My boyfriend of 6 years and I are planning to be married and we want to buy a house next year. We have looked at EVERY development in the state of Delaware (where we live) and at some in Pennsylvania and Maryland. Of all the places we have looked, we like one development in particular, and our favorite house is also in that development.
Sounds great, right? Well, here is where the problem comes in. I work with a girl (who USED to be my best friend I might add), whom, although was supposed to be my best friend, and was married, pursued my boyfriend and they ended up having an affair.
He and I have worked out the issue and we are perfectly happy now (we did have alot of problems back then). Needless to say, she is no longer a friend of mine but I do have to deal with her on a professional level as we work together (yick!)
I just heard from someone at work that she and her husband just signed a contract to build a house at the very same development we would like to build our house. They only have so many lots available right now and most of them are within view of her house.
I told my boyfriend this and at first his reaction was, "There is no way I will live anywhere near them". Which was my initial reaction as well. So we revisited several of the places we had looked at houses in the past, hoping to see something that we liked better, or at least as well, as the "favorite" place. Of course, we didn't.
My issue with this is probably fairly clear. I don't want to be anywhere near her, but I also don't feel like we should give up something we love because she is going to be living in the same development. When I say she was my friend, I mean she was my absolute BEST friend for 8 years (or so I thought). The 4 of us did EVERYTHING together. We watched races together every weekend (we are all HUGE NASCAR fans), played cards together every Saturday night, bowled together every Wednesday and lived 2 blocks apart. She and I went shopping or to craft shows every weekend and worked together. Sickening huh?
Anyhoo, I have been struggling with this for weeks now. I have talked to my Mom and a close friend about it and they have mixed feelings about the subject. My boyfriend is now saying we should go where we want to go and to ignore the fact that they are there. Well, I guess my problem is that I feel like the old feelings of insecurity will come back if she is living that close to us and I will go back to not trusting him again...wondering if every time he leaves the house he is headed that way and things like that.
I had those feelings for a long time. But, it has also been a long time now that I have NOT had those feelings and I don't want to go back there. It's a terrible way to live. He has assured and reassured me that I don't have to worry about anything like that...but...
I guess I am just wondering what you would do in this siutation. We both love the house we picked there and everything else truly seems like we would be settling for less than what we want, and where we want it.
Thanks for listening.
Sounds great, right? Well, here is where the problem comes in. I work with a girl (who USED to be my best friend I might add), whom, although was supposed to be my best friend, and was married, pursued my boyfriend and they ended up having an affair.
He and I have worked out the issue and we are perfectly happy now (we did have alot of problems back then). Needless to say, she is no longer a friend of mine but I do have to deal with her on a professional level as we work together (yick!)
I just heard from someone at work that she and her husband just signed a contract to build a house at the very same development we would like to build our house. They only have so many lots available right now and most of them are within view of her house.
I told my boyfriend this and at first his reaction was, "There is no way I will live anywhere near them". Which was my initial reaction as well. So we revisited several of the places we had looked at houses in the past, hoping to see something that we liked better, or at least as well, as the "favorite" place. Of course, we didn't.
My issue with this is probably fairly clear. I don't want to be anywhere near her, but I also don't feel like we should give up something we love because she is going to be living in the same development. When I say she was my friend, I mean she was my absolute BEST friend for 8 years (or so I thought). The 4 of us did EVERYTHING together. We watched races together every weekend (we are all HUGE NASCAR fans), played cards together every Saturday night, bowled together every Wednesday and lived 2 blocks apart. She and I went shopping or to craft shows every weekend and worked together. Sickening huh?
Anyhoo, I have been struggling with this for weeks now. I have talked to my Mom and a close friend about it and they have mixed feelings about the subject. My boyfriend is now saying we should go where we want to go and to ignore the fact that they are there. Well, I guess my problem is that I feel like the old feelings of insecurity will come back if she is living that close to us and I will go back to not trusting him again...wondering if every time he leaves the house he is headed that way and things like that.
I had those feelings for a long time. But, it has also been a long time now that I have NOT had those feelings and I don't want to go back there. It's a terrible way to live. He has assured and reassured me that I don't have to worry about anything like that...but...
I guess I am just wondering what you would do in this siutation. We both love the house we picked there and everything else truly seems like we would be settling for less than what we want, and where we want it.
Thanks for listening.