Hi all,
Ok, so most everyone in the babbling thread, or whom I've had PM discussions with know most of the story.
For those who don't, here is the backstory, leading up to my current anxiety ridden mind:
Binx is my 1.3 y/o resident male (neutered) kitty that I'd only had for a few months before realizing that he desperately wanted a kitty playmate. Trouble is, I had no idea what to look for in a playmate, so I consulted heavily with a highly reputable rescue organization (Lost Paws Rescue of Texas), and they worked with me (based off of descriptions of Binx's behaviors, energy levels, desire for play, etc.) to find a suitable companion available within their foster network, or their sister networks.
Meet Eddie, a 3 y/o (neutered) male kitty, who was in desperate need of a loving home, preferably with cats. Eddie is currently on a month long foster-to-adopt trial, to see how he and Binx work out as playmates/friends, etc. Bearb in mind that I am a first time cat owner with no experience whatsoever in understanding cat behavior, BUT I always make sure to do my homework before making any kind of decision, because in real life, there are no SOP's (standard operating procedures- I'm a Marine Corps vet and still talk the lingo) for anything, much less animals.
Given all of my research, I had little expectations for them to hit it off right away, but their current behavior has me baffled, and I'm hoping for several interpretations of what is happening, and if there is hope for a long term companionship between these two.
The first thing I did before even bringing Eddie home (mostly because Binx was undergoing some tests, and I wanted his companion to come to a healthy home), was to bring Binx scent-laced clothing with me when I went to meet Eddie (the primary candidate) for the first time. Eddie showed no signs of aggression or nervous behavior towards Binx's scent, and happily flopped on the floor in front of me within a matter of minutes. I then ruled a cloth all over Eddie, and zip-locked it so the scent would remain strong. When I returned home, Binx showed zero aggressive/nervous signs towards the cloth, and even "made biscuits" on it.
Taking this as a positive sign, the foster mother and I made arrangements for the organization leader to bring Eddie to my home (a week ago, today). She talked me through various ways to introduce them, and discussed how Eddie has been free fed, etc, and various ways to adjust him to the schedule I have Binx on (because I'm a college student, and Binx is a glutton and will eat all the food before Eddie could get a bite in. I affectionately call Binx my "Hoover", or "little pot bellied pig").
As soon as Eddie was brought in (unfortunately coming off of a vet visit, and a showing, Eddie was a bit out of it. She placed Eddie (in his kennel) on my living room floor, and Binx immediately ran over, plunked himself down, and eagerly took in the sight and smell of Eddie. No lashing tail, whiskers forward, "kitty loaf" position, and ears perked forward. I was basically ignored from that point on, as Binx was fascinated by the new addition.
We left them to take in the smells, and I walked the org leader through my apartment, showing her everything I had done to prepare for Eddie's arrival (litterbox, food and water dishes, a bed, etc, all in the bedroom, because my bathroom was far too small to reasonably accommodate all those objects), and she approved. I always do my homework.
After the tour, and review of my food/litter/etc stock (I was't kidding when I told her I had enough food and litter for six cats), we took Eddie into the bedroom, closed off the bedroom and bathroom doors, then let him out of his kennel. He immediately began exploring- not once has he hidden under the bed- and using the toys I had set aside just for him. After further discussion on how best to get the cats used to each other (a.k.a. the standard playbook "don't let them see each other, exchange scented cloths, rotate rooms, feed each other by the doors to reinforce positivity with each other"), the leader took off, and I started preparing their evening meals.
I fed them by the bedroom door- lots of sniffing, neither ate much, but because Binx is on timed meals, I allowed 30 min before I had to toss out the wet food (REALLY didn't want more vet bills for sick cats). I then tried playing the usual evening games with Binx, who largely ignored my attempts, and then closed down shop for the night. I snuggled and played with Eddie for a bit, before going to sleep. Usually Binx sleeps on the bed with me, but recently my mother had visited, and her snoring must have put him off, so sleeping in the living room didn't appear to bother Binx (not a peep of frustration out of him).
The next morning I did the same individual play, then feed strategy, but then what I call the "botched operation" occurred.
As I was attempting to switch the cats rooms, my annoyingly smart cat, Binx, darted out of the bathroom before I could stop him, and before I knew it, he was eagerly sniffing at Eddie, who was probably still pissed off from his vet visit. There was only curiosity on Binx's part, which Eddie mostly ignored (unless Binx got too close, in which he would hiss). I tried separating them again, but at that point neither would have it.
So step two and three happened WAY too fast, but both seemed to tolerate each others presence quite well. Binx would shadow Eddie, curious, while Eddie was exploring the rest of the apartment. Once Eddie was done exploring, Binx made several attempts at play, which were quickly rebuffed by hisses on Eddie's part. This was Day Two, so no surprises that Eddie was hissy.
I made up my mind to carefully observe their interactions, at a distance. Only a few hours passed, and they sniffed noses, and have since then sniffed tails. for the last few days, all Eddie has wanted was cuddles and snuggles, but Binx wanted play. Up until two days ago, all Binx would do was sprint and bounce around the apartment like a mad jackrabbit, to entice Eddie into "kitty play". Eddie wasn't really having any of it, because he's all about "the pets", and destroying feathery toys -_-
CURRENT SITUATION:
Since the "botched operation", they've eaten side by side, lain on the tiles in front of the fireplace tail to tail, shared the same litterbox (don't know why I bothered putting one in the bedroom, neither appear to want to use it), shared the same water fountain, and even exposed their bellies to one another. They have not yet progressed to mutual grooming.
The catch is that in the last few days, it appears that Binx has grown tired of simply trying to entice Eddie into play, and has moved on to outright "jumping" him. This has led to several vocal skirmishes, and never having experienced such, and not knowing how to handle such an abrupt change in behavior, I turn to y'all for insight, advice, etc.
I've already been advised that it would be best to return Eddie, now, since they've started "fighting", but I've fallen in love with the vocal love-bug (I swear, he's a Siamese dipped in ink- the total opposite of silent Binx), and am heartsick at the idea of returning him so soon. Plus, it's only been a week, and if they've been tolerable of each other/peaceable since day two of their introduction, I'm holding onto a thin shred of hope that this situation turns for the better.
One of the biggest reasons I'm so reluctant to send Eddie back is because I've needed loving, in-home companionship for a long time (of the animal variety, people tend to annoy me, and I can often be a tyrant of a roommate).
Despite loving him to bits and treating him like my baby boy prince, Binx isn't able/willing to loving, cuddly fuzz therapy I desperately need- Eddie, on the other hand, has more than fulfilled my daily fuzz-therapy quota.
I'm sure some people are thinking "maybe you should have gotten a dog", but I am a disabled USMC vet with back and hip problems, so a dog in an apartment is somewhat out of the question (unless it's a Basenji puppy, they can be litter trained). If Eddie ultimately doesn't work out, that may be what I end up having to do. My family has only had Basenji dogs when I was growing up, and I wasn't allowed to have a pet in the barracks during my 9 year stint in the Corps. three years of school after discharge, and I realized that I REALLY missed/needed animal companionship.
Well, that's my story, so far. If anyone has advice, support, Prozac, or can commiserate, I'm more than willing (and happy) to listen.
P.S. I think I just saw my first play fight between them, but am not totally sure, because the one immediately following had meows, which indicated someone was mad (usually Eddie).
Ok, so most everyone in the babbling thread, or whom I've had PM discussions with know most of the story.
For those who don't, here is the backstory, leading up to my current anxiety ridden mind:
Binx is my 1.3 y/o resident male (neutered) kitty that I'd only had for a few months before realizing that he desperately wanted a kitty playmate. Trouble is, I had no idea what to look for in a playmate, so I consulted heavily with a highly reputable rescue organization (Lost Paws Rescue of Texas), and they worked with me (based off of descriptions of Binx's behaviors, energy levels, desire for play, etc.) to find a suitable companion available within their foster network, or their sister networks.
Meet Eddie, a 3 y/o (neutered) male kitty, who was in desperate need of a loving home, preferably with cats. Eddie is currently on a month long foster-to-adopt trial, to see how he and Binx work out as playmates/friends, etc. Bearb in mind that I am a first time cat owner with no experience whatsoever in understanding cat behavior, BUT I always make sure to do my homework before making any kind of decision, because in real life, there are no SOP's (standard operating procedures- I'm a Marine Corps vet and still talk the lingo) for anything, much less animals.
Given all of my research, I had little expectations for them to hit it off right away, but their current behavior has me baffled, and I'm hoping for several interpretations of what is happening, and if there is hope for a long term companionship between these two.
The first thing I did before even bringing Eddie home (mostly because Binx was undergoing some tests, and I wanted his companion to come to a healthy home), was to bring Binx scent-laced clothing with me when I went to meet Eddie (the primary candidate) for the first time. Eddie showed no signs of aggression or nervous behavior towards Binx's scent, and happily flopped on the floor in front of me within a matter of minutes. I then ruled a cloth all over Eddie, and zip-locked it so the scent would remain strong. When I returned home, Binx showed zero aggressive/nervous signs towards the cloth, and even "made biscuits" on it.
Taking this as a positive sign, the foster mother and I made arrangements for the organization leader to bring Eddie to my home (a week ago, today). She talked me through various ways to introduce them, and discussed how Eddie has been free fed, etc, and various ways to adjust him to the schedule I have Binx on (because I'm a college student, and Binx is a glutton and will eat all the food before Eddie could get a bite in. I affectionately call Binx my "Hoover", or "little pot bellied pig").
As soon as Eddie was brought in (unfortunately coming off of a vet visit, and a showing, Eddie was a bit out of it. She placed Eddie (in his kennel) on my living room floor, and Binx immediately ran over, plunked himself down, and eagerly took in the sight and smell of Eddie. No lashing tail, whiskers forward, "kitty loaf" position, and ears perked forward. I was basically ignored from that point on, as Binx was fascinated by the new addition.
We left them to take in the smells, and I walked the org leader through my apartment, showing her everything I had done to prepare for Eddie's arrival (litterbox, food and water dishes, a bed, etc, all in the bedroom, because my bathroom was far too small to reasonably accommodate all those objects), and she approved. I always do my homework.
After the tour, and review of my food/litter/etc stock (I was't kidding when I told her I had enough food and litter for six cats), we took Eddie into the bedroom, closed off the bedroom and bathroom doors, then let him out of his kennel. He immediately began exploring- not once has he hidden under the bed- and using the toys I had set aside just for him. After further discussion on how best to get the cats used to each other (a.k.a. the standard playbook "don't let them see each other, exchange scented cloths, rotate rooms, feed each other by the doors to reinforce positivity with each other"), the leader took off, and I started preparing their evening meals.
I fed them by the bedroom door- lots of sniffing, neither ate much, but because Binx is on timed meals, I allowed 30 min before I had to toss out the wet food (REALLY didn't want more vet bills for sick cats). I then tried playing the usual evening games with Binx, who largely ignored my attempts, and then closed down shop for the night. I snuggled and played with Eddie for a bit, before going to sleep. Usually Binx sleeps on the bed with me, but recently my mother had visited, and her snoring must have put him off, so sleeping in the living room didn't appear to bother Binx (not a peep of frustration out of him).
The next morning I did the same individual play, then feed strategy, but then what I call the "botched operation" occurred.
As I was attempting to switch the cats rooms, my annoyingly smart cat, Binx, darted out of the bathroom before I could stop him, and before I knew it, he was eagerly sniffing at Eddie, who was probably still pissed off from his vet visit. There was only curiosity on Binx's part, which Eddie mostly ignored (unless Binx got too close, in which he would hiss). I tried separating them again, but at that point neither would have it.
So step two and three happened WAY too fast, but both seemed to tolerate each others presence quite well. Binx would shadow Eddie, curious, while Eddie was exploring the rest of the apartment. Once Eddie was done exploring, Binx made several attempts at play, which were quickly rebuffed by hisses on Eddie's part. This was Day Two, so no surprises that Eddie was hissy.
I made up my mind to carefully observe their interactions, at a distance. Only a few hours passed, and they sniffed noses, and have since then sniffed tails. for the last few days, all Eddie has wanted was cuddles and snuggles, but Binx wanted play. Up until two days ago, all Binx would do was sprint and bounce around the apartment like a mad jackrabbit, to entice Eddie into "kitty play". Eddie wasn't really having any of it, because he's all about "the pets", and destroying feathery toys -_-
CURRENT SITUATION:
Since the "botched operation", they've eaten side by side, lain on the tiles in front of the fireplace tail to tail, shared the same litterbox (don't know why I bothered putting one in the bedroom, neither appear to want to use it), shared the same water fountain, and even exposed their bellies to one another. They have not yet progressed to mutual grooming.
The catch is that in the last few days, it appears that Binx has grown tired of simply trying to entice Eddie into play, and has moved on to outright "jumping" him. This has led to several vocal skirmishes, and never having experienced such, and not knowing how to handle such an abrupt change in behavior, I turn to y'all for insight, advice, etc.
I've already been advised that it would be best to return Eddie, now, since they've started "fighting", but I've fallen in love with the vocal love-bug (I swear, he's a Siamese dipped in ink- the total opposite of silent Binx), and am heartsick at the idea of returning him so soon. Plus, it's only been a week, and if they've been tolerable of each other/peaceable since day two of their introduction, I'm holding onto a thin shred of hope that this situation turns for the better.
One of the biggest reasons I'm so reluctant to send Eddie back is because I've needed loving, in-home companionship for a long time (of the animal variety, people tend to annoy me, and I can often be a tyrant of a roommate).
Despite loving him to bits and treating him like my baby boy prince, Binx isn't able/willing to loving, cuddly fuzz therapy I desperately need- Eddie, on the other hand, has more than fulfilled my daily fuzz-therapy quota.
I'm sure some people are thinking "maybe you should have gotten a dog", but I am a disabled USMC vet with back and hip problems, so a dog in an apartment is somewhat out of the question (unless it's a Basenji puppy, they can be litter trained). If Eddie ultimately doesn't work out, that may be what I end up having to do. My family has only had Basenji dogs when I was growing up, and I wasn't allowed to have a pet in the barracks during my 9 year stint in the Corps. three years of school after discharge, and I realized that I REALLY missed/needed animal companionship.
Well, that's my story, so far. If anyone has advice, support, Prozac, or can commiserate, I'm more than willing (and happy) to listen.
P.S. I think I just saw my first play fight between them, but am not totally sure, because the one immediately following had meows, which indicated someone was mad (usually Eddie).
