...like some criminal or something...lol!

 

[vansX2]

I'm satisfied with my last name. When my DW married me her (Maiden Name)then became her middle name. She uses my surname. She wanted to retain her cultural tradition.

 

[lizzie]

I'm gonna say this,and I mean no disrespect to my Dad or anyone in the family,but I hated my maiden name.I took so much teasing,ribbing,name calling and I could go on,throughout my childhood,when I married,I had no problem taking his name.In fact,I was relieved.I hope that doesn't make me sound like an awful person,but that's just the way it was back then.

 

[neely]

I hope that doesn't make me sound like an awful person,but that's just the way it was back then.

It doesn't doesn't make you sound awful at all. You are a very kind, caring and sensitive person and would not engage in teasing or making fun of others. It's called bullying and as a retired teacher, trust me it still happens today and in some cases even worse, e.g. social media. Whenever I would hear someone being teased or belittled in the school halls I would call them out on it. I'm not a big lady and don't have a threatening nature but this type of behavior really irritated me especially since I worked with special educ. students many of whom were non-verbal and could not stand up for themselves. I'm sorry you had to endure this type of treatment at such a young age.

 

[di and bob]

I changed my name, I don't particularly like hyphenated names. it always makes me think they didn't want to become 'one' with their husband, and want to remain separate, distanced somehow from him. Hardly anyone gets married nowadays, so I guess this isn't a real problem. Although I wish they would consider the problems and legalities of not being married. I have several friends that have never married, the partner has become disabled, and now the remaining partner has lost everything because the disabled partner has comingled all their property and money. Try to separate your money from theirs to Medicaid! I am too old to change, I embrace tradition........

 

[betsygee]

I was 36 when I got married and kept my last name. I told my husband it had been my name too long and it was just mine.

I was 26 when I got married, but, same idea.

 

[PMousse]

I've always liked my last name, it felt like part of me. However, one summer when I was a teenager while I was visiting my paternal grandparents, I learned, during a random conversation with them, that when my grandpa was a teenager fighting in the war he had changed his last name...which means that the last name I carry with me is not my 'real' last name

 

[MonaLyssa33]

It's okay, I suppose. It's a not common in the slightest and mispronounced all the time (it's German). I wouldn't change it though. If I were to get married, I wouldn't take my spouse's last name because I've had my last name for almost 38 years and it's who I am. If I got married younger, I might have changed it.

 

[cassiopea]

I like my last name - when my parents married my mom kept her name, and in turn I inherited both last names via hyphenated. (Which I love and proud of) one is a Finnish, and the other is Irish. Wouldn't change it for the world.

Definitely NOT changing my last name if or when I get married, for a long list of reasons. Nor am I adding my husband's name to my own.

People have a hard time spelling it and pronouncing it in North America, but in Europe everyone says it effortlessly without a blink of an eye which is awesome. Nor do they wonder or question it since many parts of Europe women keep their last names or children inherit the mother's name too, so it is very normal. But in North America many people have harped on me for my parents giving me both their names or assumed divorce or I was married. Sigh. Makes me miss Europe.