My cat Linus passed away August 24, 2009. We put him to sleep due to complications with tooth resorption. (Kidneys and heart failing.) Losing him was like losing a limb. I miss him every day. I mean it's not like I spend every day crying uncontrollably, but there are still things that trigger me. I've experienced a lot of grief in my life the last few years, including my step-daughter and my father-in-law and my father to begin with. But Linus's has been the hardest for me in some aspects. How can you not miss someone who loves you unconditionally?
The other day I told my husband I was still having a hard time getting used to Linus not helping me cook - Linus would always be in the kitchen with me when I was cooking in hopes he would get some, and he would talk to me - and my husband said, "Well you need to get over it and it's about time you were used to it. It's been over a year." Yeah, sure, I had Linus with me for almost 9 years, and it should take me a year to get over that? I almost cried.
So what, if Wally left me, only a year would be acceptable mourning period for losing my husband, as well? Linus was a part of my family. My husband is a part of my family. I should think he should know by now that most people can't just shut off grief. And I'm one of those "most" people. I would hope it would take Wally would let it take over a year to "get over me" and just not think about me anymore and for it not to hurt when he missed me if he needed that long to recover. I know it would take me over a year to recover from the loss of him..
LeAnn - my stepdaughter - has been gone for over 5 years now. It is now most of the time that I don't miss her, but I still recognize the loss of her and I still remember her, and there isn't a day that I don't think about her. But there are times it is still painful and that I still miss her. I don't expect to be able to get through my life without it being painful at times to miss loved ones I have lost. Some of my losses are just more manageable than others, and not as fresh. And some losses there are less regrets.
How do I talk to someone that thinks that way???? I love him don't get me wrong, but we honestly are not on the same page obviously when it comes to our emotions...
Rarrr...
The other day I told my husband I was still having a hard time getting used to Linus not helping me cook - Linus would always be in the kitchen with me when I was cooking in hopes he would get some, and he would talk to me - and my husband said, "Well you need to get over it and it's about time you were used to it. It's been over a year." Yeah, sure, I had Linus with me for almost 9 years, and it should take me a year to get over that? I almost cried.
So what, if Wally left me, only a year would be acceptable mourning period for losing my husband, as well? Linus was a part of my family. My husband is a part of my family. I should think he should know by now that most people can't just shut off grief. And I'm one of those "most" people. I would hope it would take Wally would let it take over a year to "get over me" and just not think about me anymore and for it not to hurt when he missed me if he needed that long to recover. I know it would take me over a year to recover from the loss of him..
LeAnn - my stepdaughter - has been gone for over 5 years now. It is now most of the time that I don't miss her, but I still recognize the loss of her and I still remember her, and there isn't a day that I don't think about her. But there are times it is still painful and that I still miss her. I don't expect to be able to get through my life without it being painful at times to miss loved ones I have lost. Some of my losses are just more manageable than others, and not as fresh. And some losses there are less regrets.
How do I talk to someone that thinks that way???? I love him don't get me wrong, but we honestly are not on the same page obviously when it comes to our emotions...
Rarrr...