Post Adoption Depression advice

[mochimoo]

Just signed up to ask for advice. I grew up a cat lover, I had a cat growing up lived about 17 years, and was an ornery but lovable old man. This past year a friend at work was fostering some kittens for the local humane society and I fell in love with them and chose to adopt one. She is 8 weeks old, a total sweetheart, and currently is curled up with me napping right now. I am only 3 days into having her in my life but I've had this weird anxious pit in my stomach nonstop worried about caring for her, how she acts when I'm not with her if the neighbors will be bothered by her, why won't she stop meowing, etc. I think it started after the first night she wouldn't let me sleep, constantly meowing. Last night I let her free roam and she did better and only woke me up twice. I hate that I'm thinking like this, but I don't know how to make these feelings go away, I've even thought about bringing her back to the humane society

My main questions are:
Why am I having thoughts like this?
How do I get her to quiet down?
Am I fit to be a pet owner?

 

[Jem]

Why are you feeling like this?
Well first, let me tell you that you are NOT the only one who feels this way. We have many members here that have had the same or at least similar feelings as you after adopting a new pet. I won't presume to tell you WHY you feel like this, but you are now responsible for a new little life which can be scary for someone who wants to do right for the little kitty. This is all completely normal and shows you to be a caring pet lover. Which leads me to your last question about being fit to be a pet owner....Anyone who worries if they are doing the right thing, who seeks out advice and tries their best to provide a loving home and the best care they can, IMO, is "fit" to be a pet owner. This includes, proper nutrition, vet care, love and affection and an environment that is safe and enriching for the animal. And with all of these things, if you need help and advice, we are here if you need us.
(Well, when it comes to vet care, we do leave that up to the vets, but we can still help in our own way...)

As to your question about quieting her down...
She is still a kitten, and kittens a giant balls of energy so it may take some time, but there are things you can do to help.
Play with her as much as you can, especially a big play session before bed to hopefully tire her out.
Be sure she has food always available to eat. Kittens burn a lot of energy and basically....there is no such thing as overfeeding a kitten. Also be sure to feed her kitten appropriate food, it tends to have more calories/nutrients for their ever growing bodies.
Another thing to consider, she is in a new environment, and it's perfectly understandable that she needs to adjust to her new living situation. Now don't feel bad, but she is also used to having siblings to play with and company most of the time. She'll adjust though, so as I said...don't feel bad about that. If you keep her well fed and well played with, she'll adjust just fine.

Enjoy your new addition, and welcome to our wonderful community!

 

[vince]

I have had post-adoption anxiety or depression every time I've brought a cat home. It will pass. It's a bit of a challenge, being responsible for another little life, and no, you're not a bad pet owner. Things will get better.

I know this doesn't sound like much help, but have you thought of a companion cat for your girl? Getting a second was the best thing for both of us. Gave him somebody to beat up on and gave me much more restful sleep. There might be more noise like cattle stampeding at night, but it's better than having your cat bite your nose and attack your feet.

She's had at least as big a change in her life as you have. That's why she's crying at night. She most likely is concerned about not having the usual smells and noises she was used to. You might get her a ticking clock or a heartbeat cuddle toy to mimic her mom's heartbeat. I also leave a radio softly playing on some talk station to mimic activity in the house.

 

[IkeaMonkey]

I’m coming out of it just a bit now and I got my young fella two weeks ago. I feel your pain! Never felt real anxiety, tight chested feeling before. One thing I was so nervous about was how if he was bothering my neighbors! Especially at night. I decided to have as much control of the situation as possible and this is what worked. 1. I bought a few new rugs to curb some of the noise of his running and jumping. 2. I play with him a ton before bed, right before bed! And feed right after, like 10:30-11. This has helped him chill out at night sooo much. I also only put out quiet things at night and remove any toy that makes too much noise, like a crinkle ball.

So- just want to say that this is normal and to give it time! As I continue to tell myself that each day

 

[Talien]

I can't speak about adoption anxiety since I've never experienced it and have nothing to base anything I might say on, but as for what to do with your Kitten specifically.....

She's still very young so it's possible she's meowing constantly because she's lonely, either because she misses the attention she was getting from mom or misses having the other Kittens to run and play with. If that's the case she'll grow out of it sooner or later but it might help if you got another Kitten to keep her company, even if it's only on a temporary foster basis.

 

[Siamese brothers mom]

Just signed up to ask for advice. I grew up a cat lover, I had a cat growing up lived about 17 years, and was an ornery but lovable old man. This past year a friend at work was fostering some kittens for the local humane society and I fell in love with them and chose to adopt one. She is 8 weeks old, a total sweetheart, and currently is curled up with me napping right now. I am only 3 days into having her in my life but I've had this weird anxious pit in my stomach nonstop worried about caring for her, how she acts when I'm not with her if the neighbors will be bothered by her, why won't she stop meowing, etc. I think it started after the first night she wouldn't let me sleep, constantly meowing. Last night I let her free roam and she did better and only woke me up twice. I hate that I'm thinking like this, but I don't know how to make these feelings go away, I've even thought about bringing her back to the humane society

My main questions are:
Why am I having thoughts like this?
How do I get her to quiet down?
Am I fit to be a pet owner?

Hi, We have 2 kittens that are now 4 months old. We were cat free for around 6 years, so it was a big change. I too have had my moments. It’s like having 2 toddlers around. They get into everything like it’s the first time they have seen stuff. It’s really funny and precious, but it can be overwhelming. I just read as much as I can when they do things that concern me. This site has so much information and so many people who really know what it is to have a kitten in your life. They will be getting fixed next week so I am hoping that will be the start of them being a little calmer. I am aware that it takes a while though. One kitten is very busy and the other seems more mature. I know that when kittens grow up they do calm down and are much easier. I keep this in mind when I deal with their behavior, knowing that “this too will pass”.

 

[rubysmama]

mochimoo : Hello and welcome to TCS. And congrats on being a brand new cat parent.

Why am I having thoughts like this?

Because they're normal thoughts about a big change in your life. Other members have posted about the same thing before, and things almost always work out fine between human and kitty.

How do I get her to quiet down?

Spend time with her. Give her a nice bed (or box) to sleep in.

Maybe even get her one of these snuggle kitties.
SmartPetLove Snuggle Kitty Behavioral Aid Toy for Pets, Tan Tiger : Amazon.ca: Pet Supplies

And read this TCS article on 9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment or House – TheCatSite Articles

Am I fit to be a pet owner?

Absolutely. You're worried about her, and you've come here looking for advice / support. That shows you're a caring and repsonsible purr-son.

Here's a couple more TCS articles that might be helpful:
First-time Cat Owner's Guide | TheCatSite
Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips | TheCatSite

 

[calicosrspecial]

Just signed up to ask for advice. I grew up a cat lover, I had a cat growing up lived about 17 years, and was an ornery but lovable old man. This past year a friend at work was fostering some kittens for the local humane society and I fell in love with them and chose to adopt one. She is 8 weeks old, a total sweetheart, and currently is curled up with me napping right now. I am only 3 days into having her in my life but I've had this weird anxious pit in my stomach nonstop worried about caring for her, how she acts when I'm not with her if the neighbors will be bothered by her, why won't she stop meowing, etc. I think it started after the first night she wouldn't let me sleep, constantly meowing. Last night I let her free roam and she did better and only woke me up twice. I hate that I'm thinking like this, but I don't know how to make these feelings go away, I've even thought about bringing her back to the humane society

My main questions are:
Why am I having thoughts like this?
How do I get her to quiet down?
Am I fit to be a pet owner?

Hi,

I really appreciate you stopping by and expressing what you are feeling. Being honest about our emotions is the first step in improving things. The fact you are here and asking those questions tells me you really care and are a great person.

So let's take on your questions.

"Why am I having thoughts like this?" - Because you are a normal human being. We awlays want what is best for someone we love. We want perfection in many cases. And we don't want to bother anyone else (we think of others).

"How do I get her to quiet down?" - This is a bit trickier in my eyes. Her meowing, etc is due to a change in territory. Cats are territorial animals and "ownership" of territory is very important to them to feel safe, secure, comfortable and confident. So as she gets good things (like food, and love) and is able to "own" more things by getting her scent on them she should settle down. And at some point when she is ready playing will help a lot. Kittens have endless energy but play helps drain it a bit. Then after play feed the kitten.

"Am I fit to be a pet owner?" - ABSOLUTELY!!! If you are here you care about the kitten and love the kitten. So if you care and love you are fit.

I hope you stop by and express any feelings you are feeling and hopefully we can help you with all the things that go along with adding a cat to the family.

There has already been great advice so I have no doubt you are in great hands.

 

[KittyFriday]

It's totally normal, and after a few weeks you'll get to the point where you won't be able to imagine not having her in your life.

If I ever have issues with new pet anxiety, I remember getting my dog as a puppy. He had a lot of behavioral issues (not normal puppy stuff) and wouldn't bond with anyone but myself, so it was him and me 24/7. I didn't think I'd be able to do it. He's 7 years old now and still has behavioral problems, but we've found our groove and I swear I can't imagine ever letting him go.

 

[mochimoo]

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for all your advice and kind words. I teared up reading them and finding out I'm not the only one who feels like this at first. I know like all emotions, this too shall pass So glad I found this community!

I thought I'd attach a picture of my girl!

 

[rubysmama]

Thanks for posting the pic. She's pawsitively precious.

 

[Cat McCannon]

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE IN THREE EASY STEPS
1) Ditch the doubts
2) Curb stomp depression
3) Get a cat to help with 1) & 2)

You have the cat

 

[calicosrspecial]

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for all your advice and kind words. I teared up reading them and finding out I'm not the only one who feels like this at first. I know like all emotions, this too shall pass So glad I found this community!

I thought I'd attach a picture of my girl!

OH MY GOODNESS!! She is GORGEOUS!!!!!

Thanks for the pic!!!

Awwwwwww. Yes, you are not the only one. We al go through it at times. But when we love we figure it out.

Your kitty is lucky to have you!!! I think all is going to be well and if there is anything we can do please reach out.

Did I say how GORGEOUS she is?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! My goodness, I LOVE her!!!

 

[Jem]

She is absolutely adorable! Just look at her fuzzy fluff..... so precious!