Pawley - and all of us - could use your vibes

[ldg]

KNOCK WOOD!


But really, he mostly bothers Shel and Tux in the box (at this point). I hadn't seen him bother Billy for a while - but Billy keeps trying to make him a friend. Chumley has always been nervous about getting to the box, so always finds a time and a way to get there without anyone noticing. Pawley tried attacking Lazlo in the box a few times, but Lazlo put him down, and he "gave."

Spooky may be our "pariah" kitty, but she's so vocal, Pawley avoids her now. Well - did, when he was out.

Ming Loy is scared of him, and avoids him. I think she only uses the box in the bedroom now.

Flowerbelle? I can't imagine why any kitty, ever, would bother Flowerbelle. She never bothers anyone, never goes out of her way to be nice - or be mean - to any new kitties. She just keeps to her routine, and if they approach her, she lets them, trusting, and will sniff back. This is the first time we've ever had a a cat that did anything aggressive for no apparent reason. Obviously it's either just his personality or his past, or some combination. :dk:

 

[sweetthangtx]

I'm sorry to hear about Pawley's latest antics. I have a couple of colony cats that seem to have similar issues with other cats.

Romeo showed up at our place a while back as an intact tom. He was not afraid of people but had zero cat manners. He was so tame that I actually picked him up and put him into the trap to take him to be neutered. After he was neutered and recovered he was hot to get out of the house. He left and came back a few weeks later. He was pretty chewed up and one eye was clouded up.

He did not know how to be social with the other cats. They would offer a head bump and he would put his mouth around their neck. He has gotten a bit better but he still has some very bad habits. He hangs out in our cat accessible laundry room and guards the cat door. The other cats are afraid to come in when he is there. I have also seen him chase other cats into the bushes. God only knows what happens but the noise the other Csts make is horrible.

I try to give him a lot of attention in hopes that he will calm down. At first I thought that his attitude was due to hormones. But I think by now the tom cat feeling should be gone. I get the feeling that he has been a loner and a survivor for so long that he just doesn't trust that there will be enough for him if he shares anything.

We have another colony cat that is very possessive of the laundry room as well. She was a stray too. We didn't trap her either. We just picked her up and put her in the trap. Molly spent twice as long in the spare bath as any of the other girls have done. After four days I couldn't get her to go out. I finally picked her up , bed and all, and put her outside. I would have tried to home her but she lit into me and bit my leg pretty badly the first time I tried to get her to go outside.
I didn't feel that I could vouch for her. She doesn't interact with the other cats except to hiss at them.

I think she is a lot like Romeo in her attitude. I think those two cats have some of the same issues that probably stem from being abandoned at some point.

Pawley may be still learning that he doesn't have to defend a territory or food in order to survive. I hope he starts feeling more relaxed soon. I know you can love him through any tough times.

 

[goholistic]

Flowerbelle?

I can't imagine why any kitty, ever, would bother Flowerbelle. She never bothers anyone, never goes out of her way to be nice - or be mean - to any new kitties. She just keeps to her routine, and if they approach her, she lets them, trusting, and will sniff back. This is the first time we've ever had a a cat that did anything aggressive for no apparent reason. Obviously it's either just his personality or his past, or some combination.

I bet she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.  Poor girl. 

 

[shadowsrescue]

Pawley sounds a bit like my Marvin.  Marvin was a stray/feral who I brought inside the house last spring.  He was territorial outside with my ferals and causing problems there.  His only choice of life was for me to bring him inside.  I had done TNR on him a few months earlier.  Once inside he had his own room and I did introductions with my resident kitty, Jake very very slowly.  Yet once the boys got face to face they did very well.  All was well for a few weeks and then the hissing, growling starting followed by chasing and all out fur flying.  The litter box was a huge problem.  I had 4 in the house, but Marvin always seemed to be guarding one of them and preventing Jake from going or attacking him in the box.  I had to do complete separation with them and start introductions over again.  I often used a dog crate to put one of them in and then allow the other to safely sniff.  I would offer yummy rewards while they interacted appropriately.  I also did a bit of play time while one was in the cage.  I started flower essences for both and also added liquid Composure max to their wet food 2x a day.  This helped to calm both cats.  It worked very well as did some of the flower essences.  I used some from Spirit Essences as well as Green Hope Farm as well as mixing some of my own Bach flower remedies. 

We are closing in on one year and things are much improved.  The boys will most likely never ever be friends, but they do tolerate each other and coexist.  Marvin still likes to chase Jake, but the end result is not an attack.  Marvin was just so unsocialized and had so much to learn.  He continues every few weeks to develop and shed his layers of fear. 

Hopefully Pawley will learn to live without his cage soon!!

 

[ldg]

Thank you, everyone, for your replies and sharing your experiences. :heart2:

ShadowsRescue, that is EXACTLY what we have done / are doing. I've asked our animal communicator for specific recommendations for flower essences or spirit essences (or both).

And yes, a big problem is Pawley's fear - and lack of cat social skills. Or cat communication skills? Awareness? I've never seen a cat so .... communication dense. We've had aggressive ferals, but they were just aggressive. I think Pawley really has a lack of cat interaction. I just have no other explanation for the way he reacts to Billy. Fine - like Lazlo, you don't have to like Billy. But to not understand that he's no threat? Tail up? When you act aggressive, he just lies down in a completely submissive way? The only reason Laz ever bops him is because Billy's shoving his face into his chest, and Lazlo doesn't want to groom him - for the eight-hundred-millionth time. :lol3:

But the only time Pawley's tail goes up is when I am at the point of putting his food down for him. Up to that point, even though he is purring like a madman, he wags his tail. I've never seen a cat wag their tail the way Pawley does. He gets so excited, sometimes his whole back end is wagging. :lol3: And this is COMPLETELY different than the swishing-about-to-attack kind of tail wag. It's exactly the way a dog wags its tail. Or that's how it looks to me. He's all happy and excited, and ... wags his tail! He doesn't do it when playing. When he was out, he'd definitely do it when he was nervous or unsure. But he also does it when he's excited or wants something (like pets, food, treats). It is so terribly cute - but I think we have a basic issue with "wrong" cat signals - both from him, and in his lack of understanding them by others. :dk:


I've been giving Pawley the Vetri-Science Composure for about two months, and I started Shel on it the night of the fight. In fact, just before Shel went to go to the box, I'd given them treats together, and they were an inch away from each others' faces, purring and happily munching on treats.

I think we just needed to back up, give everyone safe space, and when we start over, we need to go much more slowly. We thought that we could move forward more quickly than we should have (with 20/20 hindsight ) because Pawley had met everyone, no one expressed any aggression, fear, or ... anything.... when the cat bed was next to the cage.

:heart2:

 

[roguethecat]

he looks like a clone of my Grisou

09-03-13 004.jpg

• roguethecat
• May 12, 2014

9.JPG

• roguethecat
• May 12, 2014

have you tried the pheromone collar?

anyway, 

 

[ldg]

Pawley does look like a clone of your Grisou!

No, no calming collar. I don't like the plastic ones with Feliway - they're all powdery and just freak me out. I ordered a calming collar a while back from https://www.calmingcollars.com/ . These apparently work very well for most kitties - but the smell triggers pain seizures in my husband (who has an uncommon/rare medical condition).

*********************************************************

Ellen chatted with Pawley and Sheldon today. They had a conversation through her. :lol3: Pawley does NOT understand kitty language very well, and they did have it out because Shel is always staring him down (when he's in his cage) or stalking him (when he was out). This I did know (that Shel is obsessed with Pawley). If anyone wants details, I'm happy to share. None of it is overly actionable, just ... insight, really. Fascinating, if true. I asked Ellen to find out if this is Pawley's first incarnation as a cat. Yes, as a domestic cat. He was a cat once before, a jungle cat. She didn't know how to express it in words very well, other than she got the "sensation" of him being "King" of the jungle, where to survive you had to compete, fight, and stake out your territory. So he doesn't have the .... "energy" memory (or whatever it's called), there's only what he's learned this life about being a domestic cat, which apparently isn't as much as one would hope.

So... long and short of it, Shel apologized to Pawley. Shel feels it is his fault Pawley attacked him, but he wants Pawley to understand that no one has their own territory here and he has to learn how to share. :lol3: They have their own space, but we're a family (awwwwww!). Shel does feel threatened, and Pawley's reaction to all of this was that he "gets" this but it's all so new to him. He's so used to being in survival mode, he just needs more time. (Ya think? ). Shel told Pawley he gets THAT - but that almost ALL the kitties here have some kind of trauma in their past and Pawley needs to be more respectful of that and show more gratitude. :lol3: Pawley isn't the only "broken" kitty here. The bottom line? Either Ellen is a good cat behaviorist, and the "conversation" works because it results in all the steps that should be taken (slow introductions, positive reinforcement, etc), or she's a good communicator, and the cats are telling us what we already basically know with extra... flair.

But she did do "her thing" as re: the flower essences. And because single essences aren't what were indicated by Shel and Pawley, she's formulating one specifically for them.

I will add that interestingly, for the first time since Pawley's been here, Shel spent the afternoon lounging in a spot where he cannot see Pawley. He has always been either on the bed up on the couch that is directly across from Pawley or the one spot on the front dash across from Pawley's cage. Ellen chatted with them this morning.

I'm going to follow Shelly's lead on when to start slowly "reintroducing" Pawley.

:rub:

 

[rachelinaz]

Such a great story! I hope it continues to get better.

 

[shadowsrescue]

I often don't know what I would do without the help the animal communicator I use has given me when dealing with some of my cats.  There is always an immediate improvement after we have a session.  I love using flower essences.  The latest batch she suggested worked wonders on Marvin after about 2 weeks.  He is very very OCD about certain spaces in the house and becomes very fixated.  The flower essences worked so well that I haven't even seen him sitting in these spots for weeks.  I have almost finished the bottle and contemplate whether to mix up a new batch or not.   Years ago I took an online correspondence class on Bach flowers so I purchased all of the essences.  I also really like Green Hope Farms.  They are a bit different than your typical online company, but the essences are top notch.  I have used many on my family.

I hope the essences work for Pawley and Shel.  I find them so powerful and helpful.

 

[feralvr]

Oh Laurie - I have such chills right now after hearing about the communication between Pawley and Sheldon via Ellen. I can't say enough about Ellen and her magical gift. :heart3: Both boys were very willing to openly communicate their feelings and concerns with Ellen. Poor Pawley - such a new way of life for him and he just has no clue as to HOW to integrate in a family or interact peacefully with other kitties. He has no experience in this life with that. Shelly wants him to stop being so unsure, giving off mixed signals (a language foreign to him) and territorial because there is no need in this home/family. Everyone has something to deal with and Shel wants Pawley to know that he is just like them. Time and more time is all that is needed and the talk with Ellen makes things SO much clearer for everyone and now there is a better understanding between them. Pretty astonishing that Shelly has taken a bit of a back seat to feeling the need to watch, hover and stare at Pawley, even in his cage. Surely a sign of relief from Sheldon after his talk with Ellen. How very beautiful and miraculous. :heart3::9: I am sure the special flower essences from Ellen can't arrive soon enough.

Poor little Flowerbelle, I know, how could darling, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly get whacked too and by who?? It could have been that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hopefully, the King of the Jungle, will soon step down from his throne and begin to enjoy his life realizing that he does not need to be in survival mode anymore. Interesting about the tail wagging - I think fitting for a jungle cat and there is some meaning behind it. I think you hit the nail on the head with the signals of that being translated completely wrong by the other kitties, especially Sheldon. Over time, I think these "odd" (and cute ) behaviors that Pawley is exhibiting will be readily accepted as, well, just Pawley and nothing to be threatened by. What a journey you have embarked on, sweetie!!!!! :heart3: :rub: I am certain that things can only begin to improve from here and taking a step back and starting over will reassure everyone that YOU are the king of the jungle and will keep everyone safe. :lovegrin: Sheldon will let you know when it is time to move on to the next stage once again. Someday, you will have your chair back in the living room and that crate will be gone but thinking it still may be awhile.

p.s. I have to say, I am quite relieved to hear that your hand healed up so well. I was there for a day or two.

 

[ldg]

I often don't know what I would do without the help the animal communicator I use has given me when dealing with some of my cats.  There is always an immediate improvement after we have a session. 

Ellen has given us so much insight over the years, and it really does help in working with them. :heart2: And as you say, every time she chats with them, there is an immediate impact. It's - to my still skeptical mind - truly remarkable. (Not that I doubt Ellen's gift for a moment, she's proven too many times based on what goes on with the cats and feral cats here that her ability is quite real). This morning? Sheldon is up in the cabinet. Can't see OR HEAR Pawley!

I love using flower essences.  The latest batch she suggested worked wonders on Marvin after about 2 weeks. ...
I hope the essences work for Pawley and Shel.  I find them so powerful and helpful.

I've really only tried Rescue Remedy in the past. I just know very little about them, and the RR didn't seem to help much. I'm looking forward to having the customized essences.

Oh Laurie - I have such chills right now after hearing about the communication between Pawley and Sheldon via Ellen. I can't say enough about Ellen and her magical gift. :heart3: Both boys were very willing to openly communicate their feelings and concerns with Ellen.

They SO were. :lol3: Sheldon had a lot to say, and kept telling her to say this and that to Pawley and then come back to him.

Poor Pawley - such a new way of life for him and he just has no clue as to HOW to integrate in a family or interact peacefully with other kitties. .... Time and more time is all that is needed and the talk with Ellen makes things SO much clearer for everyone and now there is a better understanding between them.

:heart2: I was wondering before their chat if Pawley would ever be able to ... "calm down" with the territorial thing. Now I'm confident he will. It may be a long hoe, but he wants to get there, and that's what matters. :rub:

Pretty astonishing that Shelly has taken a bit of a back seat to feeling the need to watch, hover and stare at Pawley, even in his cage. Surely a sign of relief from Sheldon after his talk with Ellen. How very beautiful and miraculous. :heart3::9: I am sure the special flower essences from Ellen can't arrive soon enough.

As ShadowsRescue said, the change is always palpable and immediate after Ellen talks to the cats. :heart2: I'm SURE Sheldon feels SO much better! And the essences, she put them in the mail yesterday.

 

[sweetthangtx]

I have had a lot if success with a communicator as well

I just want to share something on the lighter side. It turned a bit cold here tonight so a lot of my colony cats are in the cat hall ( aka laundry room ). I went out to love on them. I was giving my boy Pounce an all over rub in his bed and when he squirmed I spotted a folded up bit of paper under him. I picked it up and discovered that it was a ten dollar bill!

I took it Into the house and showed my husband and he said " That's great! It's about time those cats started paying their own way!"

Lol. If only!

 

[ldg]

I love it!

 

[rachelinaz]

I love reading these stories . Is it bad to say... sometimes I am bummed when I am laught up?

 

[feralvr]

I just want to share something on the lighter side. It turned a bit cold here tonight so a lot of my colony cats are in the cat hall ( aka laundry room ). I went out to love on them. I was giving my boy Pounce an all over rub in his bed and when he squirmed I spotted a folded up bit of paper under him. I picked it up and discovered that it was a ten dollar bill!

I took it Into the house and showed my husband and he said " That's great! It's about time those cats started paying their own way!"

Lol. If only!

OH that is hilarious just so funny. Seems you have a little "bank robber" on your hands. :lol3: Thanks for the laugh !!!

 

[betsygee]

Pawley does look like a clone of your Grisou!

No, no calming collar. I don't like the plastic ones with Feliway - they're all powdery and just freak me out. I ordered a calming collar a while back from https://www.calmingcollars.com/ . These apparently work very well for most kitties - but the smell triggers pain seizures in my husband (who has an uncommon/rare medical condition).

*********************************************************
 

Oh, that's too bad your husband can't tolerate the scent.  I had one of those collars for Jake, our kitty with aggression issues.  It really helped him--but then I discovered he was getting it wet in his water bowl!  So the poor guy was going around with this wet thing hanging off his neck.  I kept drying it out and trying it again, and honestly I don't know how he managed to get it so wet but I finally had to take it off him.  I don't like the Feliway ones, either, that white powdery stuff is a mess.  

 

[sweetthangtx]

Hi folks. Well my bubble has been burst. When I found the ten dollar bill in a cat bed in the laundry room I thought that the cats were finally chipping in towards their keep.

It was even suggested that we may have a " cat" burgler who is sharing his ill gotten gains.

When I ( finally) took the clothes out of the dryer today I found 3 one dollar bills in the machine. I found another single in a pants pocket. It looks like the ten probably fell out of the dryer and into one of the cat beds. But, anyway you slice it this is " found " money. I'm sure the furry faced kids will benefit from it in some way.

 

[lrosewiles]

Poor Pawley, I hope he can get settled.  It is interesting that Ellen the cat communicator helps, maybe I should try that with Ellie, although she does seem to be communicating better these days. 

LDG also so glad your hand healed, I once had a very bad experience with a cat bite that gave me blood poisoning!

I have had a lot if success with a communicator as well

I just want to share something on the lighter side. It turned a bit cold here tonight so a lot of my colony cats are in the cat hall ( aka laundry room ). I went out to love on them. I was giving my boy Pounce an all over rub in his bed and when he squirmed I spotted a folded up bit of paper under him. I picked it up and discovered that it was a ten dollar bill!

I took it Into the house and showed my husband and he said " That's great! It's about time those cats started paying their own way!"

Lol. If only!

And I have to respond to this with a big belly laugh.  We are in the midst of a kitchen remodel and our cats, Mr. Patches in particular, like to "help".  My DH calls Mr. Patches "the supervisor" and keeps a tally of his wages at exorbitant union rates like $50 an hour plus benefits .. and when he sleeps on the job it's "lunch time" or "coffee break" or "paid vacation time"!!!  I suggested his wages be offset against his room and board and that of his mother and sisters and adopted sister!!  A particularly great moment was when Mr P jumped on my back while I was grouting floor tile.  "Supervising my work" I was told.

Oh cats, a constant source of worry but such joy these moments bring us.  (well ok, there was the incident of thin set daubed paws leaving prints all over the hardwood floor, and a frantic scramble to wipe said paws, but all's well that ends well!)

 

[ldg]

OK, for the flower (and other?) essences people, this is what is in their custom mixes.

Sheldon:

Bach Flower Essences include
Larch
Aspen

Alaskan Essences are:
Winter in August
Scepter Amethyst
Sugilite

????? Not sure I got all of those correct, it's hand written. :lol3:


Pawley:

Bach Flower Essences include
Chestnut Bud
Walnut
Cherry Plum
Rock Rose
Crab Apple

Alaskan Essences are:
Black Tourmaline
Master Quartz

 

[shadowsrescue]

I have not heard of Alaskan essences, but here are a few links that explain what the Bach flower essences are used for.  It's interesting that the Bach flower essences for Pawley are very similar to what I have used on Marvin. 

http://www.littlebigcat.com/behavior/do-it-yourself-bach-flower-essences/

http://www.bachflower.com/rescue-remedy-pets-bach-flower/