Playing vs Fighting in Kittens - How do you tell the difference?

[nevermore]

(My background is kinda long so I have made the 'fighting/playing' parts in BOLD

BACKGROUND

Lippy is my 5 month old black kitty who is EXTREMELY bold, playful and attention-seeking. The kind who basically tries to come in the shower with you because he doesn't understand the concept of 'personal time or space'.

I work during the day and so he is home by himself from 8am to about 6pm on weekdays. So when I got home he was on me like a fly on..... well you get the point. Even after rigorous play sessions (God Bless Da Bird; the only toy that actually tires him out) it is never enough and he wanted more. 

So, a very affectionate, playful and active kitty cat. 

Flash forward to last weekend and a new little kitty critter joined the household. Another boy, 3 weeks younger than Lippy. Still un-named. 

Photo 18-02-2015 7 41 52 pm.jpg

• nevermore
• Feb 18, 2015

Photo 13-01-2015 9 20 54 pm.png

• nevermore
• Feb 18, 2015

 

[nevermore]

Okay update.....

Yesterday I feel it was more fighting than playing. 

The little one was constantly being the one chased and would always end up on his back, and hissing at the bigger one who would walk away for a second and then pounce again. 

The little one would also sometimes growl in-between hissing. 

I think I have to go back a few steps in the introduction process. ???

 

[cat nap]

@Nevermore   Your kittens are beautiful!  

 

   I think that you have to just let the kittens play, and establish their own routines. Lippy (black) sounds like he just wants to be top cat for a while, but that may change.

Sometimes it looks like very rough play, but if no fur flying, heavy scratches, or high pitched screams than the kittens are just playing.   If the newbie cries out, then watch to see what Lippy will do, he should eventually stop, or at least de-escalate the game...although this does not happen right away.   If Lippy continues...then you may have to put Lippy in a time-out,  not the newbie.  (but only if the newbie seems fearful and is always wanting to hide from Lippy.)  Sometimes one cat seems to be the chaser, but the roles will also reverse, and if this happens, then you know it is only play.

Hissing and biting are all part of play, as long as no injuries occur.

Could you explain, that part about the "glass" again...since I have heard of using glass for separation while eating, but never actually have known anyone who has tried it?

 

[nevermore]

Thank you @cat nap  

There was some serious progress over the weekend.

 After some very controlled (by myself & partner) play-fighting

 and time together with some small efforts made with praise, they ended the weekend with Lippy lying on his back, with the newbie licking (cleaning) his stomach. 

So from mortal enemies to lovers in the matter of 24 hours. 

Amazing how quickly these guys adapted. 

 

[tabbicat2010]

I have 5 cats in my home so I've done a bit of research over the years about playing vs fighting. Some helpful things I've come across:

The cats should take turn being the aggressor during playtime. So basically if they are tumbling around/wrestling, one cat shouldn't be on top of the other the entire time.. they should take turns and this should go about slow paced rather than fast paced.

Screams/growls/hissing, fur flying, etc - these are bad signs.

Ears back, claws out are bad signs as well.

If any of bad signs occur... distract them with a loud noise and then separate. Sometimes it takes a while to introduce a new cat. It's a much more detailed process than I think most people realize. It's usually easier when dealing with fixed males though, so hopefully it won't be too long for your kitties. Also reward positive interactions and try to separate before any bad interactions can happen.

 

[nevermore]

 
I have 5 cats in my home so I've done a bit of research over the years about playing vs fighting. Some helpful things I've come across:

The cats should take turn being the aggressor during playtime. So basically if they are tumbling around/wrestling, one cat shouldn't be on top of the other the entire time.. they should take turns and this should go about slow paced rather than fast paced.

Screams/growls/hissing, fur flying, etc - these are bad signs.

Ears back, claws out are bad signs as well.

If any of bad signs occur... distract them with a loud noise and then separate. Sometimes it takes a while to introduce a new cat. It's a much more detailed process than I think most people realize. It's usually easier when dealing with fixed males though, so hopefully it won't be too long for your kitties. Also reward positive interactions and try to separate before any bad interactions can happen.

My black cat is the more dominant of the two, he is also quite a bit larger despite being only 3 weeks difference in age, so he tends to be the one on top 90% of the time with the cream guy (still no name... eek... feel like such a bad cat mum!) always ending up on his back. 

At first we were worried about this. And thought that he was essentially being bullied. 

I will have to say that at first it started with all the bad signs, annoyed noises, hissing,ears back, literally fur flying....at these points we intervened with distraction tactics. The noises were ALL coming from the cream guy. I got worried and when the opportunity arose I would swoop him up and remove him from the room. It then dawned on us that our little cream guy is a very very BIG talker. He basically doesn't shut up ever. So why would we expect his play to be any different. 

So when they came back together and began to tumble we wouldn't interfere until the noises became hisses. It felt like we were referees in a wrestling match. The fur flying was black.... so we knew who had their claws out. 

While I understand that they essentially needed to 'work it out', we were careful to not let things get too rough as we didn't want either cat to feel stressed out. 

Upon closer inspection.... it was the little guy who was starting 95% of the fights. He was instigating mostly all of them. What we realised is that since he was surrounded by other cats for 4 months and Lippy was taken away at 8 weeks, his idea of play was very different to the others. He didn't understand how to play fight properly. (which is why I have decided that 8 weeks is way too early for kittens to be adopted out. But hey, sometimes there are no choices in that.)

Eventually, the hissing and growls got less and less and the fights are now silent. There are no claws, no fur flying about, and now the little guy just toddles around behind Lippy like a bad smell 

Must say, that the little one still always ends up on his back though. In fact when he pounces on Lippy (still the instigator 95% of the time), he will often automatically fall onto his back and wait for Lippy to come over and start playing. But as for body language, he doesn't seem scared, happy tails, ears forward. I still carefully watch their play-fight sessions at this initial stage as I want to be sure that all is peaceful.

I won't lie, it was a rather stressful week and It was important to go at their pace. 

 

[nevermore]

And just because.... 

Lots of butt sniffing. 

Photo 22-02-2015 9 20 00 am.jpg

• nevermore
• Feb 23, 2015

And the little one licking the bigger ones belly while he was on his back sleeping peacefully.

Photo 23-02-2015 12 45 43 am.jpg

• nevermore
• Feb 23, 2015

 

[tabbicat2010]

Aw.. great pics! Glad to see things are improving and it definitely sounds like you are doing everything right! I'm sure they will be good friends before too long. I've always found it easier to introduce males.