Hi, I am really hoping someone here can help me. So last September I moved in with a semi friend. She got a cat right after we moved in together. Within two weeks it was clear she was HEAVILY abusing substances, to the point that she was hospitalized in under a month because of a blood clot. My little buddy was just a kitten at this point in time. She got sent to sober living after time in the psych ward and I took care of him. She was in sober living for 3 months and during that time I was taking care of the cat. He faced several health problem and she would use "taking him to the vet" as an opportunity to leave sober living and go do drugs. The cat who was only just under 3 months old in September at this point has now spent the majority of his life with me.
Fast forward to the end of January- roommate comes back from sober living- whatever I was wishing her well and I still love this cat just so much. By the end of February she was back on drugs, I was literally dreading coming home and expecting to find her dead. But I knew that the cat at least had me around. She rarely left her room, can barely take care of herself- her room is a literal health hazard to the point her cleaning lady quit (she keeps all of the cat supplies and the cat locked in her room) I could hear him crying to come out of there.
On the rare instances that she would leave her room I would run into the room and make sure to refill his water and food dishes as well as clean them and his little box. Whenever I would text her and say that he seemed hungry (after having lived with him one on one I could tell something was off and different) and she would completely dismiss me and say that he was taken care of and that begging for food was just what animals do. I started feeding him separately as well as checking her ability to care for him. I also must include that this is not the first cycle of severe substance abuse issues to the point of hospitalization and the cops showing up eventually that she has been in during recent years.
The situation escalates and I ended up looking for a place to move although torn about the cat, but am troubleshooting things to do because I am also no longer safe in this environment. Just this past week right before I am supposed to move out, she gets even worse, is caught stealing money from her parents to pay for drugs. She has the cat locked in her room that is so beyond filthy and you can't even see a floor or surface. There is rotting food everywhere, not to mention I was super paranoid that he could get into drugs- I am telling you I really love this cat. This past weekend everything escalated she was caught using and stealing and it got to the point where the sober coach and family made plans to get her into residential treatment, I offer to the sober coach that I would be more that willing to take care of the cat. I mention that I have basically been feeding and caring for him for a month behind her back, that she's leaving crusty wet cat food all over his eating space. Throw in the fact that she can't shower or take her medication or take care of herself or even leave her bed. The sober coach told me that she would advocate for me keeping the cat. The day she was going to be escorted to treatment she bolts and runs away. I am asked again to car for the cat (which I have been doing and the moment she left I took everything of his out of her room and kept it in a clean space).
Keep in mind at this point she has abandoned the cat a second time, and if I hadn't been here either time the cat would be completely abandoned with no one and the fact that when she's around she cant take care of him and the fact is that she can't even take care of herself at all. This has now turned into them asking me to take care of him until she goes through treatment with no guarantee to keep him. I know that he's not mine technically, but he's spent the majority of his life alone with me and she can't take care of him. And now I am moving to a new apartment and they want me to take him but for however many months and then give him back and I am sorry that can't be fair to him, this is a person who clearly doesn't care about his well being and doesnt realize he's a living being and he has emotions and needs and that he can't be treated like an object or a yo yo. and honestly I know this sounds like a lie but whenever she's not around he's more relaxed and he's happier- she's abandoned him multiple times without me knowing she would be gone and thought he would be ok for 3 days without someone feeding him (I fed him anyway).
Please, I love him so much and there has to be a way for me to make sure I can keep him. I don't know if I report her for neglect or abandoning an animal and then tell animal control that he knows me and keep him. But this isn't right to do to him, and also emotionally I don't know if I can take him and have to give him back in 2-3 months and have him bouncing around homes. Please I am begging someone to tell me what to do here, he is under a year old and he's spent the majority of his life with me- and I see how this is a pattern with her and I can see that if she's already done it to him twice in his short life she's going to do it again. Pls someone tell me what I can do.
Fast forward to the end of January- roommate comes back from sober living- whatever I was wishing her well and I still love this cat just so much. By the end of February she was back on drugs, I was literally dreading coming home and expecting to find her dead. But I knew that the cat at least had me around. She rarely left her room, can barely take care of herself- her room is a literal health hazard to the point her cleaning lady quit (she keeps all of the cat supplies and the cat locked in her room) I could hear him crying to come out of there.
On the rare instances that she would leave her room I would run into the room and make sure to refill his water and food dishes as well as clean them and his little box. Whenever I would text her and say that he seemed hungry (after having lived with him one on one I could tell something was off and different) and she would completely dismiss me and say that he was taken care of and that begging for food was just what animals do. I started feeding him separately as well as checking her ability to care for him. I also must include that this is not the first cycle of severe substance abuse issues to the point of hospitalization and the cops showing up eventually that she has been in during recent years.
The situation escalates and I ended up looking for a place to move although torn about the cat, but am troubleshooting things to do because I am also no longer safe in this environment. Just this past week right before I am supposed to move out, she gets even worse, is caught stealing money from her parents to pay for drugs. She has the cat locked in her room that is so beyond filthy and you can't even see a floor or surface. There is rotting food everywhere, not to mention I was super paranoid that he could get into drugs- I am telling you I really love this cat. This past weekend everything escalated she was caught using and stealing and it got to the point where the sober coach and family made plans to get her into residential treatment, I offer to the sober coach that I would be more that willing to take care of the cat. I mention that I have basically been feeding and caring for him for a month behind her back, that she's leaving crusty wet cat food all over his eating space. Throw in the fact that she can't shower or take her medication or take care of herself or even leave her bed. The sober coach told me that she would advocate for me keeping the cat. The day she was going to be escorted to treatment she bolts and runs away. I am asked again to car for the cat (which I have been doing and the moment she left I took everything of his out of her room and kept it in a clean space).
Keep in mind at this point she has abandoned the cat a second time, and if I hadn't been here either time the cat would be completely abandoned with no one and the fact that when she's around she cant take care of him and the fact is that she can't even take care of herself at all. This has now turned into them asking me to take care of him until she goes through treatment with no guarantee to keep him. I know that he's not mine technically, but he's spent the majority of his life alone with me and she can't take care of him. And now I am moving to a new apartment and they want me to take him but for however many months and then give him back and I am sorry that can't be fair to him, this is a person who clearly doesn't care about his well being and doesnt realize he's a living being and he has emotions and needs and that he can't be treated like an object or a yo yo. and honestly I know this sounds like a lie but whenever she's not around he's more relaxed and he's happier- she's abandoned him multiple times without me knowing she would be gone and thought he would be ok for 3 days without someone feeding him (I fed him anyway).
Please, I love him so much and there has to be a way for me to make sure I can keep him. I don't know if I report her for neglect or abandoning an animal and then tell animal control that he knows me and keep him. But this isn't right to do to him, and also emotionally I don't know if I can take him and have to give him back in 2-3 months and have him bouncing around homes. Please I am begging someone to tell me what to do here, he is under a year old and he's spent the majority of his life with me- and I see how this is a pattern with her and I can see that if she's already done it to him twice in his short life she's going to do it again. Pls someone tell me what I can do.
