Play Or Aggression?

[OliviaC]

Hi Everyone!

I’m hoping someone can help us here as my husband and I are new to the cat world! We have a very sweet orange tabby male who is about to be one year old. He is home alone all day so we thought it would be best to get him a playmate while he is still young. We just adopted a buff tabby female. She’s been home for just over a week now. We’ve tried to follow all of the directions that we’ve read online for introducing them, and aside from some hissing and batting from the male cat things were moving along nicely. She was very confident in her new surroundings right away, but out male cat is still leery. It’s gotten to a point now that whenever we allow the cats to be around each other he runs right for her. He usually starts by sniffing her behind and then pins her down with licks or nibbles that then progress into biting - no hissing from him. Eventually her ears go back and she starts hissing. My husband and I step in to break it up because we don’t know how far it is safe to let them go. He is about 12 pounds and she is 3. As soon as we separate them she runs right back to him for more or he chases right after her for more. Is this play? Any suggestions on what we can do to help them get along as quickly as possible?

Thanks so much!

Sincerely,
Olivia

 

[ArtNJ]

Yes, sounds fine. Its normal for the kitten to have had enough and hiss/run at some point. The kitten coming right back tells you all is well. You can let them be.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. And congrats on the new kitten!

Yes, the behaviour you described sounds like play. The things to watch for are fur flying, blood, and one cat appearing scared or stressed. The fact that the kitten runs back for more "fun", means it "is" fun.

Since the question comes up a lot, TCS has an article called Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing? | TheCatSite that explains the body language to watch for to determine if cats are playing or fighting. There are pictures and videos as well. In your case, I'm pretty sure you'll come to the conclusion your cats are playing.

I don't think you need it, but we also have a How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat | TheCatSite article if you want to check it out.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

From what you are describing, things are going along just fine. Your boy is simply telling this new girl who is who and what is what. She's getting the message, and isn't the least upset about it, except in the very moment. She's learning her manners, but is showing no fear of her teacher!

 

[OliviaC]

Thanks for your responses!

We are now 2 weeks in and are still experiencing the same behavior. If anything, the older male cat is now even rougher as he is more comfortable around her. He won’t go 2 minutes around her without pinning and biting.

We know it will take time, but want to make sure we are handling it properly in the meantime. Should we be quick to break up the fights or let them fight it out? Should we give them less visitation until she’s bigger and can defend herself?

We have been doing mealtime together and they do eat nicely right next to one another. Sometimes she even goes for his bowl and he doesn’t get aggressive.

We are hopeful they will be the best of friends soon and want to make sure we are doing correctly to give them everything they need.

Thank you all for your help!

 

[rubysmama]

We know it will take time, but want to make sure we are handling it properly in the meantime. Should we be quick to break up the fights or let them fight it out? Should we give them less visitation until she’s bigger and can defend herself?

You mentioned upthread she keeps going back for more "fun" so it sounds as though she's holding her own. Does she seem like she's scared? Does she ever run and hide? How old is she?

We have been doing mealtime together and they do eat nicely right next to one another. Sometimes she even goes for his bowl and he doesn’t get aggressive.

That sounds like a good thing.

 

[OliviaC]

You mentioned upthread she keeps going back for more "fun" so it sounds as though she's holding her own. Does she seem like she's scared? Does she ever run and hide? How old is she?



That sounds like a good thing.

She’s 14 weeks old now and just weighed in at 4 pounds yesterday. Lately when he has her pinned her ears will go back and she will yelp and occasionally hiss. This is usually when we step in. Sometimes she will go right back to him or run away, but never really hides. I usually pick her up and she purrs immediately and squirms to get down to play again.

Thanks again!

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't think you can call those fights then. This is more like older brother playing with little brother and not being able to go too long without adding in an indian sunburn or a head nuggy. Little brother predictably calls for mom, but then wants to play more in two minutes.

Just let them be. You can't really teach the older one not to be a jerk about it, most of them are like that. The kitten isn't getting hurt, and is getting a net benefit from having an older cat around even if its a little too much at times.

 

[rubysmama]

Sometimes cat "play" can look more like a fight. And when one is so much bigger, they can seem badly out-matched. But as long as no fur is flying, there's no blood, and she keeps going back to "play" again, it sounds like things are fine.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I pretty much agree with both A ArtNJ and rubysmama on this one. They aren't fighting. His intent is not to harm. You're just going to have to be vigilant until their sizes equal out a bit. LOL, one of these days, she's gonna be a big girl, and put on her big girl panties, and swat him one. I'd love to see his face when she does! But even that isn't "fighting." Just telling him that enough is enough, already!