Hi, I'm asking this question for my Mum really. She's lived with my stepbrother (15) for nearly 10 years now since his Mum died. She's always been there for him and my stepsister and has done everything she can to treat them as her own, just as their Dad has done for me and my sister.
My brother has always been a handful, just very careless, forgetful and just generally a boy! (no offence to the men out there reading this...) she's always battled with him to do anything. He makes a half hearted attempt at everything and has recently been getting letters sent home from school about his work. He is very clever but its like he has an objection to doing anything he's asked. He'll do things like burning plastic in his room and let us all run around the house for half an hour making sure the house isnt burning down before admitting it was him that produced the burning smell. He used to leave items of clothing at school constantly, which I know is probably just a teenage boy thing but it cost my mum a fortune in new clothes.
He won't admit when he's done something wrong, instead he'll lie and lie about it until eventually he gets found out and is in 10 times more trouble than he would have been if he just admitted what he had done in the first place.
He takes your belongings without consent and breaks them because he is too careless to look after them, then lies about having had whatever it is.
I could go on like this forever but I won't. My Mum and stepdad have tried everything, they've even spoken to the school on several occasions to see if there is anything going on which could be upsetting him.
I know it is upsetting losing a parent, but he was very very young and has almost always had 2 parents.
Anyway my Mum is beginning to lose it with him. He has no respect for her at all.
At the moment my stepdad is on a skiing holiday so my Mum is there alone with him and my stepsister. Every year when he goes away my brother seems to get worse.
Last night he was writing an essay for school and my sister checked it over for him. The subject was something along the lines of 'Is it acceptable to smack your kids...' basically he had written that he was smacked throughout his childhood and given examples of when he was smacked. There was never an occasion when he was smacked as a child and so this really upset my Mum. She told him to change it because it was not ok to give an essay to his school with lies like that in it. My stepdad is also devastated that he's said this because he's always been a no smacking parent.
My brother hit the roof, tore up his essay and basically swore blue murder at my Mum and told her he wasn't coming home tonight.
She is very upset and more or less at the end of her patience.
I thought my brother might benefit from going to something like Camp America where he would have a purpose and responsibility but since he's only 15 thats not possible. They result to grounding him at the moment but it doesn't work, although he stays in it just means he is there more to cause arguements and havoc.
I've tried talking to him but nothing happens. I think he has a lot going on inside, I don't know what it is but something has to be done. My Mum is upset almost everytime I speak to her and I can't have that.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with him? Or have you experienced anything like this?
When reading my examples of his behaviour it might not seem to big a deal but when you are faced with 2 or 3 of these things a day it wears you down.
My brother has always been a handful, just very careless, forgetful and just generally a boy! (no offence to the men out there reading this...) she's always battled with him to do anything. He makes a half hearted attempt at everything and has recently been getting letters sent home from school about his work. He is very clever but its like he has an objection to doing anything he's asked. He'll do things like burning plastic in his room and let us all run around the house for half an hour making sure the house isnt burning down before admitting it was him that produced the burning smell. He used to leave items of clothing at school constantly, which I know is probably just a teenage boy thing but it cost my mum a fortune in new clothes.
He won't admit when he's done something wrong, instead he'll lie and lie about it until eventually he gets found out and is in 10 times more trouble than he would have been if he just admitted what he had done in the first place.
He takes your belongings without consent and breaks them because he is too careless to look after them, then lies about having had whatever it is.
I could go on like this forever but I won't. My Mum and stepdad have tried everything, they've even spoken to the school on several occasions to see if there is anything going on which could be upsetting him.
I know it is upsetting losing a parent, but he was very very young and has almost always had 2 parents.
Anyway my Mum is beginning to lose it with him. He has no respect for her at all.
At the moment my stepdad is on a skiing holiday so my Mum is there alone with him and my stepsister. Every year when he goes away my brother seems to get worse.
Last night he was writing an essay for school and my sister checked it over for him. The subject was something along the lines of 'Is it acceptable to smack your kids...' basically he had written that he was smacked throughout his childhood and given examples of when he was smacked. There was never an occasion when he was smacked as a child and so this really upset my Mum. She told him to change it because it was not ok to give an essay to his school with lies like that in it. My stepdad is also devastated that he's said this because he's always been a no smacking parent.
My brother hit the roof, tore up his essay and basically swore blue murder at my Mum and told her he wasn't coming home tonight.
She is very upset and more or less at the end of her patience.
I thought my brother might benefit from going to something like Camp America where he would have a purpose and responsibility but since he's only 15 thats not possible. They result to grounding him at the moment but it doesn't work, although he stays in it just means he is there more to cause arguements and havoc.
I've tried talking to him but nothing happens. I think he has a lot going on inside, I don't know what it is but something has to be done. My Mum is upset almost everytime I speak to her and I can't have that.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with him? Or have you experienced anything like this?
When reading my examples of his behaviour it might not seem to big a deal but when you are faced with 2 or 3 of these things a day it wears you down.