Potential bullying from both cats

[Kacox]

I am desperate to stop night time bullying from my cats. My male cat, 3 yr old, Keith is super high energy and curious all the time. I adopted him a few months after my girl, also 3 yr old, Greta who is more chill and loving. I started out with the first month room swapping but have no possible way of doing that tactic of keeping them separate anymore. They usually tolerate each other and have been able to be in close proximity without conflict before but it's not always peaceful. They are both displaying some bullying and aggressive behavior. Greta will out of no where just go for Keith and growl at him when he's minding his own business. Keith on the other hand will stalk and scare her when she is vulnerable, at the littler box and while eating or drinking. Sometimes she wards him off but sometimes he is relentless. I'm not sure if it's because he has way too much pent up energy and has no where else to redirect it or what. It's definitely worse at night than during the day.
Yes I do have 3 litter boxes, and many food and water dishes around my place.
I'm desperate for a solution to help get them to stop and especially for Keith to learn that what he is doing is a no no. Again, the room swapping is just simply no longer possible due to other factors.

 

[Micaela227]

Have this cats recently meet or have they been around each other for a while? I got my cats to bond with the new kitten (who they hated) by playing with them at the same time with the same toys. Also, because of my three year old male cat the kitten isn't allowed in certain places, like my bed. Maybe you could try to figure which places are your cat's favorites and keep the other one out of it? So they can have their own peace and quiet when they need it.

 

[di and bob]

Females do not like their peace disturbed. They are the manners teachers. She will get to the point of getting tired of his stalking and put him in his place eventually, he is trying to gain the top spot in the hierarchy. All sounds pretty normal really, and while they may not become best friends, they will form a family unit and get much closer in time. It will take at least a few more months. don't let him stalk her at the litterbox, she may start going else where. Get a kickeroo, or one of those flapping fish and throw it towards him when he does to distract him. Believe me, in a year she will be the queen of her domain and he will THINK he has won.

 

[ArtNJ]

I think Keith is just playing obnoxiously. He is more of a PITA than a bully. Its fairly common, although by 3 a lot of cats have outgrown the tendency to relentlessly pester other cats that don't want to play. It does make for problems, and obviously litter box stalking, which is a less common part of the package, can make for particular problems. Its unfortunate that the girl is not more interested in playing, but this may change as she gets more used to him.

If you can't do more of an introduction process, and it sounds like you can't, then main thing is to let time work its magic. You should see some improvement over time. You mentioned you have 3 boxes which is good. Take lids off so she can't be cornered in them and can see out. Add tall scratching posts and/or clear a mantle she can reach of knick knacks if you can, elevation helps cats feel safe. Play with the boy as much as you can. Beyond that, time is the main thing.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I am guessing they just didn't have enough time with a proper introduction process, so now that it isn't possible anymore, you will have to come up with innovative ways to put space between them until they have had more time to adapt to each other. Greta is probably just guarding her own space when you think that 'out of no where' she goes after him - she sees a pattern with him stalking/scaring her, so she is on constant alert and is reacting in anticipation of another 'incident'.

Any place to give Greta her own space without Keith having to be around her all the time? Any options about blockading off any parts of your living space? The latter might be the only solution for now to stop the night time events. We can be quite creative with ideas when we know what we are dealing with space-wise.

 

[Kacox]

Thanks for the replies every one. I feel a little better about the situation.
The only met 2 months ago, so I'm sure they will get better in time. For now Greta rules the cat tree and most vertical surfaces, he only really tries to chase her around when she's walking around at night. They will coexist on the trees, and lay near each other peacefully, he doesn't dare try to pester her up there. They are very well behaved at meal time and don't bother each other while they're both eating. Luckily Keith is very distractable when he is trying to stalk her, which is what makes me think he is either pestering her to play all the time and also trying to gain some dominance.
I should also mention that Keith was a stray and was intact for most of the 3 years of his life, he was only neutered in July this yeasr when the shelter picked him up.
According to my boyfriend they are more on edge when I'm home vs when I'm not home, and they both are very attached to me so I wonder if jealousy can also have something to do with it.

 

[Kacox]

I think Keith is just playing obnoxiously. He is more of a PITA than a bully. Its fairly common, although by 3 a lot of cats have outgrown the tendency to relentlessly pester other cats that don't want to play. It does make for problems, and obviously litter box stalking, which is a less common part of the package, can make for particular problems. Its unfortunate that the girl is not more interested in playing, but this may change as she gets more used to him.

If you can't do more of an introduction process, and it sounds like you can't, then main thing is to let time work its magic. You should see some improvement over time. You mentioned you have 3 boxes which is good. Take lids off so she can't be cornered in them and can see out. Add tall scratching posts and/or clear a mantle she can reach of knick knacks if you can, elevation helps cats feel safe. Play with the boy as much as you can. Beyond that, time is the main thing.

In adopting Keith I was hoping that he would encourage Greta to play more. Currently she loves to play, but almost exclusively with me and I can't give her as much exersize she needs by myself. She's also a little overweight so she is on a diet and getting slightly less calories than she is used to.

 

[Kacox]

Have this cats recently meet or have they been around each other for a while? I got my cats to bond with the new kitten (who they hated) by playing with them at the same time with the same toys. Also, because of my three year old male cat the kitten isn't allowed in certain places, like my bed. Maybe you could try to figure which places are your cat's favorites and keep the other one out of it? So they can have their own peace and quiet when they need it.

When I try that method Keith will play with the toy while Greta just watches him cautiously. She will kind of get into playing with a separate toy, but he is a major play hog.

 

[Kacox]

I am guessing they just didn't have enough time with a proper introduction process, so now that it isn't possible anymore, you will have to come up with innovative ways to put space between them until they have had more time to adapt to each other. Greta is probably just guarding her own space when you think that 'out of no where' she goes after him - she sees a pattern with him stalking/scaring her, so she is on constant alert and is reacting in anticipation of another 'incident'.

Any place to give Greta her own space without Keith having to be around her all the time? Any options about blockading off any parts of your living space? The latter might be the only solution for now to stop the night time events. We can be quite creative with ideas when we know what we are dealing with space-wise.

I have an area gated off, it's accessible by both cats but only one of them really uses it unless I'm in there.

 

[Kacox]

I would also like to mention that Greta was part of a bonded pair when she was given to the shelter but 4 days before I was scheduled to pick them up her sister died from respiratory complications. She was the younger and up until April lived her entire life with another cat around.

 

[FeebysOwner]

The only met 2 months ago, so I'm sure they will get better in time.

Oh, yeah two months is nothing for some cats!

According to my boyfriend they are more on edge when I'm home vs when I'm not home, and they both are very attached to me so I wonder if jealousy can also have something to do with it.

Or, they can sense your anxiousness with their situation - those vibes do 'rub off' on cats!

I have an area gated off, it's accessible by both cats but only one of them really uses it unless I'm in there.

Anyway to gate off one of them at night, just to stop the 'bickering' at that time?

up until April lived her entire life with another cat around.

She may have gone through the process of adapting to being a single cat, and now has to 'reverse gears'. Another aspect to consider when dealing with her being upset over this whole new situation she is in.

 

[ArtNJ]

Its unfortunate that there is an activity level mismatch, that always makes things more difficult. But if she relaxes a little and he backs off a little, things will find a way to improve.

As near as I can figure, the most important factors in determining whether cats get along are age, activity/personality match and on the negative side, general anxiety/stress levels. Two three year olds have a pretty decent chance of ending up friends in the abstract but with the activity level mismatch, you might have to settle for getting closer to toleration.

 

[Kacox]

I'm wondering if her energy level has lessened because she is on guard. Before I got Keith, Greta was relentless with begging me to play with her all the time and would sprint around the apartment all night long.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I'm wondering if her energy level has lessened because she is on guard. Before I got Keith, Greta was relentless with begging me to play with her all the time and would sprint around the apartment all night long.

I would imagine so.

Plus, if she isn't adapting well to her 'new diet' because she gets less to eat, that doesn't always bode well for a good attitude either!! Just make sure her food reduction isn't too drastic that it could cause her to feel hungry all the time - on top of everything else she is going through. If it is too much a food quantity change, I suppose that could also affect her energy level?

 

[ArtNJ]

I'm wondering if her energy level has lessened because she is on guard. Before I got Keith, Greta was relentless with begging me to play with her all the time and would sprint around the apartment all night long.

On guard is definitely a thing. You might be able to play with her in a room with a closed door. Nice to give her a little break as well.