Playful Kitten and Reserved Older Cat

[Gil in Running Springs]

Five months ago my wife and I adopted a beautiful male kitten from a shelter. Gabe is now 10 months old. He joined our 5.5 year old black Norwegian Forest mix cat, Maggie. Maggie is shy. When Gabe first arrived Maggie responded with hissing and growling when he approached, a few times with pouncing on and swatting him. We’ve worked patiently to introduce them, with some progress. They have eaten treats together, they’ve even playfully boxed while lying side by side. All is fine when both are distracted. But Gabe is a high energy kitten, searching her out and often seeking aggressive play... rushing at Maggie, wrestling and chasing her. At such moments Maggie reverts to swatting, even biting him.

I should add that Maggie was sometimes bullied and abused by two litter mates in her youth. It began with aggressive play.

Any suggestions? We love them both. Thanks.

 

[ArtNJ]

"Get away" swatting and pinning a pain in the butt youngster is fine. The biting is probably fine too if there is no sign of real fighting, no clumps of fur pulled out and no injuries. Its her way of communicating that she wants space; eventually as he gets older, he will start to listen.

In theory, you could try a reintroduction process, and its probably a good idea if they are actually truly fighting . . . but an introduction process is mostly to address "stranger danger," not "I don't like being jumped on and want my space" So I don't know that it would do anything. A lot of times all you can do is wait for the passage of time to gradually improve things.

One thing you can do around the edges is give the older cat a break now and then, some pets with a closed door. Just don't overdo that, as it may make the youngster even more over-eager when they are back together.

 

[Gil in Running Springs]

I should have mentioned that we consulted a local veterinarian who prescribed Maggie oral Gabapentin to reduce her anxiety. It did calm her a little, but it’s not a realistic long term solution. There’s been no hair pulled out, no obvious injuries. But one of Gabe’s ears seemed a little inflamed for a day or so following the most recent dust up.

My wife lost her 20 year old cat to complications of an attack by another cat. We want to avoid unnecessarily risking Gabe’s safety. We’ve kept Gabe and Maggie apart the past couple of days while seeking advice. I guess that just waiting for the passage of time is indeed one solution. Hoping and praying that nothing serious happens in the meantime. We’re even considering surrendering dear Maggie to a no-kill adoption center, something that we hate to do.

 

[susanm9006]

I do understand your concern that neither cat gets injured, but Maggie is trying to teach Gabe some manners and to respect her boundaries. The best thing for their relationship is for you to allow her to do this without your intervention. And in the unlikely event that their relationship becomes so poor that you don’t feel they live together, I think that it should be Gabe that is rehomed and not Maggie. Adult cats and nervous cats have an extraordinarily difficult time adjusting to the experience of leaving their home and may spend years in a shelter while young cats are more easily adopted and are more adaptable as well.

 

[jen]

Rehome Magge??!! Gabe should be the one rehomed, not Maggie. That would not be fair at all. Maggie was your first baby. If the old cat doesn't like the new, the new one goes first.

Otherwise, I don't really see any issues here. This is normal cat interaction from one shy cat towards a kitten. The fact that they eat together and are fine at times proves there is no real issue. They just need time to work out their differences and establish dominance. They do this by growling, hissing, swatting, chasing, pouncing, etc, etc. Just let them be. They are probably picking up on your own stress and it isn't making anything better for them.

 

[stephanietx]

I have been there and it's hard. What worked for us was playing with the younger kitty as much as possible so she would leave the older kitty alone. Also, when the youngster tried to start playing with the resident kitty, we would redirect using a towel to "herd" her away. Be sure you give your resident kitty a lot of positive interaction and extra love. Also try calming agents such as Feliway or Comfort Zone diffusers and some of the products from Jackson Galaxy's Spirit Essences line.

 

[ArtNJ]

I'm normally with jen and susanm9006 , but if you have "biting" and an actual injury (of sorts), I'd like to know more about what is actually going on. From discussing these things in the past, I think the key thing for the three of us (as well as most posters here) is "are they fighting". If they aren't fighting, its best to let them work it out. If they are actually fighting, then yes, there may be an unacceptable risk of injury, and it may be best to back up and try a reintroduction. Here, I'm honestly not sure if the vet prescribed an unnecessary med, or if there is in fact a serious situation going on.

Can you describe the interactions more for us, including postures and sounds, and even better, consider posting a video?

P.S. In the distant past, I've had a cat bite another cat requiring surgery, so I'm not taking your concerns lightly. Just saying we don't yet have enough details from you to conclude that there is a problem of this level going on, so we are wondering if medication and isolation is really best. Because if cats aren't actually fighting, usually they can work things out on their own with time -- and that is the best way to proceed, if they can. So its an inflection point -- are they fighting or not?

 

[Gil in Running Springs]

The two cats (by now nearly equal in size and weight) can coexist quietly in the same room all day so long as Gabe doesn’t infringe upon Maggie’s space. Maggie spends most of her days and nights in my large bedroom, plays alone with her toys. Gabe has run of the house but clearly craves cat companionship. Left to his own devices, he will spend most of the day in the same room with her.

Maggie will still growl occasionally if she sees him approaching closely. She typically doesn’t move or change posture. Gabe never makes a sound. This past weekend Maggie seemed calm while Gabe lay a foot or two away, even touching paws for a few moments. But then Gabe leaped forward to wrestle her. Maggie responded by swatting him, then pouncing and biting as he retreated. Gabe nursed his sore ear in another room for a few minutes, then returned to outside Maggie’s closed door for more.

Last month we tried adopting another kitten, a male about the same age and size, to give Gabe a more suitable playmate. Ended badly. Matthew had little interest in playing, spent hours behind a bedroom dresser. A round of play wrestling ended with Gabe immobilized on his back with the other cat on top biting at his throat. We returned Matthew.

 

[ArtNJ]

It really sounds like a "get the hell away from me" pounce and "get the message" kind of bite, not a true attack and not true fighting. I don't think this cat needs to be medicated -- they can work this sort of thing out on their own.

As I mentioned, I do understand the fear based on your past experiences, but that was a very rare situation. In almost all instances, when cats are not actually fighting, things do improve over time when they are given time together to work through their issues.

If you get screaming and rolling around fighting, then obviously the situation becomes different. For the most part, it is when full on cat fights are ignored or dealt with mostly by hopeful thinking that actual injuries can occur.

 

[Gil in Running Springs]

Thanks. One concern has been that Maggie spends most of her time is my bedroom. Gabe often follows her under the bed, where it’s almost impossible to see what’s happening or to intervene if needed.

 

[jen]

The two cats (by now nearly equal in size and weight) can coexist quietly in the same room all day so long as Gabe doesn’t infringe upon Maggie’s space. Maggie spends most of her days and nights in my large bedroom, plays alone with her toys. Gabe has run of the house but clearly craves cat companionship. Left to his own devices, he will spend most of the day in the same room with her.

Maggie will still growl occasionally if she sees him approaching closely. She typically doesn’t move or change posture. Gabe never makes a sound. This past weekend Maggie seemed calm while Gabe lay a foot or two away, even touching paws for a few moments. But then Gabe leaped forward to wrestle her. Maggie responded by swatting him, then pouncing and biting as he retreated. Gabe nursed his sore ear in another room for a few minutes, then returned to outside Maggie’s closed door for more.

This whole interaction.... =they are fine
I think every one of my cats have done this. Sometimes they just have a day or a moment where they are like "just leave me alone" or "get the hell away from me" like kids who bicker. Sometimes kids hit, sometimes kitties swat and bite. They are night fighting their mortal enemy here they are just annoyed and want to be left alone.

 

[susanm9006]

Thanks. One concern has been that Maggie spends most of her time is my bedroom. Gabe often follows her under the bed, where it’s almost impossible to see what’s happening or to intervene if needed.

If Gabe is following her under the bed he is eventually going to get a claws out paw to the nose that he deserves. There is no need for you to intervene and doing so may slow down their progress in establishing a relationship. So unless it sounds like a true cat best to just let them be

 

[Gil in Running Springs]

It’s not just an occasional bad day, it’s every time that Gabe seeks close contact with Maggie.

Might the conflict between Maggie and Gabe have any bad influence upon Gabe’s behavior? When Gabe first arrived, he was very submissive, not at all aggressive towards Maggie. Now my wife finds that he’s more aggressive even in playing with her. Or is it just that he’s just grown up quickly in these past five months?

 

[susanm9006]

It’s just that he is now comfortable in your home and he is also a typical bratty teenage cat. He may have gotten over confident since adult cats will usually hold back and not really hurt a kitten. But as he gets older it is more likely Maggie will stand up for herself and put him in his place. Usually this doesn’t involve actual injuries but just enough to help him behave better with her. So it may seem for a while that their relationship is getting worse when it is actually going through the normal stage for a younger and an older cat.